Whats the only thing your wife/girlfriend should wear out? The carpet between the kitchen and bedroom ------------------------------------ Whats the definition of gross? A bin full of dead babies Whats Worse than that? A live one at the bottom Whats Worse than that? The live one eating its way to the top ------------------------------ How do you give a dog a bone? Tickle its nuts
whats the difference between a barrel of dead babies and a ferrari....... I dont have a ferrari in my garage
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 10,000 people, and a jazz guitarist plays 10,000 chords to 3 people
A Letter To Jessie James: You Stupid Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock? How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has a body to die for and her current wealth is shadowed only by Oprah. Your wife, recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now named "America's Sweetheart." You also remember, she just won an Oscar and praised you up and down in front of the world while you were porkin' away. You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet! How can you live with yourself! I only have one thing to say to the despicable, miserable, cheating piece of **** that you are: Thanks for taking the heat off of me. Let's do lunch. Tiger Woods
Don't fly with Virgin Airlines... Personally I would want a aeroplane that will go the whole way. A bra and jumper leads walk into a bar. The barman says, 'I cant serve use'. They reply, 'Why?' The barmen replies.. 'Cause you look like your off your tits and you look like your about to start something.'
What's the difference between an elephant's arse and a postal box? Not sending you to post my mail. What do you call a man with no arms, no legs and laying amongst the leaves? Rustle.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. Did you hear about the blonde coyote? Got stuck in a trap, chewed of three of its legs and was still stuck.
