How do you handle Salespeople & Bible Bashers Knocking on your door

[Rhino Racing]

As the name says.... How do you deal with them????
I work shift work and i am amazed at the amount of people that come to your door in the middle of the day and try and preach the good word of the lord etc.
Yesterday i woke up to not just the door bell ringing but constant repeated thumping on the front door.
I flew out of bed thinking something is wrong, only to be greeted by two well dressed ladies in their 40s asking me if i had read Psalm 12 blah blah blah!
I said to them, i work night shift and you just woke me thankyou very much.
Reply " Oh, anyway, the bible states that god will remove all evil from the earth etc etc.
Me " Great, fantastic" i replied " maybe he will remove you for disturbing me... for i believe you are evil, i just want to sleep".
She flipped out.... i wish i had it on video! PMSL. The other lady was trying to calm her down but she lost it!
Over the years i have done several different things to them....
Nothing mean/ offensive , mainly funny.....

Dont get me wrong i believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion and i respect that........ just dont come to my home and try and convert/ extort me during my precious time off.
Tell me your stories and opinions plese!

[levymetal]

Yeah that's right mate, people can believe whatever they want to believe but when they start trying to force it onto you it becomes a problem for me. What makes them think that if they force me to join their religion it will make me want to? It just makes me hate it even more. Usually I just question everything they say and point out that it's wrong, like one lady said there will be no death in heaven and lions and human will all live in harmony and eat the plants... I told her that lions cannot live off plants because that is not what they were designed to eat, and they would not be able to digest it. She said in heaven things are different... BULL****. If things can magically change like that in heaven then why isn't it like that on earth.

[Emackulation]

Im 99% certain this has been covered before. Do a search.

[Jesterarts]

I had a elderly couple knock on my door once... i was bored so i thought i would humor them and seem all interested....

I was going good keeping a straight face till the old man farted...

The woman talking paused for a sec and then jst kept on like nothing happened...

I lost it at this point... lol

[minux]

I give bible bashers the same respect they give me by knocking on my door at 6am.

Always answer it naked. Yet to see god bothers here for 12 months since I last had to do it.

The moron TXU/Origin Curry munchers that get sent around get a polite **** off

[azkwazere]

I give bible bashers the same respect they give me by knocking on my door at 6am.

Always answer it naked. Yet to see god bothers here for 12 months since I last had to do it.

The moron TXU/Origin Curry munchers that get sent around get a polite **** off

haha thats gold

aZk.

[Not_An_Abba_Fan]

I had a couple of Mormons knock on my door a few years ago. Had them there for an hour debating their book against the Bible. In the end they knew they were fighting a losing battle and left.

JW's now have children door knocking. I made one girl cry, I think she was about 12 or 13, I said she obviously knew that according to them, God will only let 144 000 into heaven to be with him, and by now, wouldn't you think it was full? No amount of deeds will get her into heaven so she may as well sin like the rest of us.

[scrabet]

i got one a couple weekends ago and beacause my house bedrooms have doors to the outside its kinda hard to find the main door anyway they nocked on my door while i was inbed after work and ithough it was one of my little brothers so i ignored it but it didnt stop so i got up and open it and asked what they wanted and also leted them know that they woke me up and the guy said oh sory then continued talking, lucky for me the phone rang so i said i would be back to listen when i finish the call lol i they stood their for abotu 10 min

[Rhino Racing]

About 2 years ago i had a couple come into my shed in my backyard where i was welding... to me that was just straight out trespassing.
I had to think very rationally..... i had 2 choices
1) Open up the side door to shed and letthe two big german shepherds in for lunch!
2) Tell him i was busy , but would listen if he gave me a hand.
I chose option 2)
So they both start the whole charade and I listened intently, then I asked him to hold a piece of pipe while i welded it in place.
I ran a weld about 3 inches long while he held it.... he was watching the weld arc the whole time. (I didnt know this, poor bugger)
He yelled out that his eyes were sore and everything had gone dark when i stopped welding..... His wife ran over to help him beacuse he was staggering around.
I remember the sight of them walking back down the driveway feeling sorry for him, but had to chuckle to myself thinking.... now my brother YOU HAVE REALLY SEEN THE LIGHT!!!

[blueholden]

back in Sydney i had 2 come into my yard while i was working on my VH they were young and made a few coments about my car. I could see that they were looking at me they envied my "normal" life. So i turned the conversation and started telling them that they to could have a nice car if they gave up their church.

Then i invited them inside and offerd them a cone you should have seen them they nearly ran from from house and never came back.

these days thoe my mrs got caught the other week by some Johova's Witnesses and being a nurse she asked them about their no transfusion policy. Now they come back every thursday leaving her dvd's and reading material on bloodless hospitals.

[sixshooter]

I hide out of sight !

[stocky]

i open the pit and let them deal with the rancor

but seriously, i havent had to deal with any of them myself thankfully. hope it stays that way

[redcv6]

hahahaha i used to have a massive german shepard on a dog run, that was visible from the front door. one day i told 2 guys that came to the door that they have 30 seconds to get off my property before i release the dog then i held up the remote to a roller door........ i have never seen 2 people in suits run so fast

[88GreenVN]

Goes like this.

Hi i'm working at home at the moment. I charge $60.00 per hour. How much time would you like to buy?

"Oh none - your not here to spend money!"

Goodby.

Click. as door closes.

Resumes what ever one was doing before hand.

[VL_5SPEED]

I give bible bashers the same respect they give me by knocking on my door at 6am.

Always answer it naked. Yet to see god bothers here for 12 months since I last had to do it.

The moron TXU/Origin Curry munchers that get sent around get a polite **** off

hahahha

About 2 years ago i had a couple come into my shed in my backyard where i was welding... to me that was just straight out trespassing.
I had to think very rationally..... i had 2 choices
1) Open up the side door to shed and letthe two big german shepherds in for lunch!
2) Tell him i was busy , but would listen if he gave me a hand.
I chose option 2)
So they both start the whole charade and I listened intently, then I asked him to hold a piece of pipe while i welded it in place.
I ran a weld about 3 inches long while he held it.... he was watching the weld arc the whole time. (I didnt know this, poor bugger)
He yelled out that his eyes were sore and everything had gone dark when i stopped welding..... His wife ran over to help him beacuse he was staggering around.
I remember the sight of them walking back down the driveway feeling sorry for him, but had to chuckle to myself thinking.... now my brother YOU HAVE REALLY SEEN THE LIGHT!!!

Baahahahha what a retard he probs went to the hospital after after that lmfao

back in Sydney i had 2 come into my yard while i was working on my VH they were young and made a few coments about my car. I could see that they were looking at me they envied my "normal" life. So i turned the conversation and started telling them that they to could have a nice car if they gave up their church.

Then i invited them inside and offerd them a cone you should have seen them they nearly ran from from house and never came back.

these days thoe my mrs got caught the other week by some Johova's Witnesses and being a nurse she asked them about their no transfusion policy. Now they come back every thursday leaving her dvd's and reading material on bloodless hospitals.

AHAHAHAHHAHH that funny, to bad them silly Christians used to smoke pot back in the day LOL!


God damn do I hate religion!!!!!! They should make it illegal. Isnt kevin rudd a big church person? ****ing faggot.

[levymetal]

he was watching the weld arc the whole time.

lol now if god really existed he would have told the man that you never watch someone weld... ahahahaha

[Kikki]

A simple

Open door

"No thanks not interested"

Close door.... it works.

To stop them knocking put a sign on your door saying "Shift worker DO NOT disturb" the guy nextdoor does and they always avoid his house.

[vlv8vic]

God damn do I hate religion!!!!!! They should make it illegal. Isnt kevin rudd a big church person? ****ing faggot.

Who are 'they'? Yes, Kevin goes to church. He is not a homosexual though. Sorry.

[Rufus®]

Don't have a problem with religious type persons, it's the friggin optus and foxtel sales asslicks that **** me.... no means ****ing no!!!!! Until you can give me a better deal than i am on, go get ****ed, i don't have time for your butt munching ****!!

[nicko]

if they come to my door i hide. If they catch me off gaurd and i have to talk to them i tell them that i will read their book if they read mine. Then hand them a people or playboy magazine.

[VL_5SPEED]

I usually tell them to fakk off, Mum just says we are not a Christian family and then they usually just throw pamphlets at her telling her to read them. My dad is a full anti religion person and always gets right up them abusing them and questioning there religion... And that dude with the harry potter wand what made trees and animals and water and all that crap....

[Rhino Racing]

To stop them knocking put a sign on your door saying "Shift worker DO NOT disturb" the guy nextdoor does and they always avoid his house.

I have a cardboard pistol target on my front door ( has area around the bullseye completely shot out but two stray rounds in the white)that says something like this.
To all mormons, sales persons seventh day adventists and burgulars... COME ON IN..... I NEED THE PRACTICE! (Arrow points to 2 stray rounds)
We had a chick that was delivering pizza here once that would not knock on the door..... she radioed back to the shop and they rang me...Poor girl!

[Astranomical]

Lol, we live in the country, and anyway, one day back when I was a teenager, my parents went into town and left me at home by myself for the day, so I could have the house to myself and do whatever. Anyway, mum told me that some bible bashers were probably going to come, and to not let them in the house, blah blah blah. Anyway, they leave, and half an hour later I come out the front of the house, and stickytape a sign I made up on the computer saying, "**** OFF!!!!" to the verandah railing, which I was going to leave on for the entire morning.

They never came a-knocking.....:lol:

[Wombat]

My late father was married twice. His first wife died young from a bad flu (this was in the early 1950's), and his second wife is my mother. He used to love the Jehovahs Witnesses coming to the door...he would give them 20 cents and buy The Watchtower magazine, just for somethign to read. Anyway, two exchanges (quite polite, nothing angry or shouty) I heard, was first, the two JH's said "in the afterlife in Gods paradise, you will be reunited with lost loved ones, old relationships will be renewed". My father said "Hmm...my first wife died, so will I be together with her in heaven, or marriage renewed?" They said yes, of course. Then my old man said "Well, what happens with my current wife? Does that mean in heaven I will be a bigamist? I'll be a sinner breaking the law won't I?" They didn't know what to say...
The second one was where they show pictures of people in paradise after the end of the world when the good people have all gone to heaven...usually they are working happily in fields tilling the soil, working on idealised farms, baskets of produce under thier arms...my old man said "Jesus, I worked since I was 12 on the farm, until I retired when I was 65...you mean after all that, when I die, I have to start working again!?"

The one "angry" encounter I saw was with my mother and some JH's. They were explaining the church (or cult) beliefs, and mentioned they don't believe in blood transfusions...my mother burred up and said "when my son was born, if we both hadn't had massive blood transfusions, we'd both be dead...would God have preferred we both die?"

Seriously, I'd love to turn up at the door naked...

[Cobez]

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