Welcome to Just Commodores, a site specifically designed for all people who share the same passion as yourself.

New Posts Contact us

Just Commodores Forum Community

It takes just a moment to join our fantastic community

Register

Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
“Get this…” said a guy to his friends “Last night while I was down at the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
“Did he get anything?” his buddies asked.
“Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts.
The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
On a chilly winter evening, a husband and wife were snuggled together on the sofa recliner watching television.
During a commercial break, he reached over and gave her foot a gentle squeeze.
"Mmmmm," she said. "That's so sweet."
"Actually," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought that was the remote."
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
A Chinese man moved to Australia after years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a small piece of land near Mt Isa. Soon after, his friendly Aussie neighbour decided to go across
and welcome the new guy. But on his way up the drive-way, the Aussie saw the Chinese man running
around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs',
he decided to visit the Chinese the next day.
The next day, just as he was about to knock on the front door, he saw through the window the
Chinese man urinated into a glass and then drank his own urine. Again not wanting to interrupt
another 'Chinese custom', he decided to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later the Aussie decided to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he saw the
Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, paused, and then put his head next to the bull's bum.
The Aussie bloke couldn't take it anymore, so he went up to the Chinese and said
'Jeez Mate,
what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood
and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and
drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum.'
The Chinese was taken back 'Sorry sir, you no understand. These no Chinese customs. I
doing these Australian customs.'
'What do you mean mate' said the Aussie, 'those aren't Australian customs.'
'Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me' replied the Chinese man.
'He say to become true Australian,
you learn to chase chicks,
drink piss,
and listen to bull-****!!..
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Police pull over Paddy for speeding
'Have you been drinking sir?'
Paddy replies' Yes officer I have had 18 pints, 2 bottles of hooch and 6 Bacardi and cokes'
Policemen says ' What the hell are you doing driving!'
Paddy replies,
'I couldn't feckin walk!'
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
I ran out of clean socks so I piled them on a tray, grabbed the detergent and headed to the launderette down the block, a steep hill. As I was walking down the hill I slipped and fell and the dirty socks went flying and the detergent went flying and there I was ..... sitting on the sock by the tray, watching the Tide roll away.
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
In 1887 a British politician by the name of Lord John Action wrote a letter to Bishop Creighton in which he said, "absolute power corrupts absolutely".
I wonder if Lord John Action believed that God was corrupt like Donald Trump.
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment had been to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.
Little Mary led off, "I sold lemonade and I made £30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was how warm the day was and would they like some refreshment."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made £45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "£2,467" he said. "£2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Mouthwash," said Little Johnny. "Mouthwash?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough of that to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said, "This tastes like MUD!" Then I replied ......
"It is. Wanna buy some mouthwash?"
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,679
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
A little girl asked her Dad, "How did the human race appear?"
The Dad answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her father and said,
"Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and mom said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered, "Well, Dear, it's very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers."
 
Top