Help! (Nervous as hell!)

[MikesVT]

Ok... As some of you will know from a couple other threads, there is a girl that I really really really like.

I've realised that I can't go on without telling her because it's seriously ruining me physically and emotionally (yes guys have emotions too!).

So! I figured, with Valentines day coming up... I wanted to do something special. Any suggestions?

I have a few things in mind, not sure if she's going to be free or not to go out because I'm too nervous to say anything about it to her before. I'm seriously considering leaving something for her at her place or something with a note or something like that... I havent decided 100%, but I NEED to let her know!

Any suggestions on what I could do? what I could get her? How I can tell her < thats one I need help with!

I'm pretty much broke... But am willing to spend up if I have to. This girl deserves to be swept off her feet

Any help would be much appreciated

[sircruisealotVS]

first off the bat...are you absolutly positive this chick is single, that is going to be one awkward moment if you try to give her some valentines day type of gift and shes with someone.
i dont know where you know this girl from or how often you see her, and also how well you know her...but you really need to talk to her heaps. seriously,90% of the time a chick KNOWS or gets the feeling that you like them - chicks seem pick up on this more than guys.
so you can get an idea of if she's interested when talking to her, the hard part is separating whether she's just being friendly, or if its something more than that.
as for what to do, its hard to suggest something without knowing the situation and what both of you are like...if she's like most chicks, she'll obviously dig the romantic gesture of a valentines surprise. even something as simple as showing up at her door with a single red rose and telling her how you feel about her...i really think it has to be a face to face kind of thing....no anonymous gifts or cards and stuff. also nothing too huge and extravagant - incase it doesnt go well (but ofcourse it wont).
so yeah, keep it simple, be confident and most of all just tell her how you feel man!

[MikesVT]

We havent known each other for long. We met at uni.

In the short time we've known each other we've become really really close friends. We go out and see each other heaps. We share alot of intrests. Sometimes I feel like maybe she feels the same way, but most of the time I think she is just being friendly. One of our other friends can see that there is something there, and one of my friends has told me that I make it very obvious that I like her.

She is single at the moment but this girl is one in a million. Seriously, any guy would be lucky to be with her, she could have any guy she wanted to, I've never met anyone like her. She's really great and when I'm with her (when we're not talking about our ex's) I feel so great. She's a really great person and I really like her. Thing is, I know if I don't tell her how I feel, someone else will and I might not get the chance again.

The thing is, I'm so lucky to have her as a friend and I don't want to stuff that up. That's why I havent told her already, and thats why I'm really nervous.

She deserves romance and I want to do something to sweep her off her feet. Bah... I'm rambling now

[MoNoXiDE]

Valentines day is a month away, if shes one in a million someone else may have swept her off her feet by then. Probably just best off telling her how you feel. You dont want to look back in 10 years time and regret you didnt tell her, like the other guy said, confident and simple. But obviously just dont go "I like you" *awkward 5 minute pause* lol! Make it obvious that you like her but not overpowering! Don't want to scare her away.

REMEMBER: If she says she just wants to stay friends, its not the end of the world, she may be a great gal, but there will be another one out there!

Good Luck buddy!

[MikesVT]

Thanks guys!! I'll see how I go working up my confidence hopefully she'll know before valentines, I just thought that would be a good time to do it, but it is a whole month away as you said monoxide!!

We'll see what happends. Any other suggestions are more than welcome!!

Will keep you all posted (isn't this better than reality tv? Wait.... that's out now isnt it? the new thing is quiz shows )

[sircruisealotVS]

friendship vs relationship - thats the clencher isnt mate! been there, done that.
but the thing is, you'll never know if you dont try, keeping it bottled up inside will just drive you crazy man! trust me. the thing is too, like i said, i will guarantee you she knows you like her....if your friends can see that you like her, she can see it too....and she hasnt ran for the hills yet has she?
as for you being unsure of her intent, whether it be friendly or something more - you judgement is clouded man - its damn hard to tell, and it seems to be some sort of guy's curse that we cant tell this sh*t very well....even worse when you really, really like someone and your second guessing yourself every 5 seconds.
i know its easy for me to say, but do it, tell her, the sooner the better as procrastination is a b*tch....by the time you pluck up the courage it might be too late (been there done that too!).

[Lumps of cheese]

Been there mike, i was friends with a girl for 9 months and it drove me crazy everytime we were together because i liked her that much.
I finally decided well, if i don't tell her how i feel i'll regret it for ever and to hell with the embarrassment so i took her for a drive and sweated like mad i can tell you!
She sensed it and asked me what was wrong, i opened up and told her how i felt expecting a "i really like you as a friend" but she burst into tears and told me to pull over.
I thought great, she's gonna get out and run for her life but she grabbed me and kissed me and told me she's felt the same way for god knows how long!
We're married now with two kids, 10 years after that day and still going strong.
Point is mate, if you don't tell her you'll never know.
There's no particular day to do it, you'll just know it's time so put your best foot forward and be honest with her, you'll be fine.
I wonder how many people out there said "but i don't want to ruin the friendship" and have wondered ever since.
Go for it mate and good luck!

[Holden2gether]

If you are already on a friendship level then just ask her if perhaps she would like to go out on a date sometime,don't make a big announcement of it.Try and make it sound like a casual request,Something like "perhaps you'd like to go see a movie sometime,maybe make it like a date?" this will let her know how you are feeling,it's casual enough that shouldn't make her feel uncomfortable and it will give her the chance to make her feelings for you known without putting her on the spot.She may either agree or,if she like's your friendship, then she may still agree but just as friends.
Either way you'll have to find out if you are in with a chance or not,you cannot carry on wondering.I also think that,whilst nice,the Valentines day way has the potential to make her feel awkward if she doesn't have the same feelings toward you.
Whatever you decide to do,(you could end up with the girl of your dreams or a very good friend)Good luck with it.

[AttaBoy]

Here is one tell your friend to ask her whether she likes you or not. (You can't be there) tell them to tell her when you are not around then your friend will tell your what she said. I did that last year and thats how I got my gf but we broke up a few month ago. Got a new one!!

[vlv8vic]

because of the friendship i wouldnt go 'sweeping her off her feet'. if it goes bad for you then it will be a tricky year.
I know it sounds very high-school but surely you must share some friends? or know a couple of her friends well enough to at least find out if she is interested.

You could also simple ask her out to dinner/movie or something, take a few hints from that but definatly dont go doing a big thing that is likely to ruin you both.
keep it low key because then you will both recover better on the off chance it doesnt work.

Uni hey, must be lots of drinking? have a blinder with your friends and her friends and hit on her then, if she goes for it.... good just double check in the next few days that she wants to continue seeing you. if she knocks you back just blame the grog and things should go back pretty much to normal.

good luck!

[AttaBoy]

Or send an sms to tell her of how you feel. Never under-estimate the power of sms. Not recommended but just an idea.

[Crawsh87]

i no how u feel dude. i was just friends with my gf for 2 years b4 we started dating. it's a bit of a rocky road at first. she liked me, i didn't like her..........a year down, i liked her, but she had gotin over me. now we've been together 4 a year. the best thing is to just talk to her face to face, no one else around and just spit it out. you never no, she mite feel touched about it.
i rekon tho, try and tell her b4 valetines.

good luck man.

[padrickz88]

go for it mate.... just tell her when you's are alone and not infront of people (you'll seem like a ******** if she says no) so yeah haha goodluck with it mate good to see your getting back into after the ex.....

[pandaman]

The thing is, I'm so lucky to have her as a friend and I don't want to stuff that up.

Dude, tell her how you feel exactly and simply. Include those words. Make sure you're in a nice relaxed friendly setting and just tell her. Hell if she does have feelings for you then great! If not then not so great, but I'm sure she's not going to hold your emotions against you, especially if she knows you genuinely value her friendship. Just gotta ignore the butterflies in the stomach man, they serve no useful purpose. EDIT: Hang on, you're a psych student, with a keen insight on the human mind right? So why are you asking a bunch of car hoons how to get the girl?

[ProphetVX]

Ask her before Valentines day, about 3 years ago I made the foolish move of asking out a female on Valentines day.

I asked her in the afternoon, some other bloke asked her in the morning and she said yes, because she thought I wasn't interested in her. As it turned out she wanted me to ask her out 4 or 5 months earlier, and thought I only saw her as a mate. I was really good friends with her for a few years, and didn't want to ruin it by complicating it, and in the end I finally got the balls up to do it but missed out on her by a few hours.

Chances are if you plan to ask someone out on Valentines day, the chances are alot higher that someone else may do the same than any other day of the year.

[MikesVT]

thanks everyone for the input, you've all been a great help. I think I'll do it the next time I see her, she wanted me to go to some party with her friday night so maybe after that. You've all given great advice I must say!

And pandaman, unfortunatly I think I missed the lecture on 'how to ask out the girl you like' and she's also a psych student, so she'd know all the tricks of the trade

[padrickz88]

WOOOOOOOO GO MIKE! WOOT! WOOT! hahahaha good to hear you didnt leave it to valentines day more chances if ask before hand

[MikesVT]

^ what if I ask her out in my car?

Arghh... I'm having second thoughts... I have to do it soon or I'll chicken out. Gotta go out with the boys tonight to take my mind off it!!

[pow3rslave]

nothing says love like burning your name in petrol on her lawn :P

[Julie]

nothing says love like burning your name in petrol on her lawn :P

lol i think that says something else like restraining order!

Do u have any mutual friends with this girl? If so you could get them to suss out the situation and see how shes feels about you.

[ssmate]

nothing says love like burning your name in petrol on her lawn :P

bahahah

tell her face to face dont give her some pussy sms or phone call
dont beat round the bush either tell her straight theres 2 outcomes yes/no

[Christina]

get in quick to avoid dissapointment. that is all i will say.

[1vngal]

Awww Mike, you'll be fine!! You've spoke to me bout this before, and the advice I gave you then still stands!!

But, you'll know when the right time is to ask/tell her, and just be honest and straight to the point.

As for Valentines day, well, just a little something that's a bit more personal than say what you'd buy a mate. But, don't go too over the top and mushy. If you know what sorta things interest her then use that as a starting point.

Ask her to come out with you on or the day before or after valentines day, and at the end of a successful date, give her the gift, and let her know whats on your mind!

[AttaBoy]

................at the end of a successful date, give her the gift, and let her know whats on your mind!

Sex?? Kiss?? Get bitch slapped?? Lots of things can be on your mind!!
Just be careful.

[VNexecutive]

okay im no expert, but find a place she likes going. go for a walk along the beach or something. talk to her heaps. and i mean heaps. also making her laugh does the trick usually.. makes you seem "sweet" apparently..

then to actually ask her out, you could say something like "what do you think of me and you" and lead on from there

or you could say "what would you say if i asked you to be my girlfriend", then if she says "id say yes, why?" then you say "JUST ASKING!" LOL
then if she giggles and gives you a little slap on the arm you know it'd be alright, then you just ask her.

or you could dodge anything past the "what would you say if i asked you to be my girlfriend" part and just continue with that.


just my 2cents..