pornography- Open with caution, adult discussion possibly not work/family safe

[metalfossil]

I'm just wondering if other JC members have any opinions in regards to pornography?

I feel sufficently comfortable here to do a little soul bareing. I'm nearly fifty and have been viewing porn since I was around eleven or twelve. I was introduced to hardcore stuff at my very first fulltime job when I was fifteen.

Lately it has been a big problem in my life since my sixteen year old daughter was attempting to ferret something from the Re-cycle bin and discovered my latest stash. My wife(who knows of my problem) was ropeable; I've promised her on numerous occasions to give it up.

I have now realised that I'm addicted to this stuff and was like an emu with its head in the sand regarding its effects on my life andf its effects on my wife. For instance, on my day off sometimes I would be so unsettled and couldn't finish any task I'd start during the day. In the end, I'd end up on the net surfing for porn. My wife, of course, thinks it must be her; the way she looks, her weight....

Currently, I'm abstaining (28 days) and rediscovering who I really am.

Thanks for listening.

[Jecs]

hahahahahahahahaha omg, im so givin you rep points!

[Mack]

Looking at porn isnt a problem, not finishing a talk to look at porn is something a 15yr old boy would do lol. If you dont want your daughter to see it then make sure you delete it properly next time lol. Sif your wife dosnt let you look at porn, what kind of relationship is that?

[1991_Vn2nV]

I dunno how you can abstain for 28 days from porn.

I can't last a week. Damn the internet and damn adsl..

[metalfossil]

Originally Posted by 1991_Vn2nV

I dunno how you can abstain for 28 days from porn.

I can't last a week. Damn the internet and damn adsl..

.....exactly. I had nearly eighty gig of downloaded vids!

[fnlow1]

If its an addiction perhaps consider seeking some professional help. Much better than damaging your relationship with wife and daughter. Probably a good idea to explain to the wife its got nothing to do with her looks etc. I'm sure she will understand if you explain to her that you realise its a problem and you have a plan to make things change.
Goodluck.

[minux]

I am curious as to what exactly people find interesting about porn? the few bits and pieces I have seen was disgraceful.

Why do people have a NEED to look at it, is your love life that boring? Might i suggest counselling?
It is terrible that your daughter had to come across this crap.

I hope you can sort this issue out, for your families sake.

[metalfossil]

Originally Posted by minux

I am curious as to what exactly people find interesting about porn? the few bits and pieces I have seen was disgraceful.

Why do people have a NEED to look at it, is your love life that boring? Might i suggest counselling?
It is terrible that your daughter had to come across this crap.

I hope you can sort this issue out, for your families sake.

Thanks Minux. I've been down this awful rd for a long time. My wife is a bloody great woman and very beautiful. Nothing wrong with our love either. Porn is an addiction and according to everthing I've read worse than crack. I kid you not. I've been fighting it for a long, long time.

Thankfully my wife was at the computer at the time and my daughter didn't see any of it.

Any of you out there that thinks porn is ok. Think of this, is it something you would do in front of other people? It's a hidden epidemic and it destroys lots of relationships

[metalfossil]

Originally Posted by fnlow1

If its an addiction perhaps consider seeking some professional help. Much better than damaging your relationship with wife and daughter. Probably a good idea to explain to the wife its got nothing to do with her looks etc. I'm sure she will understand if you explain to her that you realise its a problem and you have a plan to make things change.
Goodluck.

Thanks

No, I've tried that. Most women that are involved in this with their husbands/partners feel the same way as my wife. There is also something called the 'Pornography Paradox' that affects most relationships. While the addict feels the burden of guilt taken away because of his disclosure and a new found insight. His wife/partner thinks that all this time they've never been good enough; obviously as their significant other would rather look at cold sterile images...

[Cobez]

Porn doesn't really do it for me to tell you the honest truth. Once in a while if someone gets a dirty email at work we will stand around and have a quick squizz, make a few funny comments then get back to work.


The REAL thing does it for me. I don't need porn, i have a friend with benefits and i hang out with her as friends and for more.


But yeah, i'd definantly say get some professional help mate. But good on you for having the balls to say it publicly and admit you have a problem. At least you aren't denying it. Shows that you have character mate! Good luck!

[Macca&Mrs]

Well as a wife/female I don't like it, it makes me feel insecure. I also don't like the woman who do it, to me it is them who are giving men the right to act like filth towards females.

The thing is, the way I see it, a male looking at porn isn't getting what he needs in the bedroom, or the attention he needs etc (dont think I'm saying your wife fails in the room because you have been looking at it a long time) but if by chance Craig was to go out and start looking at hardcore material, then I would have a good think, and fix it, as in spice things up a bit. To me porn is for those who don't have a partner, or those who are under 18 and still giggle at the sight of boobies. I am lucky that Craig was never big on porn in the first place, the odd magazine & a couple of videos, which are now gone. I will buy him the odd magazine, but its only "Picture" and nothing else, nothing hard core anyways. He is not allowed to look at it on the net, mainly because our PC is in a central spot in the house, and I don't want my kids exposed to it, also because last time he did we ended up with a virus on the pc. He is happy with that.

Good on you for seeing that you have a problem, I think there is a fine line between just looking and addiction, and seeing that it is effecting your relationship with your wife, Hope it all works out for you, good luck!

[stocky]

Originally Posted by Christie