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Pretender

Brain function fading .
Joined
Oct 2, 2005
Messages
575
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Age
53
Location
Sunny Rockingham WA
Members Ride
Pajero LWB Wagon, Power/economy what's that ???
English

A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and tells the class that they will play a game to help with their English . She says that she will call out a word and if anyone can correctly use this word in a sentence they will get a bag of lollies. The teacher calls out the first word and several students raise their hands.

The teacher goes through many words and the kids are up to the task and the lollies are rapidly diminishing.
The teacher then announces that they will try some harder words,
OK children can anybody put the word "contagious" in a sentence for me?
Little Johnny is the only one with his hand up at the back of the class. Now the teacher knows, as we all know, Little Johnny can be very rude.
After a quick thought she decides why not. OK Little Johnny go ahead

"Well me and me dad were on the front lawn, he was drinking and I was smashing the empties on the road, when old Harry from across the road came out with a tin of paint and a tiny little paint brush. He started painting the fence with these little tiny strokes. Dad says to me, '****, it's gonna take that contagious to finish that fence.'"



Deaf Couple


Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. "The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis fifty times"
 

Outlaw Torn

New Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2005
Messages
165
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3
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32
Location
Opononi, NZ
Members Ride
91 FORD EA Falcon (So sue me)
rofl, the second one is good
 
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