Joke of the Day

[Mavericks Choice]

Just as the graveside service finished there was a distant lightning bolt accompanied by a tremendous burst of rumbling thunder. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said "Well she's there. She is his problem now"

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Hi Jamie Oliver
Sorry to hear your restaurants are going through a tough patch, have you considered contacting Gordon Ramsay ?
He does this show where he goes into failing restaurants and helps turn them around.
Just a thought...

 

[Mavericks Choice]

After reading about the awful harm being caused to the planet by plastic, I decided to leap into action.
I cut up all the wife's credit cards.

 

[Mavericks Choice]

Having sex when you're over 50 is like setting off a cheap Chinese firework. You spend half an hour getting the wick up, then it's one hugely disappointing bang which is over in a couple of seconds.

 

[ephect]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

My girlfriend has been working as a magician's assistant for a few years now & she's picked up a few tricks...I came home from work early the other day to find her dressed in her magician assistants little sexy outfit. She said, "Abracadabra!" and me mate Dave came out of the wardrobe stark bollock naked.... poor Dave must've wondered what the fuk was going on...

 

[Mavericks Choice]

 

[Mavericks Choice]

A male student asked his English professor,
"What is the definition of a dilemma?"
The professor said, "Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that."
"Imagine that you are lying in a big bed with a beautiful aroused naked young woman on one side and an excited gay man on the other."
"Who are you going to turn your back on?

 

[Mavericks Choice]

An engineer dies and goes to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"