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BILL GATES VS GM! :whistling

Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Low_VX_Taxi, Mar 18, 2007.

  1. Low_VX_Taxi

    Low_VX_Taxi Blanned

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    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
    characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to
    pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
    reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply
    accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut
    down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times
    as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by
    a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to
    let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed
    hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all
    over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine OFF.
     
    14secvp likes this.
  2. jd hot stuff

    jd hot stuff 355 power

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    lol gold, i wonder what Bill gates would say about that lol
     
  3. Boonz

    Boonz Donating Member

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    thats just wild lol:p someone should send that to microsoft
     
  4. The Darkness

    The Darkness Junk Yard Dog

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    **** read this about 5 years ago
     
  5. shumway

    shumway Son of satan

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    ya that one is pretty old,heard it ages ago
     
  6. 14secvp

    14secvp New Member

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    funny as hell
     
  7. JD

    JD Donating Member

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    just thinking number 6 may actully happen one day.
     
  8. shaggerz

    shaggerz New Member

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    lol that is great... seen it heaps of times but everywhere I read it its written differently with different points. I have also seen a version involving kitchen appliances lol.
     
  9. dagar187

    dagar187 ls1nder

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    wicked! thats funny as lol
     
  10. JD

    JD Donating Member

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    just noticed something else, Bill Gates stated that if GM had kept up with the industry cars would cost $25 and would get 1000M.P.G

    a average car goes for about $25,000.
    so does that mean that vista should cost about 2c?
     
  11. NickVR

    NickVR Active Member

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    Old but funny. Always brings a smile to my face when i read it though.
     
  12. Jo3_Blo

    Jo3_Blo HZ Holden Fanatic

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    XD, thats pretty funny! :rofl:
     
  13. Fekason

    Fekason Fekason

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    Miniturisation?

    And of course, since computer components keep shrinking, the car would now be the size of a matchbox car.

    That would make it as useful as MS Windows.
     
  14. MikesVT

    MikesVT M&M =D

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    "7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying."


    LOLOLOL.... Arghhh that is goldd.... lmao... i like that one
     
  15. VYBec

    VYBec New Member

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    Classic.. For those of us that havn't heard it!!! ROFLMAO!!!
    #8 sounds like the old VN.. Previous owner had installed an alarm that used to make the hazard lights flash randomly while driving along (shonky wiring!!).. You had to press the central lock button and the immoboliser button while pressing the hazard light button and slowly put your foot on the accelerator!! Don't ask me how I figured it out or why it worked it just was!!!
     
  16. Misaprop

    Misaprop black betty

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    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    My old VN used to do that on right turns I think... Lucky I didn't have to reintall the engine, just restart the car
     
  17. MiSs MeOw

    MiSs MeOw MiSs MeOw

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    never read it before (phhhh where have i been huh) very funny
     
  18. Shifty1

    Shifty1 New Member

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    read it heaps of tiems before but still gold.. especially this:

    i found that the best out of the lot! :D
     

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