Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[marty351]

I almost liked.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.

One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.

Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said, "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."

 

[hiker]

A thirty something male is out on the town with some mates,at one bar this late forties well preserved female keeps giving him the come-on, after some good natured rubbishing from his mates he decides to give it a go.After some drinks he decides to go home with the woman because she promises a mother/daughter tag team arrangment.As they enter her house she yells out MA are you awake?

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you
were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell
her you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Excuse me,I need to pee.'

The teacher responded: 'That would be quite impolite. What about you
Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for
once and show us your good manners?'

Johnny said: 'I would say "Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I
hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

The teacher fainted.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

The Farmers Harley
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to
sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched
and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with
the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope
hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken
arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope
the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the
chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike,
rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the
farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best buddies, best
pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began
to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and
he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving
his life.
The moral of the story? (Yep. You betcha. There is a moral!)
'When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks!