Same Gender Flirting

[Deutscher]

Uh Hi guys,
I've read through the forum rules and can't find a reason why this wouldn't be allowed.
I'm a guy and interested in hooking up with another guy. I don't have the courage to walk up to someone and .. you know start flirting. I think it's quite difficult with the same gender... I'm after advice. Even going to a gay club doesn't work because I know quite a few people that go there and they aren't gay. So.. does anyone have advice?

[HamaTime™]

I don't mean to be old fashioned or too forward with my opinion, but:

Ew, and gross and my advice: Don't let her do it.

moving on, if she wants to do it, go to a gay club and find someone who's gay.

[minux]

If you cannot answer the OP's question. Do not post.

Failure to abide by this rule will see you take an indefinite holiday.

[minux]

OP, although opposite gender(i believe your original post was regarding a female friend?) my uncle when coming out was unsure of where to go and what to do etc. He found a gay help community and met his soon to be husband there. Helped him not feel so bad about who he is and he also got to make a whole group of friends, a few simple searches can help find these sorts of places.

Justa tip, it is worth being a chaueffeur for the first occassion to make sure it is all legit.

For the record, I am against same sex partnerships, that said, people cannot help who they love.

All the best to your friend.

[Deutscher]

Not very suprised that after I changed the Gender of the original post there is a dramastic decrease of posts.
Shows how Male Gays are perceived in general.
Nyway. I presumed I wouldn't get any decent advice.
I'm not gay, been with my missus for almost 8yrs now. I didn't make it up about my friend either. I did actually think that there would be someone that would actually have some advice for her... guess not. I've already asked Mod to delete thread. Laters.

[Deutscher]

OP, although opposite gender(i believe your original post was regarding a female friend?) my uncle when coming out was unsure of where to go and what to do etc. He found a gay help community and met his soon to be husband there. Helped him not feel so bad about who he is and he also got to make a whole group of friends, a few simple searches can help find these sorts of places.

Justa tip, it is worth being a chaueffeur for the first occassion to make sure it is all legit.

For the record, I am against same sex partnerships, that said, people cannot help who they love.

All the best to your friend.

Thank you Minux.
I've got a couple of gay male friends of mine, which only recently "came out", I think it's a bit different than gay females in the way you can't really tell who is actually gay apart from the uhh dyke kind of look. Either way they both have problems finding partners. I used to be anti-gay males but they aren't actually that bad once you know them. I'll suggest finding a social group but I'm not sure if she would consider it and I don't know how interested she is or if it's just a try thing, you know.

[lepht93]

Thank you Minux.
I've got a couple of gay male friends of mine, which only recently "came out", I think it's a bit different than gay females in the way you can't really tell who is actually gay apart from the uhh dyke kind of look. Either way they both have problems finding partners. I used to be anti-gay males but they aren't actually that bad once you know them. I'll suggest finding a social group but I'm not sure if she would consider it and I don't know how interested she is or if it's just a try thing, you know.

Not always true, trust me, many of my gay friends wouldn't come across as the stereotypical gay, and are a lot more straight acting than many of my straight friends.

[soop]

Can one of you guys that knows a few gay people explain why some feel the need to prance around and shriek all the time? (Stereotypical I know)

To clarify I've nothing against gay partnerships. If it makes them happy power to 'em. But it honestly shits me up the wall when guys carry on like 12yr old girls. I don't see the need for it personally.

[lepht93]

Once again, I can assure you that's less than half the gay community. Look I may as well be upfront so I can defend my point properly, I'm not straight, however only a very small amount of people I've come out to said they had an idea. I have no idea why some gays live up to the stereotype but I can't tell wether it's an act or not. I think it's a trait that's acquired through hanging out with other gays, but I agree with you, I hate the stereotype and I don't know why they do it, and that's why I hate it when people ask me why I'm NOT like that, it's not gay default to have to act like that and My gay friends aren't like that either, just because you like guys doesn't mean you have to act like a girl (and when I ask people why they date that sort of guy, I just ask, don't you like 'guys'? If that makes sense)
But yeah, stereotype - not complete majority

[Deutscher]

I know 3 gay friends, 2 of them are quite straight acting, 1 does the annoying gay voice.... always feel like punching him in the face.

Lepht, whats your strategy for picking up? or your advice for my friend? I'd tell her (if I was picking up a chick) to buy her a drink and compliment here and then try to make conversation... but If she buys a girl a drink and compliments her... it be just being friendly for them. Even dancing with them wouldn't mean anything for another chick (if you don't know they are lezzo). Is there some sort of ice-breaker that you could try without full out saying that she's a lezzo? This is if you can't by looking at them tell that they are lezzo/bi.

[lepht93]

Hmmm I'd say a gay club, may be tacky, but due to the fact a lot of people won't fill the stereotype yet are still gay/les it's just social cues to work on. Hit on them lightly and if they don't respond either they're not interested or not gay. It can be offensive to ask. It's actually quite different with guys and I don't really 'pickup' it's more of meet someone through a friend and you know because you've been told they're gay/bi. To date I've never hit on a straight guy... Sober But yeah, light social cues are the way to go, unlessshe has aspergers, it'll be apparent if there's interest or nkt

[Deutscher]

Hmmm I'd say a gay club, may be tacky, but due to the fact a lot of people won't fill the stereotype yet are still gay/les it's just social cues to work on. Hit on them lightly and if they don't respond either they're not interested or not gay. It can be offensive to ask. It's actually quite different with guys and I don't really 'pickup' it's more of meet someone through a friend and you know because you've been told they're gay/bi. To date I've never hit on a straight guy... Sober But yeah, light social cues are the way to go, unlessshe has aspergers, it'll be apparent if there's interest or nkt

Hmm.. seems like a gay club would be the way to go. I told her experiment would be easier with someone you know, less risks etc involved. But she won't do it because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship if things get awkward etc. and like I previously said I don't know if she is actually bi or just curious therefore thinking that she doesn't want her friends to know etc. The only thing about a gay club is that If she went I bet she'd want me to come along... which I don't want to for numerous reasons.

[lepht93]

They're actually really fun, I go with friends as I already am 'taken' but the environment is more friendly than in a regular club, I do however prefer regular clubs. Hit on some guys, get them to buy a drink, walk off, haha kidding :P
She could also try online? Much more discreet.

[soop]

Yeah I understand its not EVERYONE, I didn't mean to imply it was.

Another question, why do so many people feel the need to "Come out" especially people in the public eye.
I mean, its not like heterosexual people walk around telling everyone they like the opposite sex.

And while I'm at it, whats you're opinion on the Mardigras?

(Don't really get the chance to ask such things in a not hostile environment :P )

[STEALTHY™]

Yeah I understand its not EVERYONE, I didn't mean to imply it was.

Another question, why do so many people feel the need to "Come out" especially people in the public eye.
I mean, its not like heterosexual people walk around telling everyone they like the opposite sex.
Because people assume everyone is straight. If its been made known they aren't, they wont get the question 'do you have a gf' from everybody they meet.

And while I'm at it, whats you're opinion on the Mardigras?
Stupid idea.

(Don't really get the chance to ask such things in a not hostile environment :P )

Wheres the hostile environment you would have otherwise asked?

[lepht93]

Because it's default to be straight, or atleast assume, it's not standard to be gay hence the red to come out. If you mean in public eye as in via media, I guess because if caught without being 'out' the negative publicity would have such bad ramifications.
and I've never been, can't really comment

[soop]

You know what it is though, how do you think it reflects on yourself and others like you?

As for the "coming out" thing, its a bit rediculous that it will cause such an uproar. Who really cares?


Stealthy - Why is being asked if they have a GF a big deal? Someone asks tell them no, if they ask why tell them then.
I just don't see the big deal of having to go on TV and tell everyone you like men, big whoop, my day is changed by the fact. Frankly I think anyone that is interested in finding out what others do behind closed doors needs to get a life.

As for hostile environment, probably wrong use of the word. I don't know anyone who's openly gay. Except for those Stereotypical types, and I don't assosiate with them. Purely because I'd want to punch them square in the face after 5mins of listening to a grown man act life a 16yr old girl :P

[STEALTHY™]

You know what it is though, how do you think it reflects on yourself and others like you?

As for the "coming out" thing, its a bit rediculous that it will cause such an uproar. Who really cares?

As has been pointed out in this thread, thats not how all gay people are, if anything it only reflects as a small percentage. It does give meaning to the stereotypes, unfortunately.

Some people still do care, otherwise there wouldn't be a need to come out.

[soop]

Which is kind of my point, rehtorical questions don't really work online I guess.

I think its odd that people get that caught up in it. I mean, how does it effect US if someone on TV has a same sex relationship? (or anyone for that matter)
Are you gay Stealthy?
I'm sort of asking for the opinion on that side of the fence. Not just what someone else THINKS its like.

[STEALTHY™]

Which is kind of my point, rehtorical questions don't really work online I guess.

I think its odd that people get that caught up in it. I mean, how does it effect US if someone on TV has a same sex relationship? (or anyone for that matter)

So um, i guess i dont need to answer then? :P
It doesn't effect anyone in the sense their lives are going to change. However 'celebrities' are always in the public eye, their relationships included. People thrive on knowing stuff about other people, so it will always happen (personally i dont care what celebrities do, but most people thrive on it for some reason)

[soop]

Which is why i think said people need to get a life. lol.

[Tom_1569]

Which is kind of my point, rehtorical questions don't really work online I guess.

I think its odd that people get that caught up in it. I mean, how does it effect US if someone on TV has a same sex relationship? (or anyone for that matter)
Are you gay Stealthy?
I'm sort of asking for the opinion on that side of the fence. Not just what someone else THINKS its like.

I was going to ask the same question.

[STEALTHY™]

Which is why i think said people need to get a life. lol.

Alot of people do.......

[STEALTHY™]

Are you gay Stealthy?
I'm sort of asking for the opinion on that side of the fence. Not just what someone else THINKS its like.

Didn't see your edit. Yes, I thought it was common knowledge now tho (so ah, does this count as 'coming out' to you soop?)

[soop]

lol not really because I asked. (See how it works? Didn't need to go on TODAY TONIGHT or anything eh?)
I've always thought you were a pedantic ponce, (JK :P) but didn't know you're gay.