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Discussion in 'Jokes/Humour' started by Mavericks Choice, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. Mavericks Choice

    Mavericks Choice Well-Known Member

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    *When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    By Lee Majors

    *After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    _~By Al Gore_

    *By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    _~By Socrates_

    *Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
    _~By Mike Tyson_

    *The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
    _~By George Clooney_

    *I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.*
    _~By Bill Clinton_

    *"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."
    _~By George W. Bush_

    *"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
    _~By Rudy Giuliani_

    *"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
    _~By Donald Trump_

    *Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    *1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,*
    *2. Whenever you're right, shut up.*
    _~By Shaquille O’Neal_

    *The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
    _~By Kobe Bryant_

    *You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    _~By David Hasselhoff_

    *My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    _~By Alec Baldwin_

    *A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    _~By Barack Obama_

    *Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
    _~By Tommy Lee_

    *A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
    _~By Brad Pitt_

    *First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"*
    *Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
    _~ By Jimmy Kimmel_

    *“First there is the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!
    _~By Jay Leno_

    *"The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife!
    _~By Brandon Breezy_

    *Forward this to all the guys to give them a good laugh .......and to the ladies with good sense of humour who can handle it!!
     
    VS_Pete and hiker like this.

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