Just Commodores Forum Community

It takes just a moment to join our fantastic community

Register

Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Mavericks Choice, Sep 16, 2017.

  1. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    1,027
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    Members Ride:
    Pontiac G8 GT
  2. UTE042_NZ

    UTE042_NZ Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    277
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2017
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Members Ride:
    MY17 Magnum Ute
    A Melbourne woman lost her husband almost four years ago and still hadn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world.
    Finally, she surrendered. With some courage, she told her family members that she will go out again. That said, she didn't really know anyone suitable.
    Her daughter immediately replied: "Mum! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another, and, after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend on the Gold Coast.

    Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude except for a black bra and a pair of black lacy panties, and he in his birthday suit.

    Looking at her he asked: "Why the black underwear?"

    She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down here I'm still in mourning.
    He knew he wasn't getting lucky that night.

    The following night the same scenario. She was standing there with the black panties on, and he was in his birthday suit ... except that he was wearing a black condom.

    She looked at him and asked: "What's with is ... a black condom?"

    "Well." He said, "I wanted to offer my deepest condolences."
     
    keith reed and immortality like this.
  3. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    1,027
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    Members Ride:
    Pontiac G8 GT
    Somewhere in the Middle East....

    [​IMG]
     
    VS_Pete and hiker like this.
  4. LS WAG

    LS WAG New Member

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2017
    Location:
    Auckland, NZ
    Members Ride:
    VK Wagon
    [​IMG]
     
    UTE042_NZ likes this.
  5. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    1,027
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    Members Ride:
    Pontiac G8 GT
  6. Skydrol

    Skydrol Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    1,027
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    Members Ride:
    Pontiac G8 GT
  7. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    Yesterday, I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person...

    Today, I lost my job as a bus driver... This world is too cruel for the kind hearted...
     
  8. ephect

    ephect Donating Member

    Messages:
    4,778
    Likes Received:
    286
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2006
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Members Ride:
    VS Acclaim V6
    [​IMG]
     
    VS_Pete likes this.
  9. psycho_smurf

    psycho_smurf Donating Member

    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Location:
    Rockhampton
    Members Ride:
    2001 VX S2 V6 Wagon
  10. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    "What's your new girlfriend called?" i asked my mate. "It's Clare" he replied, "but everyone calls her Barbie.""Wow! Is that because she's got blonde hair and big tits?" he smiled....I said, "no, it's 'cos she smells of burgers."
     
  11. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    The police phoned me to tell me my wife was in hospital.
    "How is she?" I asked.
    "Very critical," replied the officer.
    "Oh great. What's she complaining about now?" I said.
     
    keith reed and ephect like this.
  12. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    A heartfelt plea from my friend in America....................
    Will someone please give Trump a blow job, so we can impeach him.
     
  13. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'

    She glanced at him casually and replied:

    'You're never home!'
     
  14. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
  15. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
  16. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    475
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    NSW
    Members Ride:
    VF S2 M6, VE Calais V 6L S/Wagon, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
    I bumped into an old mate yesterday. He said, "I haven't seen you for 14 years . What happened?"
    I said, "I've been locked up."
    He said, "What did you do, commit murder?"
    I said, "No, I got married."
     
    keith reed and Skydrol like this.

Share This Page