Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

Whenever I hear the expression there's good and bad in all, I remember Sir Isaac Newton came from Grantham. And so did Margaret Thatcher.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Beer is the secret to catching fish. In order to think like a fish, you have to drink like a fish.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I told the doctor that I was experiencing hearing loss in one ear.
He asked, "what ear is it?" I said, "2021"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Every year, Jim entered the state lottery hoping to win.
He never did. One day, after praying vigorously and hoping for God's message, he headed out to the State Fair. A flash of lightning struck him as he was passing by Nadine's carnival booth. She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties. He could see the number 7 written on each of her butt cheeks.He bet on 77 as he thought God had given him a sign. He lost again.Sad.
The winning number was 707.
Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of assholes in your life.

 

[losh1971]

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward?
What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:
- The tender one
- the amazing one
- Lady of my dreams
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother. Then she called the second number on which his sister replied . When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole months salary to make up for her sin.
Once his mother came to know of the story, she sold all her jewellery and gave him the money
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as "Abu Khalid the electrician”

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Just had my 6th driving lesson.. Sure I'm getting ripped off.. He said "well done Mick next week you can sit in the front ."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Terrorists in Baghdad recently blew up a drainage system. Police there are calling it a 'sewer-side' bombing..

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.
The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."
The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Went for a sports massage because of my bad back. The lady said this doesn't come with a 'happy ending' Damn right it didn't! ….At the end it cost me $140