disciplining children

[bangers]

whats some stories you've heard of and your views on discipline?

remember everyone has a right to their own opinion. don't turn it into a slag fest.

i just heard a way that someone i know disciplined her daughter. they used to feed her dinner then put her to bed. 10mins later she'd be crying to get up and she'd cry so hard that she would vomit in her bed. to stop her doing this she started feeding her daughter back her own spew.

thats just wrong.

now i smack my daughter but it has to be something major, usually i just lock her in her room until she's ready to come out and apologise. or sit her in the naughty corner (i'm yet to be overly convinced that it works). if my daughter bites me i smack her. if she hits me i hit her back (gently) so she knows that if she does that to someone to be prepared to be hit back. last time i gave her a hard smack was when she walked around the car scratching it. everytime she touches the car i remind her of what happened last time and she then leaves the car alone. she needed to learn to respect other peoples property.

if people don't like me for the above then tough shit. if you're one of the people that don't agree in discipline then IMO you're one of the reasons society is going to hell.

KIDS NEED DISCIPLINE. i got the cane when i was younger and i respect authority. if you don't fear authority then you won't respect it IMO

[cameltoe]

i don't see why it is so bad to smack your kids when they f**k up.
when i was younger my old man used to flog the crap out of my when i was out of line but but mind you the line was huge so it was justified.
on my 18th b/day i took him out on the front lawn and gave him a hiding and said that was for all the years he did it me.

[HoZy]

Never adopt me...

How did i get my dicipline...

When i was 7 i found out my mother had a tumor, when i was 13 i found out my father had kidney disease.

My father was in the airforce back in the day so I was brought up on a very strict, YES SIR, NO SIR! Resume with him,...

Guess i just learnt respect & dicipline when i had to grow up at such a young age an pull my weight...

Cheers
MaT

[cameltoe]

hozy- my old man was in the RAAF too

[calais_304]

well my dad used to give me a good ol floggin when i used to mess up i was always scared to stuff up around him, mum used to use this hunk of wood from NZ and extension cords, gave up on coat hangers as they always broke also if i was real bad mum would get the cricket bat out and smack my ass for a 6...that hurt. but i still believe to get the message across clear you gotta use force, tellin kids to go to their room is nothing, hell when that happend i thought myself lucky that there were no welts on my ass and then pick up the gameboy and never learnt what i did wrong...

people wonder why there are so many smart ass youths...3 guesses einstine they probably never been smacked before

i don't have kids but i can tell you now i have had to look after plenty of them (heaps of lil ones in the extended family) and not one of them gives me any cheek...why...i thank the back hand

anyway believe what you want, diciplin your kids the way you want, i know what works and it's proven.

[calais_304]

hozy- my old man was in the RAAF too

my stepdad was a staff sargent in the army...i fell both your pain

[sganro]

i reckon giving ya kids a bit of a flogging when they do something wrong is necessary for them to learn that doing something wrong has consequences. Im definately against child abuse, but kids need to be kept in line within reason. Nothing worse than a smart ass little shit that gets away with anything.

I have a 3 book biography written by Dave Pelzer which tells his story of being an abused child. Its the third worst child abuse case in America. I couldnt believe what i read in those books. There is a definatley a line between discipline and abuse and his mother went way past that line. Anyone that thinks giving your kids a smack when they do something wrong is bad, read these 3 books and see what some people have had to go through...

[vt1538]

When are kids going to be held accountable for their actions? If the parents cant get in and discipline them then who is?
I can understand where society is against corporal punishment towards children as there is a fine line between discipline & abuse. However to have some little dipsh!t continually vandalise others property or steal & get away with it both from the parents & the courts is wrong. They need to bring back the stocks if we cant smack them & shame them into line.

[Bax]

Well im all for disipline.

Not sure how you choose to do it, but it needs to be there, I believe most of the troubled kids today, ADHD etc, are just kids that haven't been disciplined.

To be honest, anyone that sits back and says don't do that, and lets a child do what they want, needs to take action. You're shaping someones life, by letting them walk all over you as a child they're just going to grow up to be pretty screwed in the head.

If a child kicks up a stink, wants an icecream and starts crying. Do you get them an icecream? No - you tell them they aren't having one. If they still don't behave, smack. They can cry all they like..

And if someone comes over to me and abuses me for smacking my kids, they can cop one too.

[stylin_vr2]

i agree with bax... the next generation of kids are goin 2 be the biggest pansies and sh*t stirrers cuz they get away with everything..

[Shortstuff]

I agree with Bax too. I was brought up reasonably strictly, and smacked when my parents felt it was necessary. It was a simple concept - punished for being naughty and praised for being good. I'm trying to bring my kids up in much the same way. It worked ok for me, so why not for my kids?

If you can't smack children (i'm talking a single smack here, not a beating) for something they have done that is wrong, how are they ever expected to learn any discipline or the difference between wrong and right? Does being sent to their rooms or being told 'that was naughty' leave any impression on them? I don't think so. It wouldn't have done on me, so why would it on kids now?

[Julie]

disclipline- yes, child abuse- no I have no problems with parents smacking their children. I have found it to be one of the best methods to disclipline young kids. We smacked my daughter when she was younger, shes 7 years old now and is disclipined enough now that we don't need to smack her, haven't in years actually, just the threat of a smack pulls her in line. If she did something really naughty like bit she'd get a smack or if she was disobeying us and doing something naughty we'd do the I'm counting to 3 routine and if we got to 3 she got a smack on the bum. Now we only ever have to say 1. I'm only talking about light, open handed smacks here too I wouldn't use a belt on a young child (although I used to cop it and I turned out ok lol).

In comparision my sister in law who is really dead set against smacking tells her children to go to their room and think about what they have done and when they are ready come out and apologise for their behaviour. If they are not home they'll get put in a closed room or the car. The results are either a trashed room with holes in the walls/doors because the kids so angry and outta control or they will go in and walk out a minute later say I'm sorry. Funny thing is she would abuse my husband and I when we smacked my daughter and my daughter is a good kid welcome at anyones home, her kids are little arseholes that no one wants around.

Just outta curiosity how many of u have ever watched supernanny and thought that kid needs a good kick up the arse? lol

[Bax]

Nearly every tv show I see with little shit kids I think, they need a good ass kicking.

[J_D]

When are kids going to be held accountable for their actions? If the parents cant get in and discipline them then who is?
I can understand where society is against corporal punishment towards children as there is a fine line between discipline & abuse. However to have some little dipsh!t continually vandalise others property or steal & get away with it both from the parents & the courts is wrong. They need to bring back the stocks if we cant smack them & shame them into line.

The thing that gets me is they want to hold the parents responsible for the childs actions if they commit crimes, but the parents have no control over the kids because they cant discipline them.

[matty88]

I rekon a smacks OK once in a while, to teach the kids

[MikesVT]

I was never smacked, I dont think its the right thing to do at all. I think its more of a quick fix with long lasting effects. I believe there are more effective ways to discipline children.

As was said in the original post everyone has their own opinions, and I don't have any right to say "no one should ever smack their children" even though I dont think its the way to go, so dont get me wrong, Just my 2 cents Coming from a psych students point of view... We're pretty interested in this kind of stuff

[coolvxss]

Well im a young 18 year old, and when i was younger i got smacked a bit when i was young. And when i look back now i probly deserved it. It sorted me out. I got nuthing against it.

[yobbo88]

smacking is def needed. just apply the right pressure. im 18 and my mum and dad would smack me on the butt. mum started to use the wooden spoon as i got older cause she couldnt prove the point anymore as i got stronger. it was never enough to really hurt but certainly shocked me onto the right side of the line. I have 13 cousins that are all younger than me by quite a bit and ive had a hand (no pun intended) in the raising and i see the smack as massively benificial. I also have a 2 year old sister now from my mums 2nd marriage and im looking after her a lot. She is a shit and ill admit it but a quick smack from me (mums too busy these days) and shes back in line and im definately noticing shes straightening out quite a lot and not acting along with the generic terrible 2's behaviour. I know how hard im hitting her and shes my sister i dont want to hurt her but its a symbol that she is in trouble. Its needed. ive raised 14 kids over the last say 10 years i reckon ive got a fair bit of experience. Someone mentioned the super nanny with her "years of experience" and i have to say shes just a crazy person.

[stocky]

diJust outta curiosity how many of u have ever watched supernanny and thought that kid needs a good kick up the arse? lol

who here has watched that show and thought that nanny needed a good backhand across the face?

[Julie]

who here has watched that show and thought that nanny needed a good backhand across the face?

*raises hand*

[Patrio7]

heh worst i've had was the host accross the back of the legs, only young at the time, that hurt big time but mostly the wooden spoon from mum or the back end of a thong from dad.

but after a certain age ( ~18 ) i matured, had no need to start shit fights.

[Bax]

Oh I still start sh*t fights at 22. I think its something to do with the old boy being an immature ass sometimes.

I was thinking about this more... A smack is kind of like a stove.
A baby leans up and touches a hot stove, they get burnt, they learn a lesson.

If everytime a baby leans up and touched a hot stove, but didn't get burnt, only coaxed by loving parents to 'please not do that'.. Is that really going to stop them from doing it again?

[DavidPartay]

I was never smacked, I dont think its the right thing to do at all. I think its more of a quick fix with long lasting effects. I believe there are more effective ways to discipline children.

As was said in the original post everyone has their own opinions, and I don't have any right to say "no one should ever smack their children" even though I dont think its the way to go, so dont get me wrong, Just my 2 cents Coming from a psych students point of view... We're pretty interested in this kind of stuff

A quick fix with long lasting effects? Of course they're long lasting. It teaches your kid not to be a smart arse or they'll get beat on!

And you can flaunt your psychology course as much as you want, but the experience of more people shows that discipline (not abuse) is more effective than yelling, 'time outs', and telling kids to sit in the corner. By the way, my job involves fixing computers for psychologists and they're all weird

[CarlySS]

if a kid does something naughty you tell them off if they keep doing it i dont see the wrong it a little smack and be sent to your room

me growing up i was never smacked/sent to room/grounded only coz i never listened to anything my mum said anyway

[Bax]

so we have a trouble maker haha