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Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by IanG, Dec 19, 2006.

  1. IanG

    IanG New Member

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    > Subject: English cricket jokes

    >>

    >>

    >> Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?

    >> A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

    >>

    >> Q. What is the height of optimism?

    >> A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

    >>

    >> Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball

    >> almost always takes a wicket?

    >> A. A bat.

    >>

    >> Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?

    >> A. An allrounder.

    >>

    >> Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint

    >> Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?

    >> A. At least they can say they're not really English.

    >>

    >> Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?

    >> A. Three runs in three balls.

    >>

    >> Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

    >> A. A bowler.

    >>

    >> Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English

    >> batsmen?

    >> A. The walk back to the pavilion.

    >>

    >> Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

    >> A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

    >>

    >> Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?

    >> A. Because he was born in England.

    >>

    >> Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

    >> A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

    >>

    >> Q. What's the English version of LBW?

    >> A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

    >>

    >> Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?

    >>

    >> A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

    >
     
  2. JD

    JD Donating Member

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    love it, poor poms
     
  3. daron

    daron wizfiz

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    >> Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

    >> A. A bowler.

    hahahahahahahahahaha
    made me laff
     
  4. soyaman

    soyaman New Member

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    Ouch !! more pain for this bruised pom to add to his reckless paintball forey on Saturday- i look like i have been chesting Brett Lee-paintballing is awesome -totally mad ,my workmates have been laughing at me all big time this week..
     
  5. Outlaw Torn

    Outlaw Torn New Member

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    Q. can an aussie cricket player win honestly?
    A. no, he must bowl underarm


    :p
     
  6. soyaman

    soyaman New Member

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    my ex- wife brought me an Aussie flag cooking apron -Ouch!! nice dig.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2006
  7. matty88

    matty88 LPG Installer :p

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    My pommy family sent my cricket mad brother a Barmy Army T-shirt, we all cracked up.
     
  8. drewins

    drewins swear word

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    Q: What teams gonna lose a test match on the third day?

    A: England
     
  9. drewins

    drewins swear word

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    I hope they do anyway else ill look like a d**khead.
     

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