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Some Short Length Jokes

BlackVXGTS

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Aug 14, 2004
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GEN-F2 GTS A6, VS Clubsport 185 A4
Diet tip: If you think you’re hungry, you might just be thirsty.
Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.

We are not ageing; we are just ripening to perfection.

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in his stomach.
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“It certainly does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can read the numbers”.

So, I was at the bar last night and the waitress screamed, “Anyone know CPR?”
I said, “Hell. I know the entire alphabet.”
Everyone laughed…
Well, everyone except this one guy.

Patient to doctor, “Well… You see, the problem is that obesity runs in my family.”
Doctor to patient, “No, the problem is that nobody runs in your family!”

We all know that mirrors don’t lie….
I’m just grateful that they don’t laugh.

You come from dust, you will return to dust.
That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Wife: “I have a bag of clothing I’d like to donate.”
Husband: “Why not just throw it in the rubbish? That’s much easier.”
Wife: “But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.”
Husband: “Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.”
(Husband is recovering from a head injury now!)

Laughing at your own mistakes lengthens your life.
Laughing at your wife’s mistakes shortens it.

I went by the house that I grew up in, and asked if I could go in and look around.
They said No, and slammed the door in my face.
My parents can be so rude.

A man walks into Hotel reception and says, “Hi, I’ve forgotten what room I’m in.”
Receptionist says, “No problem Sir. This is called ‘The Lobby’.”

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and nobody is around to hear it.
You should probably still get rid of the chainsaw!
 
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