Welcome to Just Commodores, a site specifically designed for all people who share the same passion as yourself.

New Posts Contact us

Just Commodores Forum Community

It takes just a moment to join our fantastic community

Register

Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Call of Nature

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

When she looked back again, there were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles.

The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room.

Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing their waiting for her.

Without batting an eye, she said coyly:

"I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Paddy the Irishman is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey Paddy, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, let me try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey Paddy, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I've got to try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman and says, "Hey Paddy, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"
....And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin.
 

Skydrol

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
1,043
Reaction score
10,916
Points
113
Location
USA
Members Ride
Pontiac G8 GT
IMG-20190530-WA0007.jpg
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
A very very posh upper class young lady went to the doctor.
This is how the conversation went:

YL..."I am getting married next week, doctor and I need some advice on the sexual side of things. I am still a virgin and just need to know about the man's thingy. You see last weekend my fiance stayed overnight at our country mansion and I saw him on the landing, naked and saw his thingy, and just need to know a couple of things"

D..."Ask away, young lady"

YL....."What do you call the bulbous growth at the end of his thingy? It's shaped a little like a bell"

D...."Well actually it can called the bell end"

YL...."And the tubular thingy the bell end is attached to?"

D....." That in laymans terms would be the shaft"

YL..." And the two round thingys about 22 inches from the bell end?"

D....."How fuckin far?????"

YL...."I would think about 22 inches"

D....." Well for your sake, young lady I hope they're the cheeks of his arse!"
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Ryanair is proposing a 'fat tax' for obese customers.

I think this is a great idea and I'd do it like this.

A bit like the hand luggage size test, have a chair with arms at the check-in that passengers have to sit in. When they get up if the chair is still stuck to their arse they pay the tax.

The rest of the queue behind them can all cheer and clap and shout "Pay up, you fat Kent!" making the normally dreary check-in experience a more light-hearted affair.
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Donald Trump, 72; 'Well, I just feel like a young man. I'm so young. I can't believe it. I'm the youngest person. I am a young, vibrant man.'
In a way he's right. His brain hasn't aged a day since he was about four.
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman:
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the
toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman’.
The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’.
The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’ The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it?’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll
love it.’
‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
..NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’, to which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’
The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’
The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’
‘I DIED’, said the rabbit.
‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause. The rabbit said…
‘Mixin-me-toasties.’
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
280
Reaction score
25,276
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
61750046_659331117863274_3647484393259270144_n.jpg
 
Top