joke of the day

[m8imv8]

It was a dark and stormy night .I was driving Inter state when I noticed 2 hooded figures hitch -hiking . Against my better judgement , I down -shifted , halted. and opened the passenger door .They climbed in . Shaking the rain off , the hikers revealed themselves as very attractive girls of Asian descent .Thank You for picking us up driver . Several Kms passed while they were talking amongst themselves . In an effort to break the ice, I asked .. What country do you come from ??? Ohh ,We are from Thailand one of them giggled . More time passed . ... Driver .. Because you have been so kind , we would like to show our gratitude ... with you , we will have a Threesome ..For you ,it will be like Lotto . Well, thinking to myself a threesome is not worth a Million Dollars . Clearly something lost in translation. I down shifted into the next Lay -By . We all climbed into the Sleeper , and , as we were getting our gear off , Six balls rolled out .

 

[Rocketeer]

This is such a heart warming story.

Two Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, a Royal Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After take-off the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a Coke.'

'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'
As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbours, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

'How long must this go on?
This fighting between our nations?
This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes' ?

 

[Rocketeer]

I was in a shoe shop and tried on a shoe. I said to the assistant "it's too tight".

He said "Try it with the tongue out", I said "It'th no nho ghood, it'th thtill thoo thight".

 

[Rocketeer]

Playing doctor and nurses with the wife last night did not go very well....

Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese...