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Advice on tracking down family of deceased former girlfriend - NSW.

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Calaber, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    It's been a bit of an experience for me too. I think the hardest part to accept is that this all happened half a lifetime ago and I didn't know. My last memory is of a young girl of 23 or 24, pretty much the same as she was when we were going out four years or so earlier. I was less than two years her senior in age. Now I'm nearly 65 and she would be 63 this January. Far out. Life is going too fast.
     
  2. Risky

    Risky Guest

    It's been a bit of a weird one Calaber but at least you got what you wanted from it. Sometimes it's hard to close an old chapter of your life.

    Some days I wonder about the people I went to school with & what's happened to them over the years. I found 2 of them here in Port of all places. One of them did my panel work on my ute last year when it was getting painted. The funny thing about that was that we picked up where we last saw each other & chatted about others that we knew. A few had passed away over the years but when I told Pat about when myself & another mate of mine cancelled our trip to Bali back in October 2002 cos we had a weird feeling about it, he was a bit shocked. I lost 2 of my best mates due to the Bali bombing. I remember at the funerals of being screamed at cos both my mate & I didn't go. It still haunts me from time to time.
     
  3. pebbs

    pebbs Member

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    Sincerely hope your mind is now at rest, sounds like you have a good wife, keep her close and good luck with the remainder of your life.
     
  4. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Thanks pebbs. It was definitely your lead that enabled me to clear so many questions up without troubling any member of the family. I had considered getting a copy of the death certificate but on initial glance, it appeared that they would only be issued to family members or somebody with family authority. Following on from your lead, I found that certificates for deaths in excess of 30 years ago didn't require that authority.

    I showed the other half the death certificate last night and her reaction was fine.
     
  5. mpower

    mpower Well-Known Member

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    Good way to close the chapter, sad but I imagine at the same time satisfying - grats on telling wifey, I had a feeling she'd be totally fine and I imagine respects everything about your fact finding mission.

    I bet if you pressed her there's some old flame in her life that may stir the same curiosity some day and now she will most likely feel a trust between you that can only be forged this way.
     
  6. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    OK. Here's the end of the story. I rang one of the sisters after contacting her through FB and outlining who I was and why I was writing. I gave some details to help her understand my approach.

    After speaking to her, I have cleared up just about every detail and learned something that surprised me. Not for publication here. The most important thing I confirmed was that, though short, her marriage was very happy and her husband still misses her after all this time. He has remarried but she is never forgotten.

    I guess that makes two of us.

    @mpower

    I actually pushed the envelope too far with the other half and had to back off a bit with what I intended to do. To say she was pissed off with me would be an understatement.
     
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  7. Jecs

    Jecs PAVTEK Race Engines Staff Member

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    glad to hear mate, thanks again for sharing with us

    repped
     
  8. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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    ^^^
    Ditto.
    Thanks for the update.
     
  9. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Well, I thought I had finished this thread but there has been a recent development which is worth outlining.

    Following my contact with her younger sister, as previously detailed, her older sister sent a "friend" request to me on Facebook about a week or so later, and after my last post here. I was very surprised to get it but accepted it as I figured there must have been something arising from my contact. I might just explain here that my GF had an older and younger sister. I had written to and spoken with the younger sister, who was only eight years old when we had met in 1970/71.

    As a result of the friendship contact through FB, I was able to view the older sister's FB timeline and there way back in 2013, was posted a photo of my GF, four years after we last met, with her first bub about 3 to 4 months old. She looked very happy and in pretty good health - very much as I remembered her.

    I suspect that might have been why the older sister requested the friendship contact. Pretty considerate of her, I reckon.
     
  10. kronz

    kronz New Member

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    Awesome thanks for the update!
     

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