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The what now thread

Chris E

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Mate I do know what your going through, October last year i met this girl through my mate at the local lounge, we had a talk, laugh etc it went well, didn't hook up but i did get her number.

After about a week of calling her we organised a movie date, forget what movie we watched but after that night we went back to her place and it went from there. So we started seeing each other more often, I was loving it, i thought we had a best connection, we couldn't get enough of each other, anyway long story short, we were together for about 6 months and it was great, then randomly she stopped msging me, when i went to see her she barely spoke, within a week of this she asked if we could go on a break.

I don't believe in this 'break' **** so i pretty much said so we arn't seeing each other anymore, and that was it, 6 months of awesome times all changed around within a week.

I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, i was lost, my best mates had never seen me in this condition, they all came around threw me in the car and took me to the strippers to get pissed and what not. I was in that mopy mood for a good two weeks, then i actually thought to myself. If i keep this up then everythings going to come crashing down. I did go clubbing also, didn't go just to smash some box, I went to have a good time, some ladies would come up and dance with me but i didn't think anything of it and just had a bloody good time.

I changed my life dramatically, I started doing gym nearly every day, joined up to do a advanced diploma in computer engineering so kick start my certification and now i've got a job at a design bathroom company managing the servers and computers there, and they said when i've finished schooling i've got a full time postion waiting for me, im pretty much set.
Also after i'd eventually goten over her and moved on, she randomly started messaging me saying she was sorry and wants me back, but **** going through all that **** again so i said no and it was the best decision i've made :)

God dam i've written an essay, but i hope this helps mate


I've got to agree with this guy, use it as motivation to better yourself. I was in a similar situation as you (wildvs2). I realised I spent way to much time and effort on a girl, and since then just like you I've started hitting the gym a lot, getting heaps better grades at uni and am moving up very quickly at work. However I did the stupid thing when she begged for me back and said yes, obviously didn't end well.


But acex throw yourself into something else to get your mind off it, I converted my car to a manual to keep my mind off it. Don't let it stop you from things in your own life, you've said its cost you your diploma if it was me I would try and get that back on track as others have said.
 

acex1138

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ive been driving a lot, got new speakers yesterday put them in and drove a lot more today. im now tryna focus on my tafe work. as soon as im not driving and tryna do something. it all just hits me in teh face and theres no focus
 

levymetal

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as a famous musician once wrote/sang
"suicide isnt painless, when you leave everyone in pain"

two shots will never go down the same... nofx? or did they just get it from someone else :p?



op: you need to cut off all contact. if she tries to contact you, ignore her, DO NOT give her the satisfaction of knowing that you still care about her. i've dragged this **** out with a bitch ex of mine for 6 months now... just talking every now and then... most of the time she texts me and i abuse her, but she's still getting the attention, so she keeps on going. she's trying to get back with me but i ****ing hate her, and the dirty slut is ****ing around with other guys (lying to me about it of course), so really, well like i said i ****ing hate her and she is a dirty slut. enough is enough and i'm just never going to respond to her again... it's really hard but what can you do. you don't want to end up like me wasting 6 months of your life when you could be getting out there finding a better girlfriend.
 
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acex1138

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i dont get people who are like that. im not tryna sound better then everyone else, most relationships are a mistake. this one was differant. it just didnt work out because of how she feels.

yeah i'd love her feelings for me to come back but its probably not gonna happen. she knows i still got something for her and she wants to be friends, today i told her im backing off until shes finished exams because its gonna be awkward, i dont evne know if it will work

we were only friends a few weeks before we started going out... so its not liek theres a foundation to fall back on. she knows she can still call me and talk if stuffs up
 

yZoH

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Only thing I hav to say here is

Find the real you...

I was in a relationship with an ex 2years or so, did things just to make her happy, etc...

You can never regret something that made you smile but you can always find the real you.
And the "Friends" Business doesnt always work, If it was true an real, friends will never work cos you'll always have that spot in your heart for them, So you n ever want to see them with someone else...

Goodluck mate.

Cheers
MaT
 

Lumps of cheese

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Mate, you're 20 with your whole life ahead of you. You will get over this and you will bounce back, just get out and have some fun to take your mind off things for a while and you'll be back to normal in no time.
 

rb26dett

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If I have learned anything in my time on this planet, it is that people dont just fall out of love without someone else being involved.

We have all been there, take some time out for yourself, do the stuff you want to do and before you know it your on top of the world again.
 

acex1138

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hozy couldnt have said it better.

and yeah i know the whole im 20 im young stuff. i dont want to go back to a differant girl each night or be one of these people who at 30 is still tryna be a player or divorced or something. i know what kinds of girls are worth it and which arent.

why i steer clear or girls u can sleep without much effort or who have slept around. sounds christian but after a while u realise that someones actions are who they are. how many girl-friends ive had who go after the bad boys thinking they will change just for them. its the same with girls for guys. no one really talks about it tho
 

Low_VX_Taxi

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I've got to agree with this guy, use it as motivation to better yourself. I was in a similar situation as you (wildvs2). I realised I spent way to much time and effort on a girl, and since then just like you I've started hitting the gym a lot, getting heaps better grades at uni and am moving up very quickly at work. However I did the stupid thing when she begged for me back and said yes, obviously didn't end well.


But acex throw yourself into something else to get your mind off it, I converted my car to a manual to keep my mind off it. Don't let it stop you from things in your own life, you've said its cost you your diploma if it was me I would try and get that back on track as others have said.

+1 for finding something to focus on.
 
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Chris E

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i dont get people who are like that. im not tryna sound better then everyone else, most relationships are a mistake. this one was differant. it just didnt work out because of how she feels.

yeah i'd love her feelings for me to come back but its probably not gonna happen. she knows i still got something for her and she wants to be friends, today i told her im backing off until shes finished exams because its gonna be awkward, i dont evne know if it will work

we were only friends a few weeks before we started going out... so its not liek theres a foundation to fall back on. she knows she can still call me and talk if stuffs up

My advice is that friends after having feelings that strong will just not work. I've been there with my ex, we spent a long time after we dated pretending we were just friends and that neither of us felt any differently than just friends, ended up very messed up and a lot of people, not just us, got hurt through it and it wrecked a lot of friendships.

Our relationship was similar, our feelings just didn't work out at the time and with our lifestyles neither of us had the time or energy to try and work it out.

I think you should just keep on doing what your doing, focus on other things etc, if its meant to be it will work out itself.
 
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