Mavericks Choice
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Welcome to Just Commodores, a site specifically designed for all people who share the same passion as yourself.
Joke of the Day
- Thread starter Mavericks Choice
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Mavericks Choice
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Mavericks Choice
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A very rich & attractive blonde from Scotland.
buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sports car.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't go at all.
After trying to drive the car at night for a
week (but without any luck), she furiously
calls the Jaguar dealer, and they send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.
So he turns to the Linda and asks: "Madam, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, Linda replies:
"You Stupid man, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know!
Of course I am using the right gears;
I use "D" during the day and "N" at night."!!
buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sports car.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't go at all.
After trying to drive the car at night for a
week (but without any luck), she furiously
calls the Jaguar dealer, and they send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.
So he turns to the Linda and asks: "Madam, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, Linda replies:
"You Stupid man, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know!
Of course I am using the right gears;
I use "D" during the day and "N" at night."!!
Mavericks Choice
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At one Catholic Church in Nebraska, they have monthly marriage seminars for husbands. At the last session, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands. "Well, I've tried to treat her nice, spend d money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for our 5th anniversary!" The priest responded. "Giuseppe, you are an inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?" Giuseppe proudly replied. "I gonna go pick her up "
Mavericks Choice
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Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he ...would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the chemist, and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realise that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tyre. "
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of 10p coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they
spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer."
"And believe me Mr, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he ...would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the chemist, and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realise that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tyre. "
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of 10p coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they
spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer."
"And believe me Mr, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
Mavericks Choice
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After my recent Prostate Exam at t he General Hospital ,
which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had,
the Doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who Was That guy?"
which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had,
the Doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who Was That guy?"
commodore665
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When they place both hands on your shoulders during the exam, that’s when I start to worry
Mavericks Choice
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My grandmother has always been such an inspiration to me.
She has crippling arthritis making it impossible to turn her neck, she is too weak to lift a mug of tea from a table, has cataracts in both eyes preventing her from seeing her hand in front of her face, suffers from incontinence and is prescribed treatment which induces nausea and dizziness.
Through all that she turns to me this morning and said 'Always look on the bright side son .... At least I can still drive.'
She has crippling arthritis making it impossible to turn her neck, she is too weak to lift a mug of tea from a table, has cataracts in both eyes preventing her from seeing her hand in front of her face, suffers from incontinence and is prescribed treatment which induces nausea and dizziness.
Through all that she turns to me this morning and said 'Always look on the bright side son .... At least I can still drive.'
Mavericks Choice
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You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.
"But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
"But", she asked, "how long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.
The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".