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Sexy joke

Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Dayvo, Aug 31, 2019.

  1. Dayvo

    Dayvo Because i can

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    Two female co-workers are having a conversation at work.
    Woman 1: Did you have good sex last night?
    Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in 4 minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in 2 minutes. How about you?
    Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home. He took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we took a walk for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. After foreplay we had an hour long session of fantastic sex and then we talked for an hour. It was like in a fairytale!
    At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
    Husband 1: Did you have good sex last night?
    Husband 2: Yes, it was great! I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. What about you?
    Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner. They cut the electricity because I didn't pay the bill. So I had to take my wife out to dinner and it was so expensive that we didn't have money for a cab. So we had to walk home for an hour – and since there was no electricity when we got home, I had to light bloody candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't cum for another hour. I finally did and was so mad and aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and had to listen to my wife jabber away for another ******* hour!
     
    wetwork65, ephect, VS_Pete and 4 others like this.
  2. Trevor loves holden.

    Trevor loves holden. Well-Known Member

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    This very hot young woman in her 20's goes into a pet store wearing this low cut red miniskirt with a low V collar with a see through white T-shirt,
    she approaches the counter standing there was 2 guys that work there they introduce them selves and then ask her how can we help you today,
    she replies well I'm looking for a new pet my pussy got hit by a car last night and died,
    so guy number 1 replies so you after another cat she said no! I want something that can live indoors that doesn't take much to look after,
    the guy says how about a couple of fish she replied no too boring,
    guy number 2 said how about a snake, hell no I'm scared of them so guy number 1 said well what do you like!
    she stands there for a moment thinking and she says to them well I do like birds and straight out guy number 2 said I got it I got it she said got what tell me!
    Guy number 2 looks at guy number 1 and winks then looks back towards her and said I bet you like a cockatoo..
     
  3. Trevor loves holden.

    Trevor loves holden. Well-Known Member

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