relationships, and people's partner's.

[sv9946]

looking for advice guys and girls.

recently i just turned 18, and got my licence. unfortunately a large majority of my friends are all under 18, been that only me and one other mate are 18.
my cousin who i'm on speaking terms and that it said a smart remark the other day that made me think "my god, what the f%ck is wrong me, or what am i doing so wrong"

i'm not having any luck with my love life......at all. i don't bother looking on the internet as i was brought up with my family thinking thats the kind of thing a desperate guy would do. i haven't had a girlfriend in so long its not funny (primary school rings a bell) since i left school at the end of year nine, and started working in rural victoria at my old man's car dealership i lost contact with lots of people my age, and now have no idea how to get a nice girl, or even where to find one. i find myself lacking in confidence, even though i see guys mistreat girls in way's i never could. which makes me think, how do they get the girls, that i can't even find?


i'm a intellegant young bloke, who scored relatively high marks in every subject i've ever done. i done every accelerated learning program i could get access to, but it just wasn't for me, i was good at it, but had no interest in that kind of life. i'm not lacking in cash to take a girl to a fancy restaurant and pay for it, nor take her for a helicopter ride of whatever it may be. i always open doors, lift heavy objects or whatever for women, and would like to think i'm extremely curteous, etc. i would really like a girlfriend, not to show off with, but to have someone for those lonely nights, lol. when i to a mates party of whatever, and see every guy my age there with a girl, it makes me feel a bad person?

i know other people have trouble in this area, and are embarassed to speak up about it. so this is not only for me on here. i would like to think the only reason is because i'm not going out enough, and thats cause i don't know where to go? i don't smoke, drink, or eat un-healthy. i dress well, and i'm not fat as such (weighing a tad over 50kg last time i checked) just after idea's as to what i may be doing wrong (women on here, please help out lol) or where to go as going to clubs and pubs does't interest me a lot. i work hard and start early so going to a club to drink into 3 in the morning is not a good idea, and need to be sober for work.

i haven't checked this post over, so excuse any wrong spelling grammer etc, otherwise i may decide not to post it. it took a few other forum members to convince me to go this far.

cheers , appreciate any help given. post rep given for useful info!

[Ozzie]

When it comes to "meeting" people on the internet I wouldnt recommend using any dating sites. Dating sites are there to make money just like any other business/company and are not designed to get you a partner but to actually keep you on their site.

MSN used to be a good program to meet people from the net, though now there are no rooms you will find it hard to meet people unless their friends of friends ect...
There is also Yahoo but its full of skanks you dont wanna know.

I would recommend you check out Paltalk Messenger. Paltalk is free for you to roam and there are rooms created by australians. I actually met my missus on Paltalk 2 years ago and we now have a little girl together.

Off the internet it is harder to be yourself. The key to any relationship or friendship is to be yourself.
You could try clubbing but sometimes thats the best environment to meet skanks anyway.
Your best bet is to find a friend who is female, and that female friend should have more female friends ect ect...

Hope this helps in some way

[andyman]

great courage on writing this up matt,

ill admit im basically in the same shoes as you, i wouldnt mind a girl but seem to lack the courage to front up and meet,

although these are a couple of points that may lead to my demise,

1, im goofy,
2, im tight, so if i buy dinner she might have to buy the next,
3, i seem to theink about things to much
4, i do alot of family and work activities, so i dont want some snobbie girl that dosnt want to interact - bit hard in my area lol
5, i dont go out often because of #2, but i dont mind going drinking with mates etc,

andrew

[danja]

Well, firstly good on you for having the guts to go out on a limb and ask for advice - you're certainly not the only person who has woman worries so I wouldn't be feeling lonely in that regard.

By the sounds of it you're a decent guy, you made a comment about girls sticking with guys who mistreat them, it happens a lot and most of it comes down to charisma. Said guys often have an abundance of confidence/charm, and that's a well known attractor for guys and girls alike. It can make a girl stick around long past the due by date - but don't worry too much about that, hopefully you don't want to be like them per se.

Perhaps stating the obvious, but it sounds like you need to meet more girls! Personally most of my girlfriends I've met through friends, friends of friends etc. Parties are sometimes good for this, I'm not a clubbing person either, pubs are Ok, but you don't often meet girls your age there. I had great relationship with a girl who I met online, not through a dating site but on MSN - I said to one of my friends "Hey I think I'm in the market for a girlfriend again, can you send me a random single girl from your list?" , we hit it off and in a few months we were dating. I also know people who've tried events like Desperate & Dateless ( DndBall - Homepage ) and done well for it!

No matter where you end up looking though, there will be times that you have to go out on a limb and make yourself vulnerable, like asking for a phone number, or just introducing yourself to a stranger. Sometimes you'll win, sometimes you'll loose, don't let it get to you - just swallow your pride and try again (with a different girl ).

Try and work on the confidence, the more difficult situations you put yourself into the more you'll learn and the quicker you'll find your feet.

Best of luck to ya!

[Ozzie]

Dont worry andy theres someone for everyone!

and if you cant find that someone right now just pick a temporary skank

[88GreenVN]

The VE ute should have worked .......

[Ozzie]

The VE ute should have worked .......

This may suprise you all BUT

the chicks nowdays seem to dig the XR's

whats this world commin to

[andyman]

Dont worry andy theres someone for everyone!

and if you cant find that someone right now just pick a temporary skank

thats what i dont want to do, i hate girls that are like your mine and you cant do anything without me kind of thing, i want the kind of cool girl tha'll come along camping, isnt into big makeup and shiz everyday, just an ezy going girl that not huge maintainace

[Cobez]

Hey man, as already stated, good on you for having the guts to ask about it. I was in the same boat, had plenty of girlfriends when i was younger, then had like 3 years with nothing and now i have a gorgeous girlfriend i am too happy with!

Just keep searching man, because the ones you hook up with and find quickly, are generally the ones who will do your head in. Going out to clubs etc isn't ALWAYS a good move, as alot of girls who regular clubs etc are skanks out for just a shag, or out for free drinks etc. I didn't even meet my chicky out at a club, she was a friend of a friend who happened to be at my friends house one night and we got along like a house on fire as our personalitys are very similar, we like the same music, cars, movies etc etc etc.

It can take a long time mate, but there is someone for everyone. Chin up dude!!

[danja]

although these are a couple of points that may lead to my demise,

1, im goofy,
2, im tight, so if i buy dinner she might have to buy the next,
3, i seem to theink about things to much
4, i do alot of family and work activities, so i dont want some snobbie girl that dosnt want to interact - bit hard in my area lol
5, i dont go out often because of #2, but i dont mind going drinking with mates etc,

andrew

It's all about spin mate

1. You're not goofy, you have character
2. You're not tight, you're financially responsible - plus most girls don't expect you to pay for everything. Spend a bit at the beginning of the relationship, but if you're still paying for everything after a month or two, there are issues.
3. Girls do this too, it may actually work in your favour. It might also drive you completely insane though, so just watch it a bit.
4. So broaden your horizons! I used to date a girl from the other side of Sydney, it was a 90min drive to her house - if you're willing (or better yet, if she can drive too) there's no reason not to look further.
5. Girls are cheap to get drunk - not that it's always a good idea to aim for that. I find it tends to happen by accident.

Can you tell I work in a marketing division?

[Ozzie]

thats what i dont want to do, i hate girls that are like your mine and you cant do anything without me kind of thing, i want the kind of cool girl tha'll come along camping, isnt into big makeup and shiz everyday, just an ezy going girl that not huge maintainace

ll trade you my missus for a carton of VB
im keepen my kid though

[Joe Peeps]

One thing women like is confidence. all the successes i ever had happened when i was feeling good about myself and just went up and spoke to a woman - but the crucial thing is that you approach them with no intention of hitting on them, just a friendly exchange. you cant be seen to be trying - if they sense desperation your a goner. i suggest next time your at a party/bar/etc just talk to random people. the success is gauranteed in time but in the meantime realise that droughts are inevitable and be happy in thine self (as cliche as it sounds its the truth)

Be yourself and the good times are inevitable.

Peace and love

[cxcxcxvcvcvc]

I dunno heaps mate but i have been with my missus for 8 years (married for 3) but i think it comes down to a few things mate like being yourself, and being able to make your partner laugh or better yet having a laugh with your partner if ya get my drift lol, If i can be honest here and this is not to have a dig @ you mate but you sound very unconfident with yourself & to women that reeks insecurity witch is a major turn off for all women, They want to be with a bloke who can take care of himself & her without being a macho wanker, if i was you mate i would join a local gym, build up some confidence and go out to a few nice places with your mates, and try to have a good time, and just be yourself ect if you see a girl you like mate then walk over and say g,day (not in a sleezy way lol) Just in a friendly manner, she will let you know if she is not interested and if you get rejected mate then don't stress, there's plenty of fish in the see Also By the way you have spoken you sound like you know how to take care of a lady, so just have some confidence in yourself mate and the rest will fall into place
P.s you have a V8 ute so you have one foot in the door

[SAV_117]

all good advise also dont leave your self open either

[eurekamad94]

if i might add to this if your nervous people usually find you as boring so just try and be fun and confident chicks are attracted to it *wink*

[Julie]

I'm going to be brutally honest here... Are you attractive? I ask this because for a great deal of the female population around your age thats about all that matters. They will not be interested in how intelligent, gentlemanly or successful you are if you have a head like a smashed pumpkin. Most girls at this age are shallow. I'm not saying its right they are just too immature to look beyond physical appearances. If thats the case the only advise I can give you is to just get on with your life and wait til you meet the right girl, it might take a few years but at least you will be with someone who likes you for you and not how you look. Or maybe lower your standards, go and chat to a beauty challenged young lady, she meay be in the same boat and you can live happily ever after like shrek and princess fiona.

[minux]

I'm going to be brutally honest here... Are you attractive? I ask this because for a great deal of the female population around your age thats about all that matters. They will not be interested in how intelligent, gentlemanly or successful you are if you have a head like a smashed pumpkin. Most girls at this age are shallow. I'm not saying its right they are just too immature to look beyond physical appearances. If thats the case the only advise I can give you is to just get on with your life and wait til you meet the right girl, it might take a few years but at least you will be with someone who likes you for you and not how you look. Or maybe lower your standards, go and chat to a beauty challenged young lady, she meay be in the same boat and you can live happily ever after like shrek and princess fiona.

I was going to ask the same.

The only way to get past looks is via the net, if people get to know what your like, they bypass looks...heck my mrs is hot and I look like something that escaped the abortion bucket!! So the net does work

[alien]

2. You're not tight, you're financially responsible - plus most girls don't expect you to pay for everything. Spend a bit at the beginning of the relationship, but if you're still paying for everything after a month or two, there are issues.

LOL, a girl i'm interested in is finding it frustrating that i'm always paying for things LOL and then i help her out and expect nothing. She's offered to buy me dinners many times (and she knows i'm not a cheap eater). But i'm the kinda guy that wont let chicks do that.

I'm kinda in the same boat, except ive had gfs all through high school and i've lost count of the girls i've dated, but none of them were really right. Only one it got kinda serious with and then that ****ed up. And now i'm single again. But like many people have said, dont just jump into a relationship. And DEFINATLY dont judge just based on looks, make sure the personality is right or it wont last.

vssenator69, you and me kinda sound similar, with only you having less ex's, which means your living better than me! However, if you just want a **** then your going about it the wrong way, if you actually want someone who cares and will be with you then give it some time and i respect you.

And your not really that far out of the city, hell, your only a 52 minute drive away from me. You've got friends on JC, come to cruises and you'll make friends around your age and then by keeping those friends you might find someone they know who you actaully CLICK with.

Anyways, enough blabbering from me.

[SAV_117]

haha julie that was rough sounds like your calling him shrek haha

[Cobez]

Hahaha yep, i'm the same, my chicky HATES when i pay for stuff, and vice versa. It's gets irritating sometimes.

[Julie]

haha julie that was rough sounds like your calling him shrek haha

Not at all, I am asking if he looks like shrek- if so theres the reason for his problem. He may be a hottie for all I know lol

Shreks cool anyway

[SAV_117]

hahaha maybe he should ask thats what i did went up to a girl in a club and i said looks wise whats wrong wit me she looked at me hesitated than said face isnt too bad youve done your hair nice u could have a shave but u need to work on that tummy its not to bad but a few situps wouldnt hurt than she smacked me on the ass and as she was walking away she said thats ok though (btw this did not work the first time hahahaha)

[Julie]

This may suprise you all BUT

the chicks nowdays seem to dig the XR's

whats this world commin to

I'd take an XR8 (BA upwards) over a VE any day!

[LightningVP]

You'r in the same boat as alot of guys mate, I have only had one main relationship and find it hard to communicate with other women, I grew up basically by myself so I never learnt many "people" skills, but over the last how ever many months, being around people all the time it gets easier to talk to girls. I don't want to make it sound like a game, or something like that but "practice" does make perfect, in the sence that, the more girls you talk to and get more confortable around, the easier you will find it to talk to others in the future.

@Alien - Send her to my house I don't mind not spending money

[SAV_117]

lol i think your prob lighting is all in your sig hahaha jokes jokes