Funny police stories

[Hunter SS]

in my younger days, walking home with a mate Drunk, cops pull up along side and say
what are you doing?
minding my own business, you should try it.
I was lucky to go home that night, funny as it is now I don't recommend the above answer.

I did something similar when i was a teenager.... walking down the main street of Liverpool... walked past a police car with one in the passenger side.....i was with 3 other friends and thought i would be the funny bastage.... so i piped up loud enough for him to hear me.. "can anybody smell bacon?"
Before i travelled another 10 feet, the cop, who seemed to be about 20 feet tall had me by the shoulder threatening to take me down to the station if i was going to be a smart arse.... i nearly crapped my pants..... my mates were still pissing themselves laughing 30 minutes later!

 

[some_guy]

I pulled into a booze station in my VW beetle. The officer looked at my car and came out with this line

"Do you know that the car that is owned most by serial killers is the VW beetle?"

My reply: "sorry to disappoint but im not a serial killer"

We both had a good laugh

A year or so later i Had just gotten a haircut, my license photo was of me with a mop full of hair.

The officer asked me why my hair was so different, i literally didn't know how to answer, so i came out with this dumb ass reply

"Because i got my haircut?" (He wasn't happy)

He then proceeded to ask if i was Aboriginal or Torres strait Islander while shining his torch on my PALE white skin.

i let him answer his own question.

 

[strgas]

many moons ago whilst at frentree gully road drags outside pizza hut with about 200 other people 6 coppers show up to move us on , whilst walking along the footpath the crowd starts singing old mac donald had a farm , and on his farm he had some pigs with an oink oink here and a oink oink there , all the coppers could do was laugh but then they had the last laugh when they booked to of my mates for parking on crown land .

 

[drewVHSS]

last year i was on my way home from work. Empire bay drive has a change of speed sign to 70 at the base of a hill and another on the other side.....
going up the hill i sped up to 70 after passing the first sign. I realise most people either dont notice that sign due to it's placement and dont raise their speed untill they see the sign on the other side.
The unmarked cop behind me was either not a local for long or having a blonde day.
He pulled me over just past the 2nd 70 sign and insisted i was doing 70 in a 60 zone.
I insisted i was doing 70 in a 70 zone.
Being a fat bastard of a cop i decided to barter with him.
"mate,I know it's a 70 zone, if you dont go back with me and look at the sign, i'll have this in court real quick. I'd suggest walking but from the looks of ya, that aint gonna happen"
One trip in the back seat of the cop car to go back and look at the sign proved me right.
Fat prick ungraciously left me there on the side of the road to walk up and down the ####ing hill back to my car....
1 letter of complaint to the commisioner of police and a response of him having been transferred was the result.
Bloody moron.

 

[some_guy]

You did kind of call him fat.

An officer pulled my mate over in his AE82 carolla. Told him he was doing burnouts.

My friend then looked in the side mirror to see the other officer looking at the rear tyres.

He turned to the officer at the window and said "he'll have more luck if he looks at the front ones champ"

 

[drewVHSS]

You did kind of call him fat.

An officer pulled my mate over in his AE82 carolla. Told him he was going burnouts

My friend then looked in the side mirror to see the other officer looking at the rear tyres

He turned to the officer at the window and said "he'll have more luck if he looks at the front ones champ"

I wanted to call him an idiot too but at the time couldn't find an "educated" way of doing it!

 

[blasta1]

Got pulled over for random breath test , cop says here blow into this , i piped up with hows about a quik head job to get me started , talk about lead balloons .

 

[Ghost]

Got pulled over for random breath test , cop says here blow into this , i piped up with hows about a quik head job to get me started , talk about lead balloons .

Did you go for a trip? Lol

 

[some_guy]

Got pulled over for random breath test , cop says here blow into this , i piped up with hows about a quik head job to get me started , talk about lead balloons .

I see that as more, disgusting, than funny. And just basic smartarsery without provocation tbh.

 

[BookMe]

A mate and myself were walking from one night club to another, when he started to cross the road whilst the walking sign was red. I yelled out something like "don't" or "stop" just as a general duties vehicle came flying around the corner and clipped him and knocked him over.
The copper then turned the sirens and lights on, and flew down the road 200 meters, then turned them off again before making a right turn.