pornography- Open with caution, adult discussion possibly not work/family safe

[metalfossil]

I'm just wondering if other JC members have any opinions in regards to pornography?

I feel sufficently comfortable here to do a little soul bareing. I'm nearly fifty and have been viewing porn since I was around eleven or twelve. I was introduced to hardcore stuff at my very first fulltime job when I was fifteen.

Lately it has been a big problem in my life since my sixteen year old daughter was attempting to ferret something from the Re-cycle bin and discovered my latest stash. My wife(who knows of my problem) was ropeable; I've promised her on numerous occasions to give it up.

I have now realised that I'm addicted to this stuff and was like an emu with its head in the sand regarding its effects on my life andf its effects on my wife. For instance, on my day off sometimes I would be so unsettled and couldn't finish any task I'd start during the day. In the end, I'd end up on the net surfing for porn. My wife, of course, thinks it must be her; the way she looks, her weight....

Currently, I'm abstaining (28 days) and rediscovering who I really am.

Thanks for listening.

[Jecs]

hahahahahahahahaha omg, im so givin you rep points!

[Emackulation]

Looking at porn isnt a problem, not finishing a talk to look at porn is something a 15yr old boy would do lol. If you dont want your daughter to see it then make sure you delete it properly next time lol. Sif your wife dosnt let you look at porn, what kind of relationship is that?

[1991_Vn2nV]

I dunno how you can abstain for 28 days from porn.

I can't last a week. Damn the internet and damn adsl..

[metalfossil]

I dunno how you can abstain for 28 days from porn.

I can't last a week. Damn the internet and damn adsl..

.....exactly. I had nearly eighty gig of downloaded vids!

[fnlow1]

If its an addiction perhaps consider seeking some professional help. Much better than damaging your relationship with wife and daughter. Probably a good idea to explain to the wife its got nothing to do with her looks etc. I'm sure she will understand if you explain to her that you realise its a problem and you have a plan to make things change.
Goodluck.

[minux]

I am curious as to what exactly people find interesting about porn? the few bits and pieces I have seen was disgraceful.

Why do people have a NEED to look at it, is your love life that boring? Might i suggest counselling?
It is terrible that your daughter had to come across this crap.

I hope you can sort this issue out, for your families sake.

[metalfossil]

I am curious as to what exactly people find interesting about porn? the few bits and pieces I have seen was disgraceful.

Why do people have a NEED to look at it, is your love life that boring? Might i suggest counselling?
It is terrible that your daughter had to come across this crap.

I hope you can sort this issue out, for your families sake.

Thanks Minux. I've been down this awful rd for a long time. My wife is a bloody great woman and very beautiful. Nothing wrong with our love either. Porn is an addiction and according to everthing I've read worse than crack. I kid you not. I've been fighting it for a long, long time.

Thankfully my wife was at the computer at the time and my daughter didn't see any of it.

Any of you out there that thinks porn is ok. Think of this, is it something you would do in front of other people? It's a hidden epidemic and it destroys lots of relationships

[metalfossil]

If its an addiction perhaps consider seeking some professional help. Much better than damaging your relationship with wife and daughter. Probably a good idea to explain to the wife its got nothing to do with her looks etc. I'm sure she will understand if you explain to her that you realise its a problem and you have a plan to make things change.
Goodluck.

Thanks

No, I've tried that. Most women that are involved in this with their husbands/partners feel the same way as my wife. There is also something called the 'Pornography Paradox' that affects most relationships. While the addict feels the burden of guilt taken away because of his disclosure and a new found insight. His wife/partner thinks that all this time they've never been good enough; obviously as their significant other would rather look at cold sterile images...

[Cobez]

Porn doesn't really do it for me to tell you the honest truth. Once in a while if someone gets a dirty email at work we will stand around and have a quick squizz, make a few funny comments then get back to work.


The REAL thing does it for me. I don't need porn, i have a friend with benefits and i hang out with her as friends and for more.


But yeah, i'd definantly say get some professional help mate. But good on you for having the balls to say it publicly and admit you have a problem. At least you aren't denying it. Shows that you have character mate! Good luck!

[Kikki]

Well as a wife/female I don't like it, it makes me feel insecure. I also don't like the woman who do it, to me it is them who are giving men the right to act like filth towards females.

The thing is, the way I see it, a male looking at porn isn't getting what he needs in the bedroom, or the attention he needs etc (dont think I'm saying your wife fails in the room because you have been looking at it a long time) but if by chance Craig was to go out and start looking at hardcore material, then I would have a good think, and fix it, as in spice things up a bit. To me porn is for those who don't have a partner, or those who are under 18 and still giggle at the sight of boobies. I am lucky that Craig was never big on porn in the first place, the odd magazine & a couple of videos, which are now gone. I will buy him the odd magazine, but its only "Picture" and nothing else, nothing hard core anyways. He is not allowed to look at it on the net, mainly because our PC is in a central spot in the house, and I don't want my kids exposed to it, also because last time he did we ended up with a virus on the pc. He is happy with that.

Good on you for seeing that you have a problem, I think there is a fine line between just looking and addiction, and seeing that it is effecting your relationship with your wife, Hope it all works out for you, good luck!

[stocky]

Well as a wife/female I don't like it, it makes me feel insecure. I also don't like the woman who do it, to me it is them who are giving men the right to act like filth towards females.

acting like filth? dunno what kind of porn youve been exposed to, but there are many things that happen in these videos are things many couples do anyway. so simply because theres a camera there, its filthy?

[1991_Vn2nV]

The thing is, the way I see it, a male looking at porn isn't getting what he needs in the bedroom, or the attention he needs etc (dont think I'm saying your wife fails in the room because you have been looking at it a long time) but if by chance Craig was to go out and start looking at hardcore material, then I would have a good think, and fix it, as in spice things up a bit. To me porn is for those who don't have a partner, or those who are under 18 and still giggle at the sight of boobies. I am lucky that Craig was never big on porn in the first place, the odd magazine & a couple of videos, which are now gone. I will buy him the odd magazine, but its only "Picture" and nothing else, nothing hard core anyways. He is not allowed to look at it on the net, mainly because our PC is in a central spot in the house, and I don't want my kids exposed to it, also because last time he did we ended up with a virus on the pc. He is happy with that.

I think it is also dependant on sex drive. Some guys (indeed girls also) have a sex drive that is very hard to fulfill for many partners.

If Craig was looking at hardcore material, and the reason was because one of his 'needs' is to get it atleast twice a day, every day... Would you fix it then? No matter your response, most partners would not.

[Grennan]

Dunno when i was a teenager i kinda went and looked at it, as most teenagers do, but i grew out of it by the time i was 17-18. I didnt, and today dont feel like i need to go look at it because frankly i get what i need elsewhere.

I am still...introduced...to the material however, i have a few mates who lets say just say are very immature, they have the need to talk about porn (one pornstar in particular really) every chance they get. Even their mobile phones are loaded.

[Shounak]

My gf stays at mine 5 days of the week and I still watch porn. It has nothing to do with not getting laid or not getting enough.

It's just a different form of pleasure. It's like choosing between BJ's and homeruns, one or the other. One may be preferable to the other, but most people would want a mixture of both, rather than one of the other.

Does porn take over my life? Hell no. Has it ever come betwen my gf + me. Hell no.

Quite the opposite in fact. My gf loves it and we do sometimes watch it together. Believe me when I say it has the same effect on chicks, provided its reasonably tasteful.

None of my exes have had a problem with it either. If they did, I would've sent them packing. Not because it means I can't watch it, but because I loathe insecure chicks.

[vnv8driver]

I'm just wondering if other JC members have any opinions in regards to pornography?

I feel sufficently comfortable here to do a little soul bareing. I'm nearly fifty and have been viewing porn since I was around eleven or twelve. I was introduced to hardcore stuff at my very first fulltime job when I was fifteen.

Lately it has been a big problem in my life since my sixteen year old daughter was attempting to ferret something from the Re-cycle bin and discovered my latest stash. My wife(who knows of my problem) was ropeable; I've promised her on numerous occasions to give it up.

I have now realised that I'm addicted to this stuff and was like an emu with its head in the sand regarding its effects on my life andf its effects on my wife. For instance, on my day off sometimes I would be so unsettled and couldn't finish any task I'd start during the day. In the end, I'd end up on the net surfing for porn. My wife, of course, thinks it must be her; the way she looks, her weight....

Currently, I'm abstaining (28 days) and rediscovering who I really am.

Thanks for listening.

mate having a peek at porn, having a tug and the like are meant for relaxation purposes, its completely normal. there are a few deviots i know which would look at a baby breast feeding on a t i t and sh1t like that which is too much for me, by in all honesty i have a perfectly good looking g/f but still look at the odd pic and video, she found out once and said exactly what your wife said..... im fat, you dont like me, im ugly, you dont want to sate me anymore etc ect ...well you know what i mean!!!

me personally, i am faithful to my gf but dont mind the look of someone differant you dont see naked everyday (must be gorgeous!). also when im too tired for a root ill look at a mag or the net..haha

[Jesterarts]

In the wise words of Randy from southpark:

"Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths, you can't exactly go back to Playboy!"

lol.

I look at porn when im bored or just randomly...

Its nothing all that taboo or exciting anymore... it's like watching an MTV music video just with the chick in it taking the works more literally... key word "taking" lol

[metalfossil]

mate having a peek at porn, having a tug and the like are meant for relaxation purposes, its completely normal. there are a few deviots i know which would look at a baby breast feeding on a t i t and sh1t like that which is too much for me, by in all honesty i have a perfectly good looking g/f but still look at the odd pic and video, she found out once and said exactly what your wife said..... im fat, you dont like me, im ugly, you dont want to sate me anymore etc ect ...well you know what i mean!!!

me personally, i am faithful to my gf but dont mind the look of someone differant you dont see naked everyday (must be gorgeous!). also when im too tired for a root ill look at a mag or the net..haha

Yeah, all excuses I've used over and over again. However, when it is all consuming and it gets in the way of just about every aspect of your life; including risking ones job, it has become more than a 'peek at porn and having a tug for relaxation purposes'. Not having a go mate, just check the evidence out there in netland. It's destroying heaps of rellationships. Do you realise that at least 80% of websites are porn related?

[Emackulation]

My gf stays at mine 5 days of the week and I still watch porn. It has nothing to do with not getting laid or not getting enough.

It's just a different form of pleasure. It's like choosing between BJ's and homeruns, one or the other. One may be preferable to the other, but most people would want a mixture of both, rather than one of the other.

Does porn take over my life? Hell no. Has it ever come betwen my gf + me. Hell no.

Quite the opposite in fact. My gf loves it and we do sometimes watch it together. Believe me when I say it has the same effect on chicks, provided its reasonably tasteful.

None of my exes have had a problem with it either. If they did, I would've sent them packing. Not because it means I can't watch it, but because I loathe insecure chicks.

Im the same, same situation, lastnight the gf even put some porn on for us.

[Julie]

Personally I find porn hilarious, I don't know how people get off on it all that fake moaning and groaning and homosexual looking blokes makes me laugh at how lame it is.

The porn on the computer that kids have access to is a bit of a worry. My 8 yr old daughter has a pc in her room that we also use and we have a laptop. With my daughter's computer we have set it up so that she has her own user profile (I dunno I think thats what its called) anyway she has all her games on there and has internet access but only to a bunch of pre approved kid safe sites that we allow. The other profile my husband and I use to look at whatever we want which is not exactly porn but sometimes we do get the odd email with a funny dirty pic or browse sites that I don't want an 8 year old looking at siet like ebay or google I don't want her having access to unsupervised.

[Kikki]

acting like filth? dunno what kind of porn youve been exposed to, but there are many things that happen in these videos are things many couples do anyway. so simply because theres a camera there, its filthy?

What I am saying is it can be degrading, you have a look around the net and see that there are girls advertised at being 16, yeah ok legal to have sex, but then you have 40 year old plus blokes who go out and see a 16 year old and think they have the right to try and root her.....

A 16 year old can be mature enough to make the correct decision, but in most cases they don't.

[AirStrike]

My gf stays at mine 5 days of the week and I still watch porn. It has nothing to do with not getting laid or not getting enough.

It's just a different form of pleasure. It's like choosing between BJ's and homeruns, one or the other. One may be preferable to the other, but most people would want a mixture of both, rather than one of the other.

Does porn take over my life? Hell no. Has it ever come betwen my gf + me. Hell no.

Quite the opposite in fact. My gf loves it and we do sometimes watch it together. Believe me when I say it has the same effect on chicks, provided its reasonably tasteful.

None of my exes have had a problem with it either. If they did, I would've sent them packing. Not because it means I can't watch it, but because I loathe insecure chicks.

Agree 100% mate!!

[Shounak]

What I am saying is it can be degrading, you have a look around the net and see that there are girls advertised at being 16, yeah ok legal to have sex, but then you have 40 year old plus blokes who go out and see a 16 year old and think they have the right to try and root her.....

A 16 year old can be mature enough to make the correct decision, but in most cases they don't.

Always blaming the guy. If a 16 year old has consentual sex with a 40 year old, that's ok (assuming the age of consent is 16). If a 50 year old screws an 18 year old, that's ok.

As long as the girl is willing, then what's wrong with it? It's perfectly legal and an 18 year old girl can screw whoever the hell she wants, she doesn't need you telling her who she can or cannot do.

I'd be ****ed off if you told me that I'm not allowed to screw 50 year old women. Boy would I be furious.

As for the degrading, it's supply to the demand. I'd much rather guys did it in fantasy than raping chicks. Ie. I'd much prefer a guy jacked off to rape or kiddie porn, rather than raping and child molesting. The people who watch those types of porno's are usually not the type of people who actually offend. They're the ones very ashamed and porn is all they have.

My crim lecture was an ex cop and worked in sex crimes. Now she's writing her PhD on child molesters in jail. Watching kiddie porn does not make you a kiddie fiddler, regardless of how reprehensible it may seem to you and I.

[padrickz88]

LOOOL porn isnt a problem, i watch it all the time but i never have the urge to stop all my plans and go home and watch it...

sometimes im in the mood, sometimes not.... only place i have it is on my computer, but i have a fair bit of it... refuse to put it on my phone or have mags sitting around in my room...

but meh! im pretty open about it and dont see a problem with it

p.s who likes bangbus? LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO

[Emackulation]

Twistys ftw.