lmao, either you've been listening to too much Pink Floyd, or you really need to learn a lesson in patience.
Is it only happening on cold starts? Will it happen on warm starts? This could be very important

Does it start first time again once you've got it running?
Sounds to me like you could be getting water into some of those pistons overnight, or perhaps a leaky injector or three have been causing some flooding.
When she starts up with the problem, is there a hint of smoke from the exhaust at all? Get someone to check. And then tell us the colour of the smoke. Blackish, blueish, white...