Few legal questions

[SHANBANGER]

First off, if anyone is going to advise me to talk to the police or a solicitor, then dont post or feel free to close the thread.
My parents have had a pretty messy break up last in august and things still havent been sorted out yet, im living with my mum and sister in a rented house and my father is living in the family home that both my parents own. So i have a few questions and only serious answers please, nothing outrageously stupid but im open to suggestions.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)
2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?
3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect...
4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him?
5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it.

Also i wanna be a cop within the next year so any illegal things that can be proved without witnesses (assault, property damage...) is out of the picture because he has already said that if i lay a finger on him he will have me charged.

Cheers for your advice everyone

[Darren_L]

mmm....
I know you don't want to hear it but
mate I'd be very careful taking legal advice off a forum

[vr94ss]

First off, if anyone is going to advise me to talk to the police or a solicitor, then dont post or feel free to close the thread.
My parents have had a pretty messy break up last in august and things still havent been sorted out yet, im living with my mum and sister in a rented house and my father is living in the family home that both my parents own. So i have a few questions and only serious answers please, nothing outrageously stupid but im open to suggestions.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)
2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?
3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect...
4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him?
5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it.

Also i wanna be a cop within the next year so any illegal things that can be proved without witnesses (assault, property damage...) is out of the picture because he has already said that if i lay a finger on him he will have me charged.

Cheers for your advice everyone

I'm not a lawyer but I think you'll find this correct..

1 and 4 would be a restraining order and the cops called _every_ time he even looks like breaching it.

2 yes she is and long as it's her property, I wouldn't bother about aguing about furniture etc, not worth it, but personal stuff is easy. In NSW you can get a Sheriff to accompany her you'll have to see about Vic.

3 If the dog is registered to you mum, it's your mum's dog.

5 don't bother.. Be a witness for the restraining orders and demand he be taken to court every time he breaks it. He'll end up in gaol.

That's about as concise and bull free as I can be. Hope it doesn't all turn to shit for you all.

[GetToDaChopa]

3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect...

Sell the dog, and divide the money.

2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?

Yes, but i would suggest dividing you property, i would not want to share it. Also that way you are done with it you don't have to keep going back and forth.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)

Challenge your father in an arm wrestle if he looses he has to leave the house. If he wins he can stay for another 2 hours. You better start working out, just remember... Over the top!!

Thats all i can help you with. And i am serious.

[Kikki]

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time) Apart from a restraining order, once you have demanded someone leave your property and they don't its trespass, as long as he is on YOUR side of the letterbox you are allowed to defend your property (within reason).

2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns? Again, Police will escort her and hang around whilst she gets her belongings. If she is no longer living there and enters the property she can be in trouble also for trespass. IF her name is on the papers for the house then it may be different.

3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect. Family pet and most of the "family" reside at your mothers house, therefore in fairness the pet should be with your mother.

4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him? Tell your sister to stop, tell her to inform your dad that any communication between your mother and him NEEDS to be done through their lawyers. You guys both need to explain toboth parents if they choose to whinge about the other they need to take it elsewhere, its extremely unfair of them to pile it onto you and your sister.

5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it. Stay out of it, its a divorce, its going to go through court, there is property at risk, your best off letting your mums lawyer deal with it first and whatever you chose to do to your dad after that then go for gold.

To me it sounds like your mum really needs to get a restraining order, and when he breaches it, keep calling the police. I know its not the easiest but its gotta be done the correct way. The way your dad is going he is only making himself look a fool by trying to control her etc, make sure your mum documents everything, dates/times etc etc and pass it onto her lawyer.

[vr94ss]

One further thing I'll add to my first post.. If your dad is not violent, threatening etc and it's just a messy divorce, butt out. Let your parents sort it and deal with it as millions of others have to. It's not pretty but use it as a learning experience.

[ClairBear]

Police will escort her and hang around whilst she gets her belongings. .

No they won't. They will attend if they are called because something has kicked off, but the Police don't book social calls to stand by in case something happens or accompany you to your old place of residence because you fear for your safety.

This is why so many women end up battered half to death, despite having a restraining order. You cannot ring the Police and ask them to attend because something might happen. They will tell you to call back when it happens. Men know this and turn up, give you a kicking THEN you can ring the cops.

[vr94ss]

Men know this and turn up, give you a kicking THEN you can ring the cops.

Being a little general in your appraisal there my dear?

[Kikki]

Cant say that I agree when it comes to Vic & WA, I have been in that very situation both in Victoria (my mother & father) and then here (my own separation) the police were more than willing to assist.

[SHANBANGER]

One further thing I'll add to my first post.. If your dad is not violent, threatening etc and it's just a messy divorce, butt out. Let your parents sort it and deal with it as millions of others have to. It's not pretty but use it as a learning experience.

He is threatening verbally, not violent as in assault but he does stand over my mum, and this usually happens when im not home, eg he comes to the house abusing her, ringing up and abusing ect. Ill definately be learning a hell of a lot out of it. Thanks for your advice mate

[ClairBear]

5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it.

Also i wanna be a cop within the next year

These two phrases bother me. Surely as a person who wants to be a cop you would be a person who is an upstanding citizen who respects, honours and obeys the law. But you seem to condone deliberately winding up a person, possibly suggesting ways to attack him that can't be proven. It is not really a rational and mature way to deal with a situation. It is far better to let the authorities deal with him rather than inflame a situation.

The only way to deal with this man is to slap a restraining order on him, and phone the Police each time he breaches it.

As for your mothers possessions, she can seek return of them via the courts if he refuses to hand them over.

[ClairBear]

Being a little general in your appraisal there my dear?

Not at all.

[SHANBANGER]

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time) Apart from a restraining order, once you have demanded someone leave your property and they don't its trespass, as long as he is on YOUR side of the letterbox you are allowed to defend your property (within reason).

2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns? Again, Police will escort her and hang around whilst she gets her belongings. If she is no longer living there and enters the property she can be in trouble also for trespass. IF her name is on the papers for the house then it may be different.

3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect. Family pet and most of the "family" reside at your mothers house, therefore in fairness the pet should be with your mother.

4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him? Tell your sister to stop, tell her to inform your dad that any communication between your mother and him NEEDS to be done through their lawyers. You guys both need to explain toboth parents if they choose to whinge about the other they need to take it elsewhere, its extremely unfair of them to pile it onto you and your sister.

5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it. Stay out of it, its a divorce, its going to go through court, there is property at risk, your best off letting your mums lawyer deal with it first and whatever you chose to do to your dad after that then go for gold.

To me it sounds like your mum really needs to get a restraining order, and when he breaches it, keep calling the police. I know its not the easiest but its gotta be done the correct way. The way your dad is going he is only making himself look a fool by trying to control her etc, make sure your mum documents everything, dates/times etc etc and pass it onto her lawyer.

1) So worst case scenario he trys to get into the house, refuses to leave, i can first off defend myself and prevent him from entering the house?

2) Both names are on the papers for the house

3) Agreed

4) I dont have any contact with my father apart from verbal confrentations, so i will be talking to my mum and sister about this to make sure theres no contact by using my sister.

5) Lawyers/Solicitors seem to take forever and its been going on for 7 months, theres no business to divide, just the home and not even a large amount of assets, just frustrating thats all.

Thanks for your advice mate, you have helped me out a bunch and given me a few more things to consider, i appreciate it. Everything has been documented before the seperation untill this day so i will discuss the restraining order with my mum. Cheers mate

[SHANBANGER]

3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect...

Sell the dog, and divide the money.

2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?

Yes, but i would suggest dividing you property, i would not want to share it. Also that way you are done with it you don't have to keep going back and forth.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)

Challenge your father in an arm wrestle if he looses he has to leave the house. If he wins he can stay for another 2 hours. You better start working out, just remember... Over the top!!

Thats all i can help you with. And i am serious.

The dog is 7 years old and is a member of the family so he stays.
We dont want to share the house, we want it sold but my father has run it into the ground and wants to repair some things (bathroom) at equal cost to each party which is just dragging things on even longer. We have only been back there twice in 7 months.

[Kikki]

I understand completely, this is all so similar to what my parents went through and it took just over 18 months before it was sorted, so just be patient and let the courts/lawyer do what they are paid to do. FWIW my parents still bitch about each other =/

In ALL states as long as you are on your side of the letterbox, and he is too and you have verbally given him the order to leave then yes, you can defend yourself & property with force (within reason).

Try to make sure you have at least a witness when this happens, preferably someone other than your mother or sister obviously. So yelling loud to get a neighbours attention etc.

[vr94ss]

He is threatening verbally, not violent as in assault but he does stand over my mum, and this usually happens when im not home, eg he comes to the house abusing her, ringing up and abusing ect. Ill definately be learning a hell of a lot out of it. Thanks for your advice mate

Then disregard my second post It was a caveat incase he wasn't being and therefore shouldn't be persecuted because you have to understand it's not nice situation for him either but when it comes to threats and violence......

[Maxxiz]

Contrary to popular belief, "Self Defense" is actually a hard excuse to use. Firstly, there is often no proof they initiated it. Secondly, You can't claim "Self Defence" if they slap you and you batter them till they can hardly breathe, if they touch/harm you, you must first try to get away from the threat (eg. run away) Then if they catch up/trap you etc.. You can sometimes call self defense.

[SHANBANGER]

These two phrases bother me. Surely as a person who wants to be a cop you would be a person who is an upstanding citizen who respects, honours and obeys the law. But you seem to condone deliberately winding up a person, possibly suggesting ways to attack him that can't be proven. It is not really a rational and mature way to deal with a situation. It is far better to let the authorities deal with him rather than inflame a situation.

The only way to deal with this man is to slap a restraining order on him, and phone the Police each time he breaches it.

As for your mothers possessions, she can seek return of them via the courts if he refuses to hand them over.

I didnt say about doing anything illegal here, which is where i am getting frustrated, im sure a fair amount of cops would have felt like punching someone once in their lives but had to hold it in due to their job or what they want to be. Im not saying im going to punch him and if no one sees it its fine. Im just saying that if he turns up on my mothers doorstep yelling abuse out of the blue due to absolutely no reason at all, what i should do. We have tried the authorities, and with things getting held up on his side, we are finding it hard to get everything settled quickly and efficiently. Looks like a restraining order seems to be the go, also some possessions may be needed within a week or 2, an example was when it was leading up to christmas and he wouldnt let my mother have her christmas decorations that we made as children ect.. stuff like that.
I do thankyou though for bringing up a couple of these issues though. All different views on the situation are appreciated

[vr94ss]

Not at all.

So men beat women and wait around the corner till noone is watching and then we all pounce! Beat them senseless etc?

You may want to watch what you project. We know if people are treated a certain way they end up fulfilling your expectations. I'm just glad that most women don't have your view.

[SHANBANGER]

Then disregard my second post It was a caveat incase he wasn't being and therefore shouldn't be persecuted because you have to understand it's not nice situation for him either but when it comes to threats and violence......

Very true, which makes me wonder why someone would want to start threatening someone in the first place. Sitting back and doing nothing is the best thing to do obviously but a young male can only do that for so long ofcourse. I have though, sat in my loungeroom listening to myself and my mother being abused through the window, and not said a word

[S.T.K.E]

Funny that you have posted something like this. i am currently in a similar situation. Very similar. However i am a few steps ahead of you and i can provide the right answers.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)
First off do not use force. It has been reported to police yes? well then you should to get your hands on a restraining order. It takes no time to fill it out and for it to be severed.
With this been said, if he does rock up (this is exactly what the QPS said to my mother) she is to call triple O stating that she fears for her safety. REMEMBER that. It's a priority list. And that is right up the top. Things become alot different if the police rock up and he is still present.
2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?
Devoice proceedings and mediation solve this problem. (I can tell you that that is how it works)
3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect.
Good luck....... It's a dog..... Not a child
4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him?
Don't get back at him. Funny how things like this resemble school yard bullying. The restraining order takes care of the driving past as long as it can be proven. The others will work them selves out.
5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it.
Just tell him that you will wipe him from your life and have nothing to do with him. If you have the balls to walk away, bloody good on you.

Now you also say that you would like to be a coper. I currently have completed the application process of the Queensland police service. I am currently awaiting my final yes or no. I can tell you right now, you do not want to get involved in anything.

We dont want to share the house, we want it sold but my father has run it into the ground and wants to repair some things (bathroom) at equal cost to each party which is just dragging things on even longer. We have only been back there twice in 7 months.

The divorce proceedings will take care of this problem.

[SHANBANGER]

So men beat women and wait around the corner till noone is watching and then we all pounce! Beat them senseless etc?

You may want to watch what you project. We know if people are treated a certain way they end up fulfilling your expectations. I'm just glad that most women don't have your view.

Its all sweet guys thanks for both of your views, but please keep on the topic thanks

[SHANBANGER]

Funny that you have posted something like this. i am currently in a similar situation. Very similar. However i am a few steps ahead of you and i can provide the right answers.

1) If my father comes onto my mums rented property and fails to leave as soon as asked, what force can be used to get him off the property. (Yes we have called the police and it takes them atleast 10 minutes to get there each time)
First off do not use force. It has been reported to police yes? well then you should to get your hands on a restraining order. It takes no time to fill it out and for it to be severed.
With this been said, if he does rock up (this is exactly what the QPS said to my mother) she is to call triple O stating that she fears for her safety. REMEMBER that. It's a priority list. And that is right up the top. Things become alot different if the police rock up and he is still present.
2) Is my mum aloud access to her legal possessions in a house that she equally owns?
Devoice proceedings and mediation solve this problem. (I can tell you that that is how it works)
3) We have a family dog which gets 2 weeks at each house, we have been advised by our solicitor that we are aloud to keep him, considering we pay for his vet bills, have my mums name on his registration ect.
Good luck....... It's a dog..... Not a child
4) My father always finds ways to controll my mum, whether it be driving past the house often, finding out things about her and calling my sister and getting her to tell my mum bout what he has said ect... any ideas on how to stop this or any ways to get back at him?
Don't get back at him. Funny how things like this resemble school yard bullying. The restraining order takes care of the driving past as long as it can be proven. The others will work them selves out.
5) Lastly i know he is my father blah blah blah, he is scared of me so if you have any suggestions on how to really get up him id like to hear it.
Just tell him that you will wipe him from your life and have nothing to do with him. If you have the balls to walk away, bloody good on you.

Now you also say that you would like to be a coper. I currently have completed the application process of the Queensland police service. I am currently awaiting my final yes or no. I can tell you right now, you do not want to get involved in anything.


The divorce proceedings will take care of this problem.

Thanks alot for your post mate, it helps having someone who has gone through the same thing in a similar situation. I have so far controlled myself while extremely upset/angry and have walked away, at the time its the last thing i want to do but after its all done and things have cooled down im always so glad that i did. Thanks for your answers and is it ok if i PM you with any other questions that i will no doubt come up with instead of posting it on here? Cheers mate!

[vr94ss]

Very true, which makes me wonder why someone would want to start threatening someone in the first place. Sitting back and doing nothing is the best thing to do obviously but a young male can only do that for so long ofcourse. I have though, sat in my loungeroom listening to myself and my mother being abused through the window, and not said a word

Continue doing so.. It won't last forever. People threaten when they are hurt, your dad is not immune, most people have more self control and sense than your dad. Just get the restraining order and be there for your mum and sister and don't do stupid shit. Let the cops handle it unless you are defending them. I mean for real defending them, not annoying non-violent stuff. That'll pass.

[SHANBANGER]

Continue doing so.. It won't last forever. People threaten when they are hurt, your dad is not immune, most people have more self control and sense than your dad. Just get the restraining order and be there for your mum and sister and don't do stupid shit. Let the cops handle it unless you are defending them. I mean for real defending them, not annoying non-violent stuff. That'll pass.

Cheers mate ill be taking that on board for sure