Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

The police phoned me to tell me my wife was in hospital.
"How is she?" I asked.
"Very critical," replied the officer.
"Oh great. What's she complaining about now?" I said.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A heartfelt plea from my friend in America....................
Will someone please give Trump a blow job, so we can impeach him.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'

She glanced at him casually and replied:

'You're never home!'

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I bumped into an old mate yesterday. He said, "I haven't seen you for 14 years . What happened?"
I said, "I've been locked up."
He said, "What did you do, commit murder?"
I said, "No, I got married."

 

[losh1971]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

My girlfriend found out that I'm married.

"I can't believe this!" she screamed, "We've been together for five years and you didn't think to tell me?"

"I knew it would upset you, So I just didn't say anything."

"How long have you been married for then?" she asked.

"Six months"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I’d slept with. I told
her: “Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!” (The doctor says I
should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take
about a month.)

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Women are finally being allowed to join the SAS.

About time as well, there's no way those brave lads should be cooking their own meals .