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Joke of the Day

Skydrol

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Mavericks Choice

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Old Mrs. O’Malley told the clerk at her local Dublin Post Office that she want to by 50 Christmas stamps. “Sure”, said the clerk, “and in what denomination would you be wantin’ them?” “Oh my”, sighed Mrs. O’Malley, “has it come down to this? Then give me 25 Catholic and 25 Protestant.”
 

Mavericks Choice

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The Mafia have decided to update it's operations
to keep up with internet trading.
Their 1st venture is called PayUpPal.
 

Mavericks Choice

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I popped into the chemist earlier and I asked the guy behind the counter,
“What's the best thing to use to kill off coronavirus on kitchen surfaces?”
He answered,
"Ammonia cleaner."
I said,
"Oh sorry, my mistake - I thought you were the pharmacist...”
 

Mavericks Choice

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My good deed done for today.
I was at Aldi this morning and I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her shopping came to £47.76 but when she counted her money she only had just under £40. I thought that she was probably someone's gran and id like to think that someone would have helped my gran when she was alive. She didn't want me to help her but I insisted and in no time at all we had all her groceries back on the shelves!
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Mavericks Choice

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So the Movember Moustache will finally be shaven off, thank God. I'm so happy -My wife was starting to look like Tom Selleck!
 

Skydrol

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Mavericks Choice

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VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
‘How did this happen?’ the emergency room doctor asked her.
‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.
‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’
‘No, Silly,’ the blonde said, ‘first I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants. I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’
‘So then?’ asked the doctor.
‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’
‘So then?’ asked the doctor.
‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
 

Mavericks Choice

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Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you.'
 
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