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Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

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9th November: Pfizer & BioNTech announce a vaccine that is 90% effective but has to be stored at in an industrial freezer.
16th November: Moderna announces a vaccine that is 95% effective that can be stored in a fridge.
17th November: Trump and Domestos announce a vaccine that is 99% effective and can be kept under the sink!!
 

Mavericks Choice

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I told the barman at my local that he could borrow my sex doll any time he wanted. "Eugh! That's disgusting!" he exclaimed. "Yeah," I said, "but you were pretty quick to jump on my ex-girlfriend weren't you?"
 

Mavericks Choice

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2 cops and their police dog are standing outside a pub when a drunk walks out grabs the dog by the tail lifts the tail up has a look puts it back down shakes his head and walks away
2nd drunk walks out grabs the dog by the tail lifts it up has a look puts it back down shakes his head and walks away
3rd drunk walks out grabs the dog by the tail lifts it up has a look puts it down shakes his head and starts to walk away when the cops grab him and say what are you doing to our dog
The drunk replies the bartender inside said there is a dog outside with 2 arseholes and i wanted to see for myself!
 

luna mina

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I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
 

luna mina

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Rodney wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night. He picks up his bath robe from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra. He thinks "******* hell what happened last night??". He walks towards the bathroom and finds a soiled pair of panties in the other pocket of his robe. Again he thinks "what happened last night, what have I done? Must have been a wild party". He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is "Please, if there's a God, please let this be a teabag."

Kodi nox
 

Mavericks Choice

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The England vs Barbarians rugby match was cancelled because some of the Barbarians went for a meal against covid regulations.
Because sticking your head between arses in the scrum, is much safer than ordering the meal for four, isn't it?.
 

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I went to see the doctor with a persistent neck problem. It's agony every time I tilt my neck upwards I explained It's really affecting my lifestyle and quality of life."
In what way? He asked.
I'm struggling to finish my fucing Beer!
 

Mavericks Choice

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During all of the isolation time, I decided to take up a few musical instruments. I figure if I'm proficient enough, I can use my talents to make a few extra bucks. So far I've learned banjo, accordion and bag pipes. The offers have already started to pour in. You would be surprised how much people are willing to pay me not to play.
 
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