Joke of the Day

[Gotta_Drive_1]

Driving instructor says to a kiwi during a driving test; can you make a "U" turn. He replies; " I can make her eyes pop"

 

[Gotta_Drive_1]

A woman walks into a police station and says she has just been raped by 5 Aussies. Police officer asks how she knows it was 5 Australians?? She replies; "well I had to do all the work!"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?”
The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?”
“Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just nick it!”

 

[Gotta_Drive_1]

A kiwi and an irish man are driving down the road and spot a ewe with its head stuck in a fence. Kiwi jumps out of the car, runs into the paddock and serves up the ewe. He comes back to the car and tells Paddy its his turn. Paddy sheepishly walks through the paddock to the ewe, drops his pants.....
Then sticks his head in the fence!!!

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I called into the photographers today to pick up some photos I'd taken of my wife naked.
"Would you like the negatives?" Asked the guy as he handed me the package.
"Yes please!" I replied.
He said, "Your wife's got saggy Tits and a fat Arse."

 

[Gotta_Drive_1]

Three men driving down the road, Aussie, Jew and Indigenous. They had a car accident and all got killed!.. About 3 weeks later the Aussie was sitting in the pub and his mate came in and was shocked to see him. "I thought you and the other two got killed in the car accident?" We did but when we got to heaven God said it was all full but for $50 he would put us back on earth to continue our lives. Wow said his mate, that's fantastic but where are the other two??..

Well he said.... when I left the Jew had God down to $27.50 and the indigenous reckoned the Government should pay for it!!!

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Fire services in Paris have found a suspicious package in Notre Dame Cathedral, but it just contained a Cheese and Tomato sandwich, a packet of crisps, an apple and a carton of orange juice
It was the Lunchpack of Notre Dame.

 

[Skydrol]

 

[Gotta_Drive_1]

Old drunk sleeps on the same bench every night.. one morning he wakes up and a punk rocker with multi coloured mohawk is sitting on the end of the bench... He wipes his eyes a couple of times while staring at the punk... punk says " what? You never done anything WILD mate"?? Old drunk keeps staring at him absolutely amazed at the hairdo and without hesitation says... " I think I may have f@#$#d a parrot once"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

I met this girl at the weekend and took her home to meet my dad. He whispered to me, "Where the **** did you get her from son? She's cross-eyed, bow-legged, and she's got no teeth!"

I replied, "There"s no need to whisper Dad. She's deaf as well!"