Well Today being St Patricks day. Post your irish jokes. I'll start. Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, one day a slate came down from the roof and cut paddy's ear off. Paddy and his workmates tried to locate his ear in the muck and dirt. An ear was found and Paddy was asked Is This Your Ear? Paddy says No, Mine had a PENCIL on it!
Mick and Darrel were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Mick, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches", and walked away. Darrel shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
paddy and mick were on a flight dublin to somewhere. part way through the flight the captain came on over the PA *attention please ladies and gentlemen we have just lost engine 4, but we're running on 1,2, and 3. we will arrive half an hour late* 10 minutes later the pilot comes on again *attention please ladies and gentlemen we have just lost engine 2 as well, but we're running on 1 and 3. we will arrive an hour late* bad things happen in 3's because after another 10 minutes there was another announcement. *attention please ladies and gentlemen we have just lost engine 1, but we're running on 3. we will arrive half an hour and half late* paddy turns to mick and says "jaysus, i hope that one doesn't die, we'll be up here all night!"
