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Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Mavericks Choice, Sep 16, 2017.

  1. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    Dear Diedre, When I was 18 and had an erection I couldn't hold it down with two hands. Now I am 64 I can hold it down with two fingers. Does this mean that I am getting stronger?
     
  2. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  3. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    After watching Iran, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Tunisia crash out of the World Cup, I'm beginning to think FIFA stands for 'Football Isn't For Arabs'.
     
  4. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    Paddy says to Murphy "My mate came off his motorbike today."
    "Oh really?" Says Murphy.
    "Yes" Paddy answers. "He has brain damage, 2 broken arms and is blind
    in one eye!"
    Murphy says, "Bloody hell, no wonder he came off!"
     
  5. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the Fourth time.

    "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

    "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

    "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

    "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

    "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

    "He died of a broken neck."

    "A broken neck?"

    "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
     
  6. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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  7. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    Mother in law says to her daughter in law "I dont mean to offend you but my grandson looks nothing like my son" daughter in law replies "I've a fanny between my legs not a fuckin photocopier!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    ephect and immortality like this.
  8. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  9. BlackVXGTS

    BlackVXGTS Well-Known Member

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  10. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  11. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  12. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  13. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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  14. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

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  15. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

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  16. ephect

    ephect Donating Member

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  17. BlackVXGTS

    BlackVXGTS Well-Known Member

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  18. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

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    These idiots cannot take the piss, so he got arrested....

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

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  20. VS_Pete

    VS_Pete Donating Member

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