random peoples stories

[VL Berlina 5speed]

well what random stories have you had a stranger tell you,
can be about anything


half hour ago i just nipped out to my local auto pro
as i was getting back into my car a dude and just parked next to me in a banged up ea fairmont
he was late 40s mid 50s age and bit ruff looking

he said nice car to me (my daily vs) so i said cheers being polite to him

he then stated he had a hk prem with a 7 41 blower on it and ran 12s
next thing i knew he had only spent 18 grand on the car and it was imac

he started dribberling on that he just blown the diff in it yesterday and was replacing it with a jaguar diff,

he then said he was going to get rid of the motor and replace it with a v6 out of a commie and put twin turbos of a mack truck on the motor which will make 1000hp at the wheels - which is 100 more then brockys made
(he actually said that last bit, i almost cracked with laughter at that point)

i just kept agreeing and got my car started it and he walked off



now i was laughing in side myself at all the crap he was dribbling, it was just random and obvious these things wouldnt been true


so what stories have yous had thrown at you

[PaulSV6]

Lol, that guy obviously thought "mmm, he's got a nice car, ill make one up & tell him".
What he said made me laugh, Jaguar diff, swapping for a V6 with twin turbos!

Half the time i wouldn't believe the BS that comes out of some ppls mouths.

[Stretchomatic]

random old dude in the mall when i was having lunch yesty...where i used to work he had talked to me a few times, where im from, my surname, do u know this person, this person etc...

he obviously didnt recognise me and proceeded to tell me everything (most of which ive heard before)...nice enough guy, just random...

[hsvpunk]

i read a book.

[Tom_1569]

LOL @ The OP, I dont know how you could keep a straight face lol.

Waiting for my train one day wearing an Acca Dacca T-shirt this guy (late 40's) came up to me and asked if I liked the older music, and we started talking....
Then he goes have you ever heard of Black Sabbath, Im like yeah Ive got nearly all there albums. He proceeds to tell me that his brother was the lead guitarist, he went on to say how Black Sabbath is and always has been Australian (I did question him), and the lies just bigger and bigger. Went on to tell me he writes songs but he hasnt been able to write any cause he can only write them when he goes way out bush to the "quarires" at Briag, for the non-locals the particular place in question is about a 5 minute drive from town and certainly not way out bush.

This guy didnt stop, then he wanted to car pool with me the next day saying if we all chip in and ****. He then tryed to sit next to me, so I got up and walked off lol.

Damn trains running late

Seen him a few more times where he had cornered someone else into listening to him, was telling them he's a school teacher, youth worker, and a paedetrician (sp?). Hes the biggest crack up, and I would just sit there and try and contain the laughter lol.

[Travy]

I only wish I could remember half the bull **** stories I have heard from people over the years.. I could write a looong book I rekon lol.

This thread will be a good read

[Troy711]

I was at a club last night and it was packed. Sometimes you catch little snippets of peoples conversations, usually only aline or two. One of the best ones I heard last night was a girl say to a guy 'maybe you should think about what you say before you f***ing blurt it out to my face'.

[naf33n]

went to the ****er in a club on the weekend, this guy starts crapping on how he went for a ride on the back of his uncles motor bike, and it was the best feeling ever and i wouldnt understand how good it was, i should do it one time, he went over 120k's blah blah blah.

then when i told him i have 3 motorbikes, he must of jizzed in his pants, started asking a million questions, then as i walked out of the toilets he followed back to my mates, had to ignore him for about 5 mins before he walked away.

[Full Spectrum]

The Day before Xmas. A lady walked up to my door knocked and ask me to turn her radio on in her unit ?. I was in the middle of something had a girl over.. This women wouldn't leave so out i go down and turn the bastard on for her. She comes back 3.45min later again. This time I'm getting pretty ****ty and again she wont take no for an answer. So off i go again.. Then she is telling me her husband tried to break her arm she is going to have a crap Xmas Shes 56 he is 35 He has a alcohol drug problem he beats me up all the time he tossed me through the front window he slammed my head into the ground 10 times ive been to hospital 20 times this month no no i don't drink i gave up years ago (i smell alcohol from her paws) hey you want some meals on wheels ?. Now i didn't space or use a comma or anything as she said this all in one breath !.

Now Xmas day turns up. Knock Knock on the front door. In the middle of a family Xmas dinner guess who.
Turns out a friend knows this family and we found the women that cries wolf. She has been kicked out of 10 homes and once you open the door she never leaves. By the end of the day you will have a life story in 30min.... So how was your Xmas.. Anyway i ****ed her off and told her to never return again. God **** me dead a man has needs and you don't get in the middle of them - Food Sex ! Not necessarily in that order.

[And_ROOS]

My dad rode bikes and is also an instructor, so ive been raised around them, i went to a pub and was chatting to some nice lass and this bloke comes in and tries to hijack her.

He heard us talking about moties, and asks me what i have. I said i havent got any at the moment, but that i used to love heading out bush and hammering round on my xt250.
This leads him into a 10 minute story about his dads Yamaha R1, and how they would bush bash on it and take it on jumps. I ask him if he has his wires mixed up and he tells me he knows more then me yada yada yada.
Eventually i cuss him out on it more til he cracks it, tells me the R1 was a dirtbike and that i should believe him as he was a Rep for Yamaha (b.s) and i finish with "sure, and i do backflips on weekends on the Goldwing... you f**king tard..."

[MasterOfReality]

LOL @ The OP, I dont know how you could keep a straight face lol.

Waiting for my train one day wearing an Acca Dacca T-shirt this guy (late 40's) came up to me and asked if I liked the older music, and we started talking....
Then he goes have you ever heard of Black Sabbath, Im like yeah Ive got nearly all there albums. He proceeds to tell me that his brother was the lead guitarist, he went on to say how Black Sabbath is and always has been Australian (I did question him), and the lies just bigger and bigger. Went on to tell me he writes songs but he hasnt been able to write any cause he can only write them when he goes way out bush to the "quarires" at Briag, for the non-locals the particular place in question is about a 5 minute drive from town and certainly not way out bush.

This guy didnt stop, then he wanted to car pool with me the next day saying if we all chip in and ****. He then tryed to sit next to me, so I got up and walked off lol.

Damn trains running late

Seen him a few more times where he had cornered someone else into listening to him, was telling them he's a school teacher, youth worker, and a paedetrician (sp?). Hes the biggest crack up, and I would just sit there and try and contain the laughter lol.

Heheheh, don't laugh, I had someone tell me years ago that Black Sabbath was an aussie band, I kid you not, this guy was adamant they were.

[f1tzy]

Yesterday i was in the line at the regiesters and i overheard this douche talking about racing and all that **** which i ignored for aaaages until he said his civic turbo was so fast that during races by the time they had hit 80kph he had hit 200. Not 5 mins later he said he was at the drags a while ago and this street legal skyline did the quarter mile faster sideways than a purpose built drag car. After we both left the store, i headed for my ute and the car he got in was a 97ish pulsar.

[vlv8vic]

Short one.
Was in the dunny section at Bunnings the other day getting some pipes and had a play with the slow-release toilet seats on the way past. 50 odd year old bloke started crapping on about how some of the toilets look too 'upright' and "how is a man meant to kick back for a good bog on one of those things when there's no room to lean back".... we got out of there pretty quick.

[levymetal]

I was at a club last night and it was packed. Sometimes you catch little snippets of peoples conversations, usually only aline or two. One of the best ones I heard last night was a girl say to a guy 'maybe you should think about what you say before you f***ing blurt it out to my face'.

at tafe once there was this girl talking with her friends and as me and my mates walk past we hear "...and it was just at the back of my throat, so i HAD to swallow...". we all stopped and started ****ing ourselves at her. to this day it still cracks me up, and i have no idea what she was talking about (probably not what i think though!)

[redcv6]

after the orange whip grand opening (night club in ringwood) after i got kicked out, probably about 2am, i went for one of those drunk walks... anyway found myself talking to a homeless guy about his long term investments and his many beach houses all over the country .......................... enough said

[System]

after the orange whip grand opening (night club in ringwood) after i got kicked out, probably about 2am, i went for one of those drunk walks... anyway found myself talking to a homeless guy about his long term investments and his many beach houses all over the country .......................... enough said

riiiiight.... hahahahaha

[gopher]

Short one.
Was in the dunny section at Bunnings the other day getting some pipes and had a play with the slow-release toilet seats on the way past.

that sounded so wrong the first time i read it

[andyman]

hmm, we service rfs vehicles at our work, i took a landcruiser with a pump unit on the back of it with me to go get some parts from our local 4wd place,

when i pull up a elderly man with a 60 series cruiser and boat behind it pull and and come over and started questioning me if i had any information about some fire currently burning, i told him i only work on the fleet so i have no idea about current fires.

i tried to start walking away but he started with the life story on how he was a fire captain years ago, know how to manage controlled burn offs etc, then said how he does gardening work on an island not far out of town in our main river, said he had a pile of garbage built up and a small area of weeds etc etc, then the fire had gotten out of control......

at that point i looked up to see if i could see what he was talking about and strike me dead there was one of the biggest plooms of smoke ive ever seen,

at that point he was getting a little histerical and said the farmers are worried all of there pasture was going to get burnt, they where saying the whole island was going to be burnt out, the rfs wearnt going to try and put it out cause it was a pretty well deserted island..... then he finally said he had had enough and was going home so he walked off...


for a few moments i was a little shocked at what he a splurted out

[Joey_21]

lol great thread some funny stories:::::: was the first week of uni this guy who thought he was top **** was telling us how good he can drift and he reckons he could drift the round bout near the uni 10 times in a row lol anyway next morning i came to school see his skyline in the uni carpark smashed up against a tree he had ploughed through the uni's advert sign skidded over the grass clipped a small tree then smashed his whole front end i just looked at him ready to say somthinng and he started crying lolllllllllllllll poor bloke learned his lesson though

[Bax]

Short one.
old bloke started crapping on about how some of the toilets look too 'upright' and "how is a man meant to kick back for a good bog on one of those things when there's no room to lean back"

The old guy makes a good point.

[TheForgotten]

when i was younger (18) i went to the city to spend xmas/nye with my sister and her family, travelling by bus. anyway, i missed my connecting bus at gympie and had to cab to gympie train station and catch a train to nambour. no biggie... but at the station this old guy (mid 50's) started chattin to me about his fondness for young boys, and how he was at some music festival and picked up a guy about my age blah blah blah. then he asked if i wanted to come back to his house for a rum coz i had a fair wait for my train. all the while his todger is hangin out the leg of his stubbies....

also had a mate tell me he rebuilt his vr engine with titanium cam and crank, used to run a vortech v2 til he cracked the crank, but he's still running the cracked crank til he can afford another $7k for a new one... oh.. and dispite not being retuned since removing the blower he still gets his fuel consumption down around 7.5/100

i'll remember some more eventually

[Bax]

then he asked if i wanted to come back to his house for a rum coz i had a fair wait for my train. all the while his todger is hangin out the leg of his stubbies....

So you went right? hahahaha

[TheForgotten]

hahahaha no!

[Squires]

Ummm on various cruise nights in the VL I'd get allsorts of car stories. For some reason just because it had a cannon people would think it a V8 killer and blah blah blah.

One particular chat was with this dude who said he had an 800horse SLR 5000 that could smoke anything and he was constantly putting **** on 'riceburners'.

He asked me how fast had I taken the VL and I casually replied "oh she runs out of power at 180"...... He looked like he'd seen a ghost and mouthed the F word.

He drove off in a Lancer