Child custody

Mate the only sensible advice we can give is see a lawyer.

 

as above mate

 

Yeah I know it’s not exactly what you want to hear Judd but the guys above are right. Anything we give you will not be accurate in regards to your issue.
I get to see my girl whenever I want at the moment but am waiting for this day to come. I hope to god it don’t but I’m guessing you didn’t see this coming either.
Unfortunately every case is very very different, so the only advice that should be given on a public forum is to see a lawyer, or even seek advice from a Gov. department. But again I dare say they will say .... see a lawyer.

Good luck bud, but if you have done nothing wrong in regards to child support (make sure you can prove your paying it, receipts or bank statements) and the health and wellbeing of your boy then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. These days Fathers have just as much right as the mothers so chin up.

Cheers
Scott

 

every case is different mate, so if it's getting nasty unfortunately your only option is a solicitor/lawyer
all the best with it mate. I've seen too many good fathers go through this crap

 

Another +1 for the "see a lawyer" column mate.

I know it's really not what you want to heard, but considering the seriousness of the issue you are seeking advice on, it really is the only responsible advice to give.

Sorry mate, good luck with it though.

 

I have been through custody battle before. But regardless of what you want atm, mediation is a must before you go to court anyways, your solicitor will probably organise it for you as he will end up needing to read the minutes from the mediation.
If you ex doesn't agree to your terms in mediation, then most likely it will head to court unless she folds and gives in to your wishes.

I wish you the best of luck mate. If you want to talk feel free to pm me.

Atm my ex broke our court orders so I am taking her back to court now and am going for full custody.
Not only did she stop me seeing my 2 daughters, she moved towns in an effort to stop me from ever seeing them. Stupid thing is she told me what town she was moving too.
Not only that. Solicitors have their ways of extracting information from government agencies on her where abouts!

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seems she knows that you wont go to court, she probably doesnt want to go court either and just scaring you with the idea, chances are if u agree to go court you will be calling your bluff.

Then again as a child who had split parents since i was 7 (now im 18) i know that from 13 i was allowed by law to choose what parent i wanted to stay with and for how long, i decided to never see my father and just stay with my mum... but my dad was a doosh, im sure your a good dad

 

Limited Advice

IMHO, this is the best advice offered.

Family court counsellors are generally very good at being "fair". It is quite safe to volunteer for counselling before you expend scare funds on a lawyer. While they will try to broker a fair outcome, they have no power to enforce anything. The downside is that you might have to face a badgering from your ex at the sessions. However, the possibility of a good mediated outcome could be worth the risks. Only you can decide.

The second thing to be aware of is that the court would probably "order" counselling before hearing any application if voluntary mediation had not been completed. If you refused it, you would be up against it in any court appearance. Probably best to do it voluntarily than the court thinking that they had to force you to do so.

My last bit of advice is that I recommend that you acknowledge that the court system is about "LAW". It is arguable whether the law is always fair, so be careful about your expectations. The Family Court is more likely to give the issue serious consideration than a local court, so if your ex starts something in the local court, I recommend that you seek to have it transferred to the Family Court. When dealing with law, it is hazardous to represent yourself unless you have lots of time to prepare and the nous to understand the system.

Sadly, I had a divorce a long time ago. I represented myself all the way through, but was careful not to ask for more than I thought the court would agree to or was reasonable. My ex asked for the world, but only got what I proposed, word for word. That included both property settlement and custody.

My now wife had an acrimonious divorce. I could not represent her, but we presented our desired draft court orders to a solicitor, who acted on her behalf. Again we were careful to be reasonable, and the court again issued orders word for word with our submissions.

Moral: Be reasonable, and you have a good chance of a good outcome. Be unreasonable and you have a good chance of totally losing.

Last advice: Do what’s right. Remember that you have to sleep with yourself for the rest of your life.

 

unfortunantly people dont think of the one person this effects the most ....... the child.
This isnt aimed at you Judd but your ex. I see have seen it heaps where one parent thinks they have more rights than the other so they take the child away without any consideration to the child.

Again good luck bud. I really hope it gets sorted out for the best.

 

going through the exact same thing as yourself now bud. as said above see a lawyer.

yes it is an expensive excercise but (hopefully) the end result far outweighs the expense.

oh an if you ever need a chat etc, send me a pm

 

Mediation is the first step. You can't proceed through the court system until you have had a crack at mediation and it can't be settled there.

You and her get a separate session first then a joint one where your issues and suggestions are brought up from your individual sessions and then an agreement is the goal to be achieved. If an agreement can't be reached, it will be recommended that it goes before a magistrate with the mediators recommendations. They also have a counselling service to talk to the children involved. If she won't come to mediation then you can apply for a final certificate and take that to court.

The desired outcome by both the mediators and the court is to have a 50/50 arrangement. It's in the best interest of the child to have an equal relationship with both parents. (Mitigating circuumstances aside). The mediators will push for a 50/50 custody, if it's not practical to have 50/50, then there will be recommendations based on personal circumstances etc. Anything said in mediation is confidential and can't be used in court except for the summary drawn up specifically by the mediators. The goal is a parenting plan that you both agree to, and can have made into orders by the court. A plan doesn't NEED to go to court to be made into orders.

Good luck though, I have been through this and have 50/50 custody through a parenting plan. Didn't need to go to court.

 

Agree. Only get legal advice from the pros. That's why you pay them big money, cos they deal with the legal aspect of it. If you do need to talk mate, sling me a pm, sometimes its good to talk to someone who has gone through the same as you.
That way you don't feel so alone, if that makes sense

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thats pretty much exactly what a lawyer told my son's grandmother. as long as the kid is clothed, fed, and not physically abused thats all the court cares about.

one bit of advice that's painfully obvious but can be forgotten in the heat of the moment.. keep your cool at all times, even when the ex's crap is driving u insane, some mates in a similar situation have lost it at the ex and/or her dad or new bloke etc and it never did them any favours thats for sure

 

Your obviously male so the outcome is hopeless, your best bet is to get some rights, get fired from your job, become a drug using alcoholic, claim a mental condition and go on a disability pension you get more money that way than on the dole.
Next centre link & legal aid will be able to help you out and the world will be your oyster.

SEE a Lawyer, pay him money!! lots

Ok your ex is the psychotic jealous type each time you get settled, happy, move on etc this will start up again. If you bring Lawyers into this I hope you have some money probably cost $15,000-$20,000 to come to a custody arrangement through family court, then every now and again each time you get settled or reach a milestone in your relationship it will all start upagain.

SEE a Lawyer, pay him money!! lots

SEEK LEGAL ADVICE, keep a diary of every minute detail, from how late they are when she has to hand them over to you, to the summary of any phone calls you will need it. Most important stay calm no matter what dont give her the opportunity to put an AVO on you the police will be very happy to help her.

SEE a Lawyer, pay him money!! lots

Also things count in your favour the Kids must have their own bedrooms, cant share with adults or sleep in the loungeroom when visiting etc, unless the kids are about to die you have no chance of full custody at best hope for a 50/50 only if she wants to play nice, probably every second weekend you will end up with.

SEE a Lawyer, pay him money!! lots

after reading the above somehow believe that I am actually happily married But I have had some close dealings with a relative who has put our whole family through 8 years of hell so far.

Scott

Oh and PS - SEE a Lawyer, pay him money!! lots

 

make a diary of everything she does because in end youll prob find they been looking for any dirt they can get on you!!!

im pretty sure only one side can have legal aid so get in first is my advice!!

both of my brothers went through this!!
both won and have full custody