Wit & wisdom contained in military manuals

[bazcom]

WIT & WISDOM CONTAINED IN MILITARY MANUALS

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.
- Infantry Journal
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'It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you just bombed'
- U.S. Air Force Manual
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'Aim towards the Enemy'
- Instructions printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
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'When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.'
- U.S. Marine Corps
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'Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed always to hit the ground.'
- USAF Ammo Troop
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'Whoever said the pen is mightier then the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur
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'Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.'
- Infantry Journal
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'You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you come with me.'
- U.S. Marine Gunnery Sgt. (Mgysgt5)
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'Tracers work both ways.'
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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'Five second fuses only last three seconds'
- Infantry Journal
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'Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
volunteer to do anything.'
- U.S. Navy Swabbie
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'Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.'
- David Hackworth
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'If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush.'
- Infantry Journal
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'No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.'
- Joe Gay
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'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- unknown
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'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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'Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.'
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'If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.'
- USAF Ammo Troop
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'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
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'Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky.'
- From an old carrier sailor
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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage , it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore unsafe.'
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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
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'Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
club.'
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'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If
a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If an ATC screws up.... The pilot
dies.'
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'Never trade luck for skill.'
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are: 'Why is it doing that?', 'Where are we?' And 'Oh S...!'
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'Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.'
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'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to complete the
flight successfully.'
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'Mank ind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!'
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'Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag to
store dead batteries.'
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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it.'
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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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'A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to
its maximum.'
- Jon McBride, astronaut
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'If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash as possible.'
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot )
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'A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of
your unit.'
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
--------------------------------------------------------
'Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.'
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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'
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Basic Flying Rules: 'Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go
near the edges of it. The edges of the air ca n be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
is much more difficult to fly there.'
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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to th e terminal.'
-----------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn
off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives,
the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'. The
pilot's reply, 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

[VL Berlina 5speed]

my fav war/army quote,
"friendly fire isn't" - Unknown

[minux]

Funny how many of these apply to militaries worldwide. Even our own SRAAW weapon have (or did) face towards enemy as well as the claymore

[HRVATSKI_VOJNIK]

^those^ & these are mostly sayings from Murphy law

* Bullet Proof vests aren't.

* If the enemy is within range, so are you.

* The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick and choke harder too.

* You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

* If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid

* If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

* If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

* The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
-when they're ready.
-when you're not.

* Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

* Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

* When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

* A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

* If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.

* C-4 can make a dull day fun. (so ture)

tons more and more Murphy's laws here:
Murphy Laws Site - The origin and laws of Murphy in one place.

[PSYKO PHOENIX]

how about these 2

pilots should all know this one

"Learn from other peoples mistakes, you wont be arround long enough to learn from yours"

3 most useless things in avation, altitude above you, runway behind you and fuel back at the airport