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Troys Neo Socket perfomance enhancment add on thingamajig review

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Troy711, Aug 23, 2011.

  1. Troy711

    Troy711 Retired Old Fart Staff Member

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    For those who don't regularly follow the eBay lolz thread I'll give a quick update.

    After reading that a cigarette lighter adapter could save fuel, increase horsepower, lower emissions AND increase sex appeal (ok, so I made that last one up) for the measly sum of $5.99 I had to have one. My order was placed and after several games of Hungry Hungry Hippos my Neo Socket finally arrived!


    The packaging was a little bent, I was really worried it may have adverse effects on the performance.
    [​IMG]

    I figure my test vehicle (a 2005 Toyota Hiace) is closest to a Yaris so that's what I am shooting for.
    [​IMG]

    Instructions. Laughable but absolutely necessary to contain the potential beast.
    [​IMG]

    And here she is!
    [​IMG]


    I could barely contain my excitement when I opened the package. The quality was amazing, the design sleek, sexy and luxurious and I knew this product would put a grin on my face that only the sudden death of a close relative would be able to wipe off. Needless to say it was worth the wait!

    After a quick read of the instructions (hey, it looks simple but you can't be too careful!) I ran outside to do a trial fit. I unlocked my soon-to-be street monster and quivered in anticipation open initial installation. I turned the key to accessories and my eyes lit up like the blue LED on a Neo Socket. IT WAS ALIVE!!! I switched off the key and that was when I noticed the first untold wonder of this product. My radio stayed on for about 5 seconds after the key was removed! I could hardly believe my eyes... I hadn't even started the car and already my investment had shown it's power. It had some how increased my battery power outage beyond the capacity of my normal charging system! I was lost for words. My Neo Socket had done something amazing and I felt as if I was on the verge of something big. I decided to remove it and find out what makes this device tick.

    Over to my newly installed workbench to give it a workout it will never forget!


    Disassembled. High quality internal fixtures outside AND in!
    [​IMG]

    The Flux Capacitor. Having little to no knowledge of electronics I assume that's what it is.
    [​IMG]


    Upon examination I have to admit I was as clueless to the internal workings as the person who invented it. Even though the design was simple it oozed technical mastery which was unmatched by the 3 screws which held the whole package together. Inside was a spring and fuse assembly, an LED (which indicates the product is working) and a Flux Capacitor. Worried I would damage the delicate internals I put it back together and went to consider my fate should I decide to go ahead with a street trial.

    I had a discussion with my fiance whether or not I should unleash the beast within. Our conversation quickly turned to 'What if I plugged 10 in? Not only would I launch into near-earth orbit with the increase in horsepower but I'd be PRODUCING fuel with each kilometer traveled!'. I decided it was time to nut up or shut up... I took the Hi(power)ace for a spin.

    Upon initial start-up of the donk I could tell I was in for a shock. The newly found burble from my stock 6mm exhaust pipe was a dead give away. There was also a lumpiness reminiscent of my old mans worked 350 he had put in his 1963 Impala. Dad, if only you knew that you could have had the same result from spending $5.99 instead of $10,000. I allowed enough time for the VVT-i to get to optimal running temperature before asserting my position in the cockpit. The belts went on (tight) and I selected reverse. I felt like Neil Armstrong as he stepped into the unknown.

    As I slowly cruised down to the first speed bump in my street (slowly as I didn't want to apply full power right away) I instantly knew there was a difference. The engine was smooth and angry, the exhaust loud and the gear changes snappy and lightning fast. I almost dreaded what was to come at full throttle. I decided to baby my beast up until I got to a quiet back road and then... it happened. The power, the rush... the fear of a fiery death and finally a lump in my pants (both front and back). As I planted my right foot my ordinarily gutless work van was now something that even Ken Block could not contain. The rear wheels lit up and before I could think I was at 80Km/h... and massively sideways! I feathered the throttle, corrected the steering and snapped 5 gear (which was unusual cos my van is a 4 speed auto) all whilst smoke was bellowing off my rear tyres. I started to wonder why the Neo Socket doesn't come standard in every HSV.

    After a winning few red-light drags against cars that would normally flog my Hiace even if they were only allowed to use a maximum of 2000rpm in first gear I decided it was time to call my test session over. I drifted the whole way home and unplugged my Neo Rocket (as I am now calling it). As I stepped out I noticed that my van was in desperate need of new rear tyres as they were totally splattered up the rear guards. Wow... I forked out 165 bucks each for those not even a month ago. It was worth it...

    Anyone who doubts this product should simply buy one and try it. You would be amazed! Out of a possible 5 stars I rate this a 15. It's mind blowing. Buy one now!

    For those who are wondering where my Neo Rocket is now, I've locked it away where it can't fall into the wrong hands. I'd nearly be willing to sell it to the right person; one who respects it's power. Maybe I'll bring it out and use it in my Statesman for Summernats 25 in the burnout comp. I honestly don't know though, who knows what would happen if it was used incorrectly. All I know is that it's there... ready and waiting for the right time to wield it's awesome abilities. And on that day look out... I'll be sideways and hunting for my next thrill ride. It will happen, oh yes... it WILL happen!
     
  2. Drawnnite

    Drawnnite Obviously Unsensible

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    2200 microfarad capacitor. thats actually pretty big (seriously) must do good things=P
    it must constantly charge and give the engine a boost by 10 fold of what the KERS system in f1 gives.


    just imagine what would have achieved in a toyota yaris. it really would have lit up the rear wheels
     
  3. TI3VOM

    TI3VOM New Member

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    All I can say is WOW............ I can't believe you bought one hahaha
    Nice wright up Troy it was good for a laugh.
     
  4. pjdm1980

    pjdm1980 Shut up Jr I'm thinkin!

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    You idiot you've released the evil/mystical power by opening it we're all doomed you mad man!!!!!!
     
  5. Trayner

    Trayner Fresh prince of Pakky

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    hahahah pisser mate !
     
  6. HarmlessMuffinMan

    HarmlessMuffinMan New Member

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  7. Wombles

    Wombles Cars cost too much.

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    Ill buy it off you troy!! It sounds amazing!

    Nice write up. Gave a good laugh.
     
  8. one_and_only2004

    one_and_only2004 Turbo L98 FTW

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    Whoever makes these would be making a fair bit of $...
     
  9. hi_ryder

    hi_ryder Donating Member

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    "The power, the rush... the fear of a fiery death and finally a lump in my pants (both front and back)" lol that line got me... write up made my night dude.... :beer chug:
     
  10. CapriciousWL

    CapriciousWL New Member

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    Contact the F1 circuit - this may help a few of the lower ranked teams. All they need is a hidden 12v outlet..
     
  11. JMP

    JMP Active Member

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    Perhaps someone should give one to HRT as it may change their fortune but then again we saw what Holden did when Brocky tried installing his energy polarizer
     
  12. jatsvl

    jatsvl NEEDS MORE POWER!

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    troy if you put a switch on it, charge it up, switch it to the off position, pull it out, then go and poke someone withit and switch it on it will be just like a crap TASER.
    it could be pretty useful in the bedroom to really get the missus moving, whilst saving 20% of your energy, heheha.
     
  13. Astranomical

    Astranomical Ecotec just kicked in yo

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    After reading your review I think I'm going to go and buy a few of them...by my calculations if I plug in say, 15 of them it should give my Astra an extra 10,000 rwkw while at the same time allowing me to make money by selling the fuel I produce while driving, right?
     
  14. Calaber

    Calaber Nil Bastardo Carborundum

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    Nah - not for me. Looks like a 12v dildo.
     
  15. hi_ryder

    hi_ryder Donating Member

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    mmmmmmm..... 12 volt dildos..... click click purchased...
     
  16. Troy711

    Troy711 Retired Old Fart Staff Member

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    Haha, cheers for the replies (and likes) everyone. As I am sure you can all tell it did 9/10ths of fk all but at least we all got a decent laugh out of this thread.
     
  17. detox_nath83

    detox_nath83 Another VL Driver

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    nice write up.. liked the" snapped 5th gear part"

    but what absolute poo. i cant believe ppl would think it would work, and how can they sell this shit.. its a fkn capacitor and that's all..

    carefull if u hit 88mph u might teleport :p

    Hahaa funny u should post that product review to them for shits and giggles
     
  18. 87RB30VL

    87RB30VL Swiggidy Swag

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    I think I burst a blood vessel in my eye from laughing so hard!!!

    Kidding, I burst a blood vessel from crying so hard due to the fact that this product's epic-ness has now been publicly revealed & will no doubt be pulled off the market by the Government so NASA can send them into space instead of billion dollar rockets!
     
  19. vscalais951

    vscalais951 New Member

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    I have had 2 collapsed lungs in the past few months, you just gave me number three, bloody champion what a awesome story.
     
  20. Jesterarts

    Jesterarts Your freedom ends where mine begins

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    Just just like the fact this product is an "invension", which must be the next step up from being an "invention". :p
     

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