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More than two, less than four


Brain function fading .
Oct 2, 2005
Reaction score
Sunny Rockingham WA
Members Ride
Pajero LWB Wagon, Power/economy what's that ???
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Birthday Surprise[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks.[/FONT]​
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 100 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He did just that.
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nobody has seen or heard from him since.[/FONT]

One Liners (some may have been posted before)

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I intend to live forever - so far, so good[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb![/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms![/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines![/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Black holes are where God divided by zero.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.[/FONT]

The Haircut

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, manicure, haircut, etc. he placed the boy in the chair.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"I'm goin' to buy a tie to wear to the party," he said. "I'll be backin a few minutes."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When the boy's haircut was done and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "It looks like your daddy forgot all about you."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "I met him outside,and he said, 'Come in with me son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"[/FONT]


DJ Titan...Hardstyle guru
May 2, 2006
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Edithvale born n bred...
Members Ride
VR 5.0L Statesman
that first one is gold!!! lol