Limericks

[VS 5.0]

For some reason, this oldie popped into my head the other day so I thought I would share and see what other humorous limericks people have.

There was a young man from Kent
Whose prick was all battered and bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
Instead of coming he went

 

[markalan1two]

Their once was a man from Nepal
Who had a hexagonal ball
The square root of its weight
Plus his address times eight
is his number give him a call..............

 

[hiker]

here lies the body of Peter Hick
he died from having a corkscrew dick
he searched the world back to front

• searching for a girl with a corkscrew ****
• the day he found her he dropped dead
• the poor poor girl had a left hand thread.

 

[BlackVXGTS]

I'm in the army now
I sat behind a cow
The cow let off - and I went off
I'm in the airforce now

 

[rucxy]

One fine day, in the middle of the night.
2 dead boys came out to fight.
Back to back they faced each other.
Drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise and came to help the 2 dead boys.
If you don't believe me, ask the blind man as he saw it all.

 

[Calaber]

Aboard the good ship Venus,
By God, you should have seen us.
The figurehead
Was a maiden in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis.

 

[markalan1two]

A strange young fellow from Leeds
Thought he'd swallow a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds......................

 

[VS 5.0]

There was an old lady from Wheeling
Who had a very strange feeling
To lie on her back
Tickle her crack
And piss all over the ceiling