Donati..Whoa Green
Stories of stupid mechanical stuff you have been told by clueless people.
I tried to think of a better title but this was the best I could manage.
Anyway I wanted to start a thread where people can share conversations they have had with morons telling mechanical stuff that makes no sense.
For instance:
I was talking to a customer at work about the weather, he said he hates the cold because it makes his car hard to start, when I asked why, he said,
"The cold air hits the hot engine and makes the engine condense, which also makes the hot injectors condense, which make tiny drops of water appear in the injectors, which make the engine not want to turn over".
Anyway after busting a gut trying not to laugh I managed to walk away and laugh my arse off in private.
Anyone else got a story to share?
-Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
-Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
-Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short Phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Ronald Reagan (1986)
Make the stupid stop!
How about the endless posts here from noobs asking what type of exhaust will make their V6 sound like a V8 because they believe it can be done?
Originally Posted by commodore1310
Donati..Whoa Green
I more meant conversations with real people, and preferably funny, or face-palm-able. But I see where your going.
-Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
-Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
-Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short Phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Ronald Reagan (1986)
Semper Fidelis
being told by a so called mechanic that to change the fuel pump in my vn wagon the tank would need to be removed.
was in town with all the local hoons, my friends mates all talking when suddenly a guy wreckons he got upto 15kw with a straight through exhaust because the air flow wasnt interupted by mufflers :| i guess thats makes sense if he drives a vp thats 8 different colours. all i could do was walk away in shame as i didnt want anyone seeing me talking to him
DoNothing Member
i remember my dad telling me that a long engine was when it had the transmission attached, short was when it came without.
when i did my neverending v6-v8 conversion he'd always ask if i was also swapping random items that'd be specific to any engine, like intake manifold, or headers.
white trash hillbillie
i got a few...
a bloke trying to tell me he's getting a vl with a 460 in it. i said "i think a 460 is a big block ford motor" but he wouldn't believe me
another one, bloke bails me up when im in my old lx hatch and starts talking cars. apparently he had a crazy torana with all the power in the world, did wheelies too. so me humouring this guy i say "damn, musta had some big tyres and stallie to pop a wheelie!" nope, apparently this thing could lift em with a standard convertor and skinny 14s under it!
and the best one. guy in a white vt/vx twin turbo LS1, complete with ridiculous looking bodykit and purple graphics was at a local car show. i asked how much power/how quick. well....
apparently it made 1000+rwhp, but judging by the size of the turbos i would have been surprised if it made more than half that (it looked like a backyard job, this was back in the day before LS turbo kits were a dime a dozen) and the 1/4 mile time? a supposed high 8 at damn near 150mph??? and that was with the heavy ass stereo and tv's still in it and on the big diameter shiny rims under it! i've never been more tempted to tell someone they're more full of crap than the local sewerage plant!!
My favourite is when customers ask about lowered shocks to suit their lowered car. When they ask me if the lowered shocks will affect the height of the car the writing is on the wall. Has happened a few times in the last few months. Facepalm just doesn't cover it
VYII Calais L67
That's funny as water condenses on cold surfaces.
I once had a NRMA service man swear black and blue that the motor in my Fathers V8 Statesman was seized as he could not jump start it (Dad like to listen to the stereo alot while at home), anyway I tell the guy that I built the motor and I will bet his mechanics license that the motor is not seized, he packed up and left before I could change the battery out of my car to prove him wrong.
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At my brothers work there is 1 guy always going on about how much his cars kick ass over anyone elses. He has a stock as factory VN that's lowered with mags and an exhaust, apparently it has "worked internals" but when you ask him whats been done to it he says "Not sure, but it has worked internals. The guy I bought it off did it". He also keeps talking about his other VN that has "heated fuel lines" that gives something stupid like 50rwkw. I looked it up and all I could find was theory about heated fuel being more fuel efficient but nothing that proves it, the same article says it would lose power as well.
Site Administrator
Think I know the VT your talking about, looks hideous!
Selling FG G6E Turbo and buying a N/A Supra
Aint no family cruiser!!!
agreed, its just not gunna happen for ya buddy, live with the fact its a 6 or buy an 8
Going where no late model stato/caprice has gone before.... GAME ON!!
Banned
But not everyone wants an 8, sometimes people want be different...
I hate that arguement. With a passion.
"I don't want to pay for the fuel an 8 uses, so i'll mod my 6 untill it makes he same power"
Totally disregard the fact that a small motor making the same power as a big motor is going to use more fuel. But none the less its different. So is Herpe's I guess.
VIP Member
QUICKVR95II trying to say that a commodore was a 2 stroke....
You All ARE Wrong About A Commodore Being A 4 Stroke Engine... Or Any Car For A Matter Of Fact...
A V6 CAN'T Run On ONLY 1 Cylinder... IT'S A 24 STROKE ENGINE... 4 CYCLES Per Cylinder... "Basically Three V-Twins Together
Banned
The stupid thing is. He is techinically correct. But its such a stupid and redundant thing to say...
captain halfajob
got a few:
"i once had a torana with a 900HP 253 natrally aspirated"
"putting these crystals on your car makes everything work in harmony"
"multi-point spark plugs make 4 sparks, even on a stock ignition system"
"spark plugs made out of silver work best"
"when i was making 300kw in my V6...."
"efi V8's sound better than carby"
Banned
Please tell me how a carby makes the engine sound different...
buddaboy1990
sure do
just does ok. Ive had fuel injected and carby V8s and my vl carby sounds the best
Wrecking VL factory V8 only a few bits left still have full dash/crash pad
and have a vk 202 motor and 5 speed Make an offer want it gone
Banned
lol.
The carb makes no difference.
Its the heads and cam.
Bit different though, when you're talking about people who might be expected not to know anything about the topic at hand, and asking questions, to say, a mechanic giving the wrong advise.
I mean i know cars pretty well, but when i don't know something I'll ask someone and see if i can learn. I import furniture for a living and certainly don't think any question is stupid because it's not something everyone is expected to know about... do you get where im coming from?
Getting those questions often would be annoying though... but it obviously goes with your profession. (?)
#### there are some stupid ppl out there funny as hell PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mate went to buy supercharger oil from auto 1 and the girl said theres no listing, it used the engine oil.. she actually sounded really confident in her information :P
Nil Bastardo Carborundum
Soop
The intake on a large carby can really make a howl when you open them up. We used to find that on our V8's in the 70's, when we were running Quaddie's and Holleys on our 308's and 327's. The factory intake set up muffled the intake sound very heavily, but putting a low restriction air cleaner on enabled the intake sound to be far more audible. The engines used to really roar under full throttle and a lot of the noise was just the induction, not just the exhaust. They sounded great.
I think the intake set up on fuel injected engines tends to be more muffled - I can't recall a F/I V8 making the same intake howl that the old carby jobs did. F/I still needs very effective air filtration, more so than carbs, and the filtration is what stifles the intake roar.
Banned
Ahh...
Cut a hole in a fuel injected 5ltrs air box. Those bastards suck like a $500 whore.
Point was, carb doesn't change the sound :P. Stick a 1000cfm tb on a 5ltr and it will sound the same as it did before. The intake noise will be louder though.
Carby'd 5ltrs do sound different, no arguement. But its because of the heads and cam.
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^^^ I had a TRX with a L20B, from memory it had some Fujitsu (or something similar) electronic carby. I ended up getting a 2 barrel Webber for dirt cheap from a rolled car at the crash repairs.
Just the sound going from the stock carby to the Webber was unreal, from people hardly hearing it pull up the drive way to people hearing me coming from a block away. It was dead silent before I put the Webber on, I even lost 1 potential buyer because he said its too loud.
(2nd thoughts I think the stock carby was a Hitachi)
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