Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

It's perfectly ok to talk to yourself, and it's perfectly ok to answer yourself!
But it's totally sad that you have to repeat yourself because you weren't listening!

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A little Irish boy was stood at the side of the road crying, a man asked him "what's wrong"?,
Me Ma's dead the boy replied, "oh bejesus, do you want me to get the priest" said the man.
"No" replied the boy "sex is the last thing on my mind right now?"

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was sitting at
his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position,
the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into
the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your
message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, Sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want ?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook-up your telephone."

 

[hademall]

As you get older you must stay positive. For example, I fell down the stairs the other day and I thought Wow! that’s the fastest I’ve moved in years!

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Paddy answered a knock at the door to find two policemen standing there. One said, 'Are you the owner of the Ford Focus that's parked outside?' 'I am,' he replied. 'Well, I'm afraid someone has hit your car and driven off. It's quite badly damaged.'
He replied, 'Thank god for that!' The copper said, 'What do you mean, sir?' Paddy said, 'I thought you two were here about those videos on my hard drive.'

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work!
But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished--something's up.
It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to be romantic. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired!"

 

[vc commodore]

Blond takes her broken car to the mechanic.
When she goes to collect it , the mechanic says to her "Not too serious love, just **** in the air filter."
"Brilliant,she repiles, how often do I have to do that?


Police arrested a man who robbed a condom factory, He was charged with Rubbery .

Police arrested a prostitute last night, She was Charged with accepting swollen goods.