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Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

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Harley Davidson is closing many of its Plants Due to Declining Sales. Apparently, the Baby Boomers all have motorcycles, and Generation X is only buying a very few and the next generation, the Millennials, aren’t buying any at all. A recent study was conducted to find out why?
Here are the reasons why Millennials don't ride motorcycles, and why sales are down:
1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pyjamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.
 

Mavericks Choice

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I love Halloween... seeing the looks on the kids faces as they bite into their toffee onion..
 

Mavericks Choice

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Apparently Melania was also taken to hospital once she heard the news Trump had the virus.
For plastic surgery, to take the smile off her face
 

Mavericks Choice

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My wife phoned me. "There are two men standing outside," she whispered in a panic. "I think they are going to break in to our house." I said, "If they force their way in, don't let them have anything good. Ok?" "Ok, ok. I'll try my best!" she cried. I said, "No television. No Xbox, none of my expensive shirts. Ok?" "Ok, ok!" she shouted. "But--my goodness, honey, what if they ask me for sex?" I replied, "That'll be fine. I said 'anything good'.
 

Mavericks Choice

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I asked my wife if she'd like a diamond necklace for her birthday.
She said "nothing would make me happier!".....So I got her nothing instead....
 

Mavericks Choice

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A man is angry because he has it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else's wallet, but he has a change of heart during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest asks, "What made you change your mind?" The man says, "In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my wallet!"
 

Mavericks Choice

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I was clearing out my late German Grandfather's closet.
And I decided to give all his Old Clothes to a Charity Shop.
I handed over the Bag of Clothes to the shop assistant who was rummaging through it.
When a horrified expression formed on her Face.
"How dare you bring this Uniform in to my Shop" she exclaimed angrily.
"This is a Sick Symbol of Pain, Shame and Humiliation"..?!?!?
Hugely embarrassed at this turn of events, I quickly took back the Bag.
"I'm truly sorry" I said.
*
"I had no idea he was a Man Utd fan"..?
 

Skydrol

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facebook_1603677262810_6726309958116030805_257782287712652.jpg
 

Mavericks Choice

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I had to go to the doctors today. "Hey Doc" I said, "I'm here because I've been getting these terrible headaches recently.""Hmm. Have you been drinking enough?" he asked. "Yeah" I replied, "I downed 2 cans in the waiting room."
 

Mavericks Choice

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I thought I was listening to a Kate Bush song in the car when I realised that the radio was off and I needed to have my brake pads changed.
 
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