Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink Is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, Where have ya been?" " Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. " Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

 

[ephect]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

At his wedding reception, the young groom's grandad congratulated his grandson and said: "The secret to enjoying a long and happy marriage, is to listen to each other at all times, respect each other's wishes and to try and have sex in moderation. That way, your marriage will last as long as your grandma's and mine has."

Thanking him for his advice, the grandson said, "What's sex like then when you get older, grandad?"

His grandad looked at his grandson, smiled and said, "Just like trying to play pool with a piece of rope!"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I was standing on the weighing scales sucking my stomach in and the wife started laughing said, "that wont do much good"?
So i replied "yes it will i can see the numbers now"!

 

[ephect]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I was cuddling with my missus under the Blanket on a cold night."My arse is Freezing " she said..... "Lets check" I replied..."Holy **** it's like Siberia" "Is it that cold" she chuckled....I said, "No it's Huge."

 

[Mavericks Choice]

BBC Breaking News......
Pakistan have shot down 2 Indian Fighter planes.

In response,India have threatened to bomb the highest populated areas of Pakistan.

London,Birmingham,Bradford,Rochdale and Oldham are currently being evacuated....

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I looked out of my window in horror as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist. I immediately rushed outside yelling “Let me through, let me through”
A man at the front said “Thank God for that, are you a Doctor”?
I said “No, that’s my fuking Pizza he’s delivering”