New Dads gather here (mums too I guess)

[mouce]

Whether you want to brag about your new son/daughter/other, organise a meetup for newbie parents who want to get their children into Commodores from the day they come home from the hospital, or if you just need a place to post your concerns about being a parent.


Just got my little boy home from the hospital after a 10 day stay in the special care ward (bit of extra fluid on his lungs).

He's doing fine now, mum's doing fine too...

Me? Struggling, freaking out, worried about money, my job, my mortgage, not sleeping, eating or any of the good normal stuff that I used to do.

He was a planned baby (no accident), but somehow I just can't get the stress and worries out of the way enough to enjoy having my first child around.

My question...Any other newbie dads in the Northern Suburbs of Melbourne (around Greensborough would be best), who just want to have a beer with someone else going through the same things?


Feel free to post your stories about any new children in your lives, whether they be yours, adopted or from somewhere completely different. Something tells me there are lots of dads on this forum.

 

[alpha_au]

As much as I love my little one, I regret not waiting another few years. I wish I would have waited until we paid off more of our house and got sorted out a bit more financially.

All the best to you and I guess I don't have to remind you that the next few years are going to be real, real tough financially and mentally (lack of sleep,etc)

 

[Lumps of cheese]

My kids are 7 and 5 but it seems like only yesterday i was at the hospital picking them up for the first time. Mate it's normal to freak a little with your first. I know i had trouble sleeping for the first week at home wondering if he was still breathing in his bassonet beside us
Apart from that, i must say that any worries i might have had before my eldest son was born was replaced by joy after his arrival, same with my younger boy, i can have a real **** day and come home knowing the kids are waiting for me and it makes it so worthwhile.
Enjoy it as much as you can, they grow up so quickly.

 

[Hangman]

Enjoy it as much as you can, they grow up so quickly.

As above. My kids are 7 and 5 as well, and they grow up that quick it's not funny.

 

[Julie]

Congratulations

I'm a mum to 4 kids, an 11 yr old, 5 yr old, 3 month old and a little boy who couldn't stay with us (stillborn).

The first few weeks are very stressful but it does get better, just wait til your little man starts smiling, laughing and goo gaa'ing, babies get so much more enjoyable when they can interact with you rather than just eating sleeping and pooing. Don't sweat the small stuff and look after yourself, if you run yourself ragged you can't be on top of your game for your bub so try to chill out and eat properly. If you really feel you are struggling and its getting you down talk to your dr or one of those helplines, new dads can get post natal depression too if you google "Edinburgh Depression Scale" you will be able to find a quiz to do that helps identify if you are at risk your partner has probably done this test already but they tend to leave blokes out.

 

[mouce]

Thanks to everyone for such quick replies, and serious ones at that.

@Julie. I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy who couldn't be with you. I've also found The Place for Postpartum Dads And Facts About Men With Postpartum Depression or Other Problems With Mood After Becoming A New Father which is a forum dedicated to helping dads who are struggling with Paternal Postpartum depression/anxiety. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find anything even remotely close to that in Australia.

Something I left out of my original post: I was diagnosed with an acute anxiety disorder almost 3 years ago.

I've been told that everything gets easier the longer it goes on, and that it becomes more rewarding, and happier, but at the moment...I'm dropping a kg a day in body weight, can't face the prospect of returning to work, but I'm panicked because I'm not at work...I'm putting all of my energy into holding myself together for the sake of my wife and child. The only problem is that it's killing me.

 

[Krilnik]

I've got a 21 month old boy that I love more than anything.

2nd one due on Saturday!

Mouce, stop stressing and forget the mortgage. Everything always works out. Am I right?! Enjoy these first few days and months cos as mentioned above it'll fly by.

Round up ya mates and have a few beers at the Lower Plenty pub, if the missus let's ya!!!

 

[greenacc]

Geez Mouce, try to take a deep breath and relax for a moment. You obviously want to be a good dad and thats 90% of the battle won.
I've got a little girl who's 2 and a half. The biggest things i learnt after having her was that to be a good parent you need to look after yourself too. The other thing is for the rest of the family to be tollerant of each other because it can be a bloody hard time ( fun but hard ). You don't get much sleep or time to cook or clean or go out and have fun. Just got to take the opportunities you get so when baby sleeps you sleep. Buy food thats quick and easy to cook. When we did cook, say spaghetti, we'd cook enough for 2 days so you don't need to cook tomorrow as well.
Long story, but when she was 1 i had a busy period at work, and we had a heat wave that week so i wasn't sleeping properly. Ended up having a car acco and writing off my commo. Luckily i walked away but it put a lot of things straight in my head ( must have been the whiplash )
Just enjoy your time with him and look after yourself too so you'll be around for many more years.

 

[Reaper]

Reaper 2.0 at 10 weeks

 

[_senator_]

Kids are fantastic I was petrified when I found out savannah my daughter was on her way, I guess you go through so many mind setswhen you first find out you are expecting I know I did freaked out big time but honestly it just all falls together. I honestly thought I would be the worst dad I sleep through anything alarms misses kicking me she makes a tiny noise and I'm up so take a breath brother relax and just enjoy
Mine now 7 months with another on way she is currently in hospital really bad morning sickness so if u ever need someone to talk to hit me up