Car not starting

[PorkoWog]

I've lost my license for two years (get 'em back on 2nd of September, 2011) and have ever since found myself turning on my car every week for about 10-15 minutes just to avoid the engine dying on me. For the past couple of months I've had holidays and been at work too much to even think about my car, and now the thing doesn't even start, chuggle or anything at all. I simply put the key in the ignition, twist and nothing but silence.

I've also attempted to jump-start it with both of my parents cars, a VY Commodore Berlina and Toyota Prado GX, to no avail.

Is it my alternator or start motor that's giving me the problem? Or could it possibly be something more serious?

[greenacc]

Have you charged your battery ? Its probably dead as ..
Do your headlights and blinkers work ?

[PorkoWog]

I haven't charged my battery and I presume that it is completely dead due to no electronics working. Headlights, blinkers, in car lights, dash, etc, doesn't turn on at all.