Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

US country trio, The Dixie Chicks, were asked to drop the word 'Dixie' from their name as it's a nickname for the confederate states who promoted negro slavery and may cause offence to some people. They've agreed to this and so not to offend anyone have changed their name to 'Chicks With Dicks'

 

[Skydrol]

Funny is....
Dixie is the French currency used back then, Dix as #Ten (as 10 Francs) Diez in Castellano. Back then, the USD was garbage, worthless paper shît, so a lot of colonies/states relied on Spanish and French coinage back in the early 1800s. So, southern states used the French coinage and as a nickname, came the "Dixie", same as calling Brits "Limey" from the using of limes to fight Scurvy (Viatmin C deficiency). The southern states became "Rebels" because opposed the Nothern Federalist overreach that we see now. The whole Civil War was not about Slaves, was about, again, Taxations and Tariffs. The word Dixie became a badge of honor, the same way Blacks called thenselves N and Louisianians call thensleves "Coon Asses".

Just pure hate driven by history ignorance.

Sorry, not a joke but had to put some straight.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

From July 6th in Wales, grandparents can visit one set of grandchildren, but not the others, and kids can visit one of their grandparents, but not the other. Indeed, grandparents can only visit one of their children and only allow that one child to visit them. There's no limit on numbers, just one household at the same address. Similarly, one welshman can visit a field full of sheep, as long as they're all from the same farm. The sheep then can't see anyone else. Get in quick boyos!

 

[Tatiana]

When I am bored I go to porn sites and write in the comments "why are you doing this? Please come home, your Father and I are heart broken"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Seamus was in his local in Dublin and started chatting to an older woman. He told her that he was off to London, England the next day to look for work. “Could you do me a favour?” asked the woman. “When you get to London, can you see if you can find my son? He went away over a year ago and hasn’t even written to me.” Seamus said he would help and asked what his name was. “It’s Dunne,” replied the woman, “and he said he was moving to somewhere in London with the postcode WC something. “Leave it to me, Mrs Dunne!” and the next day, he set off. When he arrived in London, Seamus went for a drink in a pub and noticed a door stating “WC”. He went inside and knocked on one of the cubicles. “Are you Dunne?” he shouted. “I am,” came the reply, “but I’ve no paper!” “That’s a lame excuse for not writing to your mam!”

 

[Tatiana]

I have decided, from next week I am going to dress as a different type of bread every day.
Roll on Monday!

 

[BrettP75]

There was this young traveller wondering the countryside when he came across this pub with a sign offering $100 to the first person who can make his pet donkey laugh as he’s been miserable for years and not a single person has ever been able to make him laugh. So the traveller walks up to the publican and says he’ll have a crack. Sure enough he walks up to the donkey then within minutes the donkey is in hysterics laughing. Shocked the publican gives the man the $100 and then the traveller is on his way. 4 years later the same traveller is passing by the same pub with a sign offering $100 to make the donkey stop laughing. The traveller walks up to the publican and says he’ll have a crack. Sure enough he walks up to the donkey and within minutes has stopped laughing. The publican asks him what his trick was in each occasion. The traveller said well the first time I told the donkey I had a bigger dick than he did, the 2nd time I proved it.

 

[shane_3800]

I have decided, from next week I am going to dress as a different type of bread every day.
Roll on Monday!

Pic's?

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Three boys were sitting on a fence talking. One of the little boys says to the other, "If you could have your body covered in anything, what would it be?"
After thinking for a while the boy answers, "Silver."

"Well, why?"

"I could peel it off and buy that Honda over there."
The boy then asks the other, "And you?"
"Gold, I could peel it off and buy the BMW sitting over there."
After a few seconds one of the boys ask the first boy, "Well, what about you?!?"
The boy thought and thought and finally, said very calmly, "Hair."
Well the other two boys were just sickened and asked..."HAIR???? Why in the hell would you want your WHOLE BODY covered in HAIR???"
"Well", the boy answered, "My sister has got a little tiny patch of hair and she owns both of those cars!

 

[rambunctious]

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.