Your mates ex

[drewins]

What do people think about going for your good mates ex girlfriend? Ive heard different views from some people. Some say dont even go there you would be a bad friend to do that. And some just say if they're not together anymore then go for it.

My situation:

My good mate hasnt been with his ex for about a year. He didnt treat her very well during the break up. They have seen each other for one nighters every now and then though. I have been becoming good friends with her over the last year and am starting to really like her. Her best friend is trying to get us together and doesnt see a problem with it. I have no idea how my mate would react if I made a move on her and something happened. He hasnt been with her for a year but still sees her on the odd occasion as drunken one nighters.

What are your views?

[Garth]

ah,
sounds like she is a tart
id pass on this one champ. in all honesty may start of all fine and all, but it will get awakard, mates should never see a mate's ex, regardless of who she is.

afterall, if they are still hooking up for the old one nighter still then yeah, doesnt realy say much about her, or him for that fact. sometimes it's better to just walk away. the choice is yours.

[Boonz]

ive done it twice to the same guy but it was a fair while after the second time lol.... wouldnt advise it causes alot of problemsm with eveyrone trust me

[MikesVT]

Well, you say he goes back for one nighters, so MAYBE theres still something there...

It's really hard to say, It depends on the people involved and whether they are the kind of people that forgive forget and move on.

Personally, If one of my friends went out with my ex, I'd go a bit skitzo But thats only because I still care about her n all that. My other ex... I dont care if my best friend wanted to go out with her, I'd warn him not to, but i wouldnt care

its a tough one mate.. good luck

[mattman]

Lol wouldn't go there.... ex's are sometimes a bit of a sore point so it's kind of like rubbing salt in open wounds.

Plus if she's going back for a bit more on occasion I'd question the relationship they have now and possibly what sort of girl she is (nothing wrong with getting a bit, mind, but if he was abusive you have to wonder what's going on in her head).

By all means keep it on as friends but it just sounds to me like asking for trouble.

[drewins]

ah,
sounds like she is a tart
id pass on this one champ. in all honesty may start of all fine and all, but it will get awakard, mates should never see a mate's ex, regardless of who she is.

afterall, if they are still hooking up for the old one nighter still then yeah, doesnt realy say much about her, or him for that fact. sometimes it's better to just walk away. the choice is yours.

Yeh I didnt make her sound good at all. As a matter of fact she is one of the best girls i've ever met. Smart, funny and beautiful. She is not a tart. Her best friend seems to think she cant quite let go of him because she just doesnt want to be lonely or something. And it only ever happens when they've been drinking.

Has anyone had any bad experiences with these sort of situations?

[Boonz]

yerrrp.... and he wants to kill me

[MikesVT]

90% of these situations will result in a 'bad experience', but maybe your one of the 10%

Thought about bringing it up in a convo with him somehow?

I know it would be awkward as hell, but it'd be better than him finding out you had started seeing her.

You can just say that you wanted to make sure it was ok with him first and that you would never do it if he wasnt ok with it, or something like that...

[drewins]

Well I would hate to say something to him like 'how would you feel if i dated your ex girlfriend?' when she wasnt even interested in me. I think I should find out if she is interested first. Then run it by him. I guess it all depends on what your mate is like hey? Whether he gets upset over small things or hes just someone who can get over things and be happy for his mates. I think he is the later.

[Boonz]

well it would definately be better to tell him not let him find out if anything is going to happen

[drewins]

Yeh for sure. Theres no way I would disrespect one of my mates.

[IBLOWN]

Ive done it. Ive been married to her for a year now

[Grennan]

I had a very similar experience as you, if you really treasure your mates friendship i would go and ask him what he thinks before you dive in if you know what i mean.

Good luck. And if ever in doubt. Mates before dates, Bros before Hoes whatever analgy you want to stick by.

[drewins]

yeh I would definately be having a word to him if something was going to happen. But as I said i have gotta be sure something will happen else I will look stupid.

[STEALTHY™]

90% of these situations will result in a 'bad experience', but maybe your one of the 10%

57% of statistics are made up on the spot........


seriously tho, Don't go there. If there still hooking up, it'll still happen even if your with her.

Its a tipical rule that you stay away from mates ex's, although i had one where, you touch her, you take her (and no swap backs ), she's all yours!

[Julie]

I guess it depends on how much of a mate this guy is if you don't like him much go for it but be prepared to have him really pi$$ed at you and ready to kill you. Who would you rather lose the chick as a potential g/f or the mate? Weigh up which one of them is more important and then make your decision.

Personally I wouldn't go there, I sure you could find another girl. But in saying this I have no experience in this stuff, I married the same guy I have been with since I was 15 lol.

[STEALTHY™]

But in saying this I have no experience in this stuff, I married the same guy I have been with since I was 15 lol.

Wow! Thats rare for a couple that young to stay together. good effort!

[fabz]

Why dont you try to get a peice of these one nighters on the side??? Maybe shes keen for it and your mate will finally get over it? But then again nah i'd steer clear. Maybe just be her friend and try to hook up with her friend haha

[minux]

I'd steer clear..depends if you want to stay mates with this guy...besides if she is doing one nighters now(being under the influence makes no difference) can you trust her if your together?

[Thomas1]

What do people think about going for your good mates ex girlfriend? Ive heard different views from some people. Some say dont even go there you would be a bad friend to do that. And some just say if they're not together anymore then go for it.

My situation:

My good mate hasnt been with his ex for about a year. He didnt treat her very well during the break up. They have seen each other for one nighters every now and then though. I have been becoming good friends with her over the last year and am starting to really like her. Her best friend is trying to get us together and doesnt see a problem with it. I have no idea how my mate would react if I made a move on her and something happened. He hasnt been with her for a year but still sees her on the odd occasion as drunken one nighters.

What are your views?

This sounds so familiar

[azkwazere]

man... if you really like her, shes what you want, she amkes you happy, you think about her, you post **** on a internet site... im thinking you should go for it. Ask her... she says she likes you, tell your mate, if her cant deal with it, he aint a mate! simple!

hava go matey, i would!

dont worry about the one nighters... couples stay emotionally attached until they are replaced. If you knwo anything about computers, consider bit flagging, the data which is deleted remains on your harddrive until the bit is reassigned, it is simply unflagged. Same with GF's you still emotionally attached until she or you becomes reassigned and reflagged! She wants sex, he wants sex, they have done it before.... simple! it doesn't mean ****!

aZk says go!

aZk.

[impulsesv6]

bro's before hoe's

she's just using you to get at you mate still,

if they can bleed once a month and dont die, they must be evil!

[sircruisealotVS]

its just my personal opinion, so dont take it to heart. but i believe even thinking about a relationship with a good mates ex is very disrespectfull to your mate.
it wouldnt matter if they stopped going out 10 years ago, or 10 days, its a no fly-zone and comletely off limits.
there are certain respectfull boundaries good mates should observe between one-another and that is they should never mess around with - their girlfriend (current or ex), their sister(s), and potential girlfriends (girls you know that they like and are "courting").
think with your head and not with your....well you know, and you'll see that going after this girl is the wrong thing to do.

[shaggerz]

sounds far too complicated to work... a relationship is hard enough to manage without throwing in a whole heap of extra factors.

PMSL @ the bit flagging analogy... thats so funny aZk...

but no... seriously... steer clear of the whole thing I think. On the other hand... if you don't ask, you don't get! I see no harm in mentioning to your mate that you think she's a bit of alright and see how he reacts. He might be totally OK with you chasing her and you might end up wondering why you didn't just check with him sooner

but definitely don't go after the girl without your mates knowledge... sure fire way to lose a mate, and possibly even get decked in the process!

[calais_304]

what is wrong with people, stay away from this female bad news is stamped all over it! only hooking up while drunk LOL LOL LOL sorry but do you drink? if so then you'd know theres no excuse for what you do while drunk, does that mean when she gets pissed she'll run off to her ex?

be a mate and stay away, otherwise you may as well give him a boot to the nuts while you trying to take his girl. (i know they broke up but why is she still screwing him ey)

mates don't touch other mates g/f or ex/gf's there is no time limit on it you just don't do it unless you don't respect your mates.