BlackVXGTS
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2004
- Messages
- 5,488
- Reaction score
- 2,494
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Melbourne, SE
- Members Ride
- GEN-F2 GTS A6, VS Clubsport 185 A4
Never make a woman mad.
They can remember stuff that hasn't happened yet!
Husband: “Why do you keep buying plants when you end up killing them?”
Wife: “Just to remind you what I am capable of.”
An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said, “For god’s sake!. Leave it on the porn channel…”
“You already know how to fish!”
Man: “My life hasn’t been the same since my accident”
Friend: “What accident?”
Man: “The one where I got my finger stuck in a wedding ring.”
“I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately.”
A elderly man is praying by the bedside.
Wife: “What are you praying for?”
Man: “Guidance”
Wife: “Pray for stiffness, I’ll guide it myself.”
“Grandpa! What are you doing on the porch with no pants on?”
“Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea!”
Wife: “Can you stop yawning when I’m talking to you?”
Husband: “I’m not yawning, I’m trying to say something!”
When you hear a woman say “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you.
She’s giving you a chance to change what you said!
Son: “Dad, I got a part in the school play. I’ll play the part of a man who’s been married for 25 years.”
Father: “That’s great, maybe next time you’ll get a speaking part!”
They can remember stuff that hasn't happened yet!
Husband: “Why do you keep buying plants when you end up killing them?”
Wife: “Just to remind you what I am capable of.”
An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said, “For god’s sake!. Leave it on the porn channel…”
“You already know how to fish!”
Man: “My life hasn’t been the same since my accident”
Friend: “What accident?”
Man: “The one where I got my finger stuck in a wedding ring.”
“I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately.”
A elderly man is praying by the bedside.
Wife: “What are you praying for?”
Man: “Guidance”
Wife: “Pray for stiffness, I’ll guide it myself.”
“Grandpa! What are you doing on the porch with no pants on?”
“Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea!”
Wife: “Can you stop yawning when I’m talking to you?”
Husband: “I’m not yawning, I’m trying to say something!”
When you hear a woman say “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you.
She’s giving you a chance to change what you said!
Son: “Dad, I got a part in the school play. I’ll play the part of a man who’s been married for 25 years.”
Father: “That’s great, maybe next time you’ll get a speaking part!”