mostly just share files, and the printer. they both have 'workgroup' as their workgroup but i cant see the other comp from either comp
Should be able to see each other when you click the workgroup, or "view networked computers" or something similar on XP.
Check the firewalls arnt blocking them.
You can share files by using the microsoft folder sharing system already in place for that exact reason, also used to share files amongst multible users on one computer. Or you can do the same for a random folder:
Right click, click the sharing tab, enable network sharing and either set permissions at this level (so the other computers credentials).
Then go to the other computer and "map a network drive" giving the location of the shared folder, if you didnt give assign permissions before then enter the credentials of the first computer and enable "re-connect at logon". Will appear as another hard drive on the other computer.
Sorry if thats confusing, just giving a summary of what needs to be done.
For your printer, go to the other computer, manually add a printer, selecting network printer, assign its destination and drivers, you MAY have to enable printer sharing on the other computer, but its normally enabled as default.