Wow! You are between a rock and a hard place on this one.
Did the dealer give you the Tech2 reports from any testing they did and reset the memory?
If so, any new codes may be a clear indication of the starting running problems if they reoccur.
Is the car now running well - all key functions working, correct smooth idle speed, positive starting, running well under load, gear changes spot on, hot starting good, cold starting good, aircon working properly etc.
During my ECU problems I thought I had a wiring fault, bad connector, or broken wire in the engine loom that had the lower ECU connector in it. I spent hours checking every wire destination from the lower Delphi A plug on the ECU to all other parts of the engine bay. Very time consuming. My ECU would go well for two or three days, become intermittent for a day or so, or fail for an hour or so then come good. Generally on a cold start the problem could appear, then after about 5 minutes driving it would clear.
I could encourage the miss at idle by firmly moving the lower ECU plug up and down, that's what biased me to the wiring fault. I think the twisting on the ECU socket reflected mechanically into the substrate of the ECU and made the connector appear to be the issue. At one stage, I had a piece of cork wedged between the Delphi connectors, as my wiring tests showed voltage variations to Injector #4 when I pressed on the connector. The cork seemed to work for about two days then the intermittent failures started again. Later on, no amount of twisting the connector would vary the voltage at the injector, and the engine ran well. At least I enjoyed the wine.
Then the ECU failed full time.
If the dealer is patient in waiting to get your money, I'd hold off the ECU purchase, and do any more checking you think you need to do before recommitting for the ECU.
It depends how much you and your friends can interpret from wiring destinations etc. and come to a considered decision for replacement etc.
I'd test as much as I could and then wait for the failure. Worst part is the timing of the next failure.
Good luck with your outcome.