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Joke of the Day

Skydrol

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Rocketeer

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Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish in western Newfoundland,
and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.

One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says:

"THE END IS NEAR.
TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE."


As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells,

"Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures."

From around the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.

Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."
“Yaa," Sean agrees, then adds, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should just say


"BRIDGE CLOSED"?
 

Mavericks Choice

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My friend lost his ear in an accident and had to have a pigs ear transplanted on.
I asked him if it was working ok….
He said, “It’s fine apart from a bit of crackling!”
 

hademall

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The three Murphy sisters, Sandy, Mandy and Fanny, were the prettiest, and tallest girls in town.
They also had the largest feet in town.
One night Sandy and Mandy met two fellows at the local dance in town, and one of them noticed the size of the girls shoes and said “Crikey, you girls have sure got big feet.”
“That’s nothing,” said Mandy, “You should see our Fanny’s.”
 

Mavericks Choice

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Rocketeer

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Teaching Math In 1950..

A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit? $____

2. Teaching Math In 1970 . . . A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit? $___

3. Teaching Math In 1990... A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80.
Did he make a profit? __Yes or __No

4. Teaching Math In 2000...
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 2020 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?There are no wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g, anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc.
Should you require debriefing at conclusion of exam there are counsellors available to assist you adjust back into the real world.
 

Mavericks Choice

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So a doctor's toilet was blocked so he rang the plumber.
The plumber said: "It's early hours of the morning can't it wait?" The doc said: "If you were ill I'd have to come out".
The plumber said: "Fair enough" and called at the docs.
He lifted the toilet seat and threw in two paracetamol and said "Give it a few days and if it's still the same give me a call".
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Mavericks Choice

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Rang up work this morning..
"My wife passed away in the early hours." I told them. "I'm going to need some time off work."
"Oh dear, sorry for your loss." The receptionist said. "And of course, we understand. Take as much time off as you need."
"Thank you." I replied. "It'll be about eighteen years, providing I behave myself."
 
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