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Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Tatiana, Feb 18, 2006.

  1. Tatiana

    Tatiana Administrator Staff Member

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    Bought a jeep
    Some are hillarious, some are oldies but goodies.

    "IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
    Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
    If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
    Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
    The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
    I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
    So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
    Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
    If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
    Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
    Illiterate? Write For Help.
    Honk If Anything Falls Off.
    Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
    He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
    But is Miles From The Next Exit.
    I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
    You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
    I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
    Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
    (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
    If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
    Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
    Also Are Timed For 70 mph
    Guys: No Shirt, No Service
    Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
    If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
    Ax Me About Ebonics.
    Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
    Boldly Going Nowhere.
    Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
    Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
    Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
    How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
    GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN.
    All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
    "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

    C.
     
  2. holden#1

    holden#1 New Member

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    Members Ride:
    VS S1 Executive V6
    If You Don't Like My Driving, Keep Off The Footpath!
     
  3. coolngroovy

    coolngroovy Member

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    MY06 VZ Calais
    Seen on the rear window of a ute, 'yes it's my ute,no i wont help you move'
     
  4. Tatiana

    Tatiana Administrator Staff Member

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    My signature is also taken from a bumper sticker. Another favourite of mine is 'I am driving like this to piss you off'

    C.
     
  5. VS_chick

    VS_chick Guest

    on a back of my friends ute he has "before an acident city people say f&#$, country people say hold my beer and watch this" he also has 'f@#$ off were full' surrounded my australia

    :)
     
  6. STEALTHY™

    STEALTHY™ So Wet For You!

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    better version of that

    Yes i've got a Ute, NO I Wont help you move!
     
  7. vinnywelsh

    vinnywelsh Bored Technician

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    Stuck on the side of a cop paddy wagon @ indy last year "jack lives here"

    Stuck on the bumper bar of a cop car "proud to be gay" big fluro pink sticker with white writing in center of brisbane.
     
  8. pro_gmh

    pro_gmh Active Member

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    What i want stuck on my runnabout pos hatch (when ever i get one)..
    "Pick on me, I will hunt you down with my Commodore"
     
  9. ucwepn

    ucwepn America just kicked in yo

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    Remember those "drive right" and "drive right2" stickers everyone in VIC had on their cars (unsure if it was all of oz)?? My mate had one but it said "drag right2" I pissed myself everytime I saw it
     
  10. Nobody Actually

    Nobody Actually luxo barge

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    seen a "speed thrills (220)" on a ute.
    looked pretty cool, looked just like the speed kills one so you had to look twice
     
  11. sts71

    sts71 New Member

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    one on my ute,

    friends help you move
    real friends help you move bodies,
    greater friends help you with their ute.


    :)
     
  12. sts71

    sts71 New Member

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    now theres a sticker Im putting on my corolla!
     
  13. NOGEN 3

    NOGEN 3 New Member

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    what about,"KEEP HONKING-I'M RE-LOADING!"
    Kinda like the,"Horn broken- watch 4 finger" 1 tho
     
  14. STEALTHY™

    STEALTHY™ So Wet For You!

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    mate of mine just bought a 180, and has his msn name (obviously perfect for a sticker) My other car is a commodore, but today i'm in a hurry:rofl:
     
  15. S Pack

    S Pack Topped out @ 230kph

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    On The 8th Day God Created Fords To Keep #@*!heads out of Holdens
     
  16. BlackVXGTS

    BlackVXGTS Well-Known Member

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    I still like this one:

    To all you virgins. Thanks for nothing!
     
  17. vz_ute2005

    vz_ute2005 Guest

    carefactor 0%
     
  18. Patrio7

    Patrio7 3Y3 K4N 5P33K 1337.

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    "Don't laugh, your daughter could be in here."
     
  19. pro_gmh

    pro_gmh Active Member

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    basically the same..

    hey mate thats enuf bout my car, your sister didnt mind!
     
  20. TheForgotten

    TheForgotten only human......

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    VR EXEC
    god created ****, mitsubishi gave it wheels, nissan made it move, ford perfected it
    stroked is fine but I'd rather be blown
    your little princess is my little whore
    I choked Linda Lovelace
    Caution. Driver is a WOMAN
    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
    When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
    Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
    I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged.
    She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
    I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
    Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
    Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
    A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
    Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
    I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
    Eschew Obfuscation.(go ahead, look them both up!)
    Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
    All generalizations are false.
    Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
    I brake for no apparent reason.
    I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
    Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
    We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
    He who laughs last thinks slowest.
    Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
    Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
    Born free. Taxed to death.
    The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
    Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
    Rehab is for quitters.
    I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
    Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
    Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
    Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
    I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
    If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
    When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
    Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
    No radio - Already stolen.
    Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
    Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
    I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
    Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
    Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check? .
    I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
    IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
    Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
    It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
    According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
    Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
    Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
    A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
    Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
    Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
    Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
    Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
    Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
    Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
    Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    i souport publik edekashun.
    Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
    There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
    Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
    Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
    God created asphalt so yuppies could go four wheeling"
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2006

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